Helicopter aunt thinking she's doing me a favor
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Anonymous
+1 4 & 6 yr olds shouldn't need to be watched constantly either (unless there's some developmental issue you are unaware of). Poor kids. |
Anonymous
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Op maybe say something like "oh Kelly I didn't realize you thought my kids needed to be watched like yours. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know they are perfectly fine in their own house and yard with me just on premises. I know you're looking forward to that stage. Please let me know if my kids ask you for anything, and let's just hang out here and let them play. That way we can spend time together too"
Would something like that work? |
Anonymous
This is a nice way to broach the subject. +1 |
Anonymous
| Do your kids pick on her kids? |
Anonymous
Except not all 8 and 9 year olds "supervise" or even treat younger kids kindly. |
Anonymous
I can see the aunt wanting to closely supervise for the first day of the visit but after that, unless there is a problem -- which she should discuss with her sister -- then back off and let the kids play. |
Anonymous
| OP, are your kids really rowdy compared to her kids? |
Anonymous
I think something like the above would work, but I would phrase it as "Larla and Larlo are pretty responsible kids no that they are older, I am totally comfortable letting them play by themselves as long as their is an adult in the house. I think they would also be fine playing with the cousins. Could we try letting the kids play with less direct supervision and see how it goes?" |
Anonymous
| If she says that she doesn't think her kids can play without supervision, then ask yourself if it's important for your kids to play with their cousins and spend time with them. If the answer is yes, then consider taking a turn watching them all. You don't have to play WITH them, but if your sister thinks a parent should be nearby in the same space, then why don't you both hang out together near the kids? |
Anonymous
| +1,000. I say that as the person with younger kids in my extended family. Admittedly, I also have a bit of a chip on my shoulder after years of older in laws having babies and thus slowing down the pace to do kid things. Now that the first grandchildren are older, their parents seem to have forgotten that they and their kids aren't the center of the universe. I don't mind supervising my kids. They are my responsibility. I do get tired of breaking up fights among the older kids. |
Anonymous
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Think about this, OP. When your kids were born and she didn't have kids yet, was she a loving, involved, playful, engaged aunt? I'm suspecting yes. Now that she has kids, she probably wonders why you don't seem to want to spend more time with her little ones.
Why not have everyone hang out together, and give each other equal breaks? And you can also try the "let's see if they can do an hour unsupervised while we have a cup of coffee and a muffin" approach. Isn't the point of the visit to spend time together? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Exactly. Perhaps you are unaware of what your kids are like around her 4 year old. Older kids do need to be supervised around younger ones. One Thanksgiving some medium and big kid family members were running through a bedroom where my infant was sleeping on the floor and could have been trampled (nowhere else to put her), had I not been watching. It pays to be a helicopter parent/aunt sometimes. |
Anonymous
| Frankly, it's usually the parents who don't watch their rougher-than-they-kids who throw around the term "helicopter." |
Anonymous
| Why don't you check on your kids occasionally? |