Poor eye contact

[Anonymous]

DS makes bad eye contact. He is 20 months and so active. He has communication/ speech delays. Does poor eye contact almost always mean autism? can eye contact actually improve with speech and OT? Anyone else's child have poor eye contact/ delayed non verbal and speech delays and end up getting caught up? Will my son ever catch up? I'm feeling really hopeless today after speech...

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course it can improve and 20 months is so very young. You are way overreacting.

[Anonymous]

No, it does not always mean autism.

No symptom on the "autism checklist" always means autism.

Yes your child has a good chance of catching up. Communication speech delays take time and 20 months is quite young. Please don't despair. So many success stories.

[Anonymous]

Oh, yes, at 20 months your child has a great chance! Speech delays do take time, waaaaayyyy longer than you think, and you often can't see any improvement because it's incrementally slower. I think it's important to think quarterly: what can your son do now that he couldn't do 3 months ago, so that's mid summer? Was he getting frustrated less now because he knows to point for what he wants even if he doesn't have the words yet? Is he starting to repeat anything or use any signs? that he wasn't mid-summer? Etc.

20 months is so, so, so young. Most 20 year olds are not speaking in sentences or even phrases - there are lots of single words, and so many words can't be understood by anyone other than parents and primary caregivers (muk muk for milk, for example)

[Anonymous]

OP, my child has both receptive and expressive delays. He had no eye contact as a toddler. Now he's doing great with eye contact and its a non-issue. Watch it, but it is "normal" with language issues or it could mean something more like autism. At 20months, he very very young and its not a huge delay.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for your responses. The speech therapist was talking to me like she was holding something back and I couldn't get it out of her. She is super sweet but at times says things that get me very upset. Delays though are sensitive topics for all parents I am sure. It is good to read that I am not alone and that his eye contact and his speech can get better. Thank you again.

I've been playing peekaboo until I am blue in the face to work on eye contact. Are there any other games or exercises that you found really helped?

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if this is reassuring or not, because in my experience, severe ADHD is probably just as problematic as autism - but my kid with ADHD, but not ASD, has poor eye contact at times and it is common for ADD kids, as our speech and language delays. But your kid is not even 2. If the SLP is stressing you out - and I had one that did, too - find a new one.

[Anonymous]

He has an SLP from strong start DC that I don't love and then I just brought in a private one since strong start is so hesitant to add any extra speech. Even though his SLP said he would benefit although she has no time in her schedule to add an extra day for him. Another awesome gov't program! I am just praying that I can get him where he needs to be. His communication/ speech delay puts him at about a 9-10 month old.

[Anonymous]

My kid, honestly, did not get much out of speech until he turned two. It also really isn't that uncommon for kids not to talk until 2. What are the big concerns - not pointing, waving? If you think there is a big issue that hasn't been detected yet, or that is what you are worried about, I would go to a developmental pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

DS points to show me stuff but does not waive. If someone says hi he doesn't really even look at them. He is always running around and for example at the grocery store if someone smiles and says "hi baby" he doesn't always look and doesn't smile back much at all. He smiles anytime I come in the room and looks up at me but not with people walking down the street etc. He does turn around 85% of the time when I call his name.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that sounds that out of the range of normal, TBH. But you sound really worried, and a SLP can't really reassure you - they can't diagnose ASD, obviously. I have been there and I understand. I would make the appointment, waits are long, and you may not need it, but it will feel good to have it set.

[Anonymous]

Time and the speech coming in. I think its directly related to the receptive issues (or at least for us). When my chid got slightly more responsive we kept reminding him to look at us... Eventually it got more natural. When he was talking more, he turned it around on us and told us to look at him when we were not. At 20 months, depending on the severity of the delay, he may catch up in a year, or several years. My child did not really start till 4 and it took a few more years after that. If your child is a later talker, know they can still start talking even at 4-5.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP... very true. I have seen improvements since we started speech therapy 3 months ago and I knew it will only get better with time and therapy. I think just was so blown when the eye contact thing was mentioned. I never really thought about it and how it affects communication and speech. It seems so like it is never going to get better some times and it just made me so so sad. And then... I start googling which is horrible.

[Anonymous]

No one can diagnose your kid over the internet. See an actual developmental pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

No one comes to DCUM for a diagnosis. Just support and advice. OP wasn't here for a diagnosis.