regret marrying my husband
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toughlife2015
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I regret marrying my husband. And its because his life is dictated by his parents. I should have gotten to know him better before i married him. I married him too early.
Now all my life decisions are made by my in laws, and if i stand up for myself, im accused of being disrespectful and rude. My husband does not support me at all. My husband and i have no money to move out either. And im four months pregnant unfortunately. I really hope we get divorced, because this is a really sad unhappy marriage, far from what i'd dreamt of. |
Anonymous
| Do you live with them? Being pregnant certainly complicates matters for you at this point. Have you tried counseling with your dh? Do you guys have any plans to move out? |
Anonymous
| If you live with them you need to move out otherwise they will forever be in your business. Marriages can always be un-done, it just takes more work. You are not trapped, even if you have a baby with this person. |
Anonymous
If you and your DH have no money, are you at least in school? |
Anonymous
| Will you have a built-in sitter after you have your baby? Get a good paying job; save money. Grin and bear it for as long as you can then move out, with or without your husband. |
Anonymous
| How old are you two? |
Anonymous
+1 I don't hear mature people talking about how their marriage doesn't live up to their dreams. Marriage is a relationship and it takes lots of work. You don't get a perfect situation -- there are always in-laws, health concerns, money struggles, etc to deal with in some form. You commit, you do the work to fix problems, and you stick it out. Obviously that doesn't apply in cases of abuse, but it sounds like that's not happening here. You guys need therapy and to grow up. You either need to decide to fix this for your child, or leave and be committed to being a single mom (which is fuck-all hard), or get an abortion. |
Anonymous
Disrespectful and rude? Are you married to Asian guy specially Indian/Pakistani where parents have control over their kids life and not obeying them means rude and disrespectful. |
Anonymous
| If you are waiting for someone to fix it for you, ain't gonna happen. What do you mean you *hope* to get divorced? If you want one, go talk to a lawyer. Your fate is in your control. |
Anonymous
| Toughlife2015 is a telling name. You are a professional victim. Get some help and become the victor of your life. If your marriage is a mistake, rectify it. It is hard, I understand but you, and only you, are responsible for your happiness. Good luck and for the love of God, get a new moniker--greatlife 2016! |
Anonymous
| As a brown person I have to say this sounds like something brown people do. Lot's of mama's boys in our culture. |
Anonymous
Never heard people refer to themselves as brown before, but last time I checked, there is more than one brown culture? |
Anonymous
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Every day do something to try to make the situation better.
It's hard to be the kid of controlling parents -- you don't even realize how incapacitated you are. It's a very gradual learning process, and some people never snap out of it. You can be patient and try to work with him, but it needs to be about trying to change specific small things and not complaining about the parents. Best wishes, OP. |
Anonymous
South Asians refer to themselves as brown quite often. And yes, as another South Asian, I totally see this happening. |
Anonymous
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OP, can you give one example of a time you tried to stand up for yourself and your husband didn't support you?
How did you end up living with them rather than in your own place? Do you work? Would you consider sharing a home with others if you could move out? What are your plans for when the baby comes? |