Why do you (or your spouse) work so hard you never see your family? Do you have to?

[Anonymous]

I run a small business with about 12 employees and make about $300k+ per year. I work really hard to grow my business to make more, but I prevent myself from working 60+ hours a week by a) delegating and b) limiting what I do. I almost never work weekends and come home at 5, then work after my kids go to bed.

I read all the time on this board about people who never see their spouses because they are working all the time? What are they doing? Is it really necessary?
I mean Steve Jobs was home every night with his kids for dinner and so are Sheryl Sandberg and Susan Wojcicki. Obama goes on dates with his wife.

If you feel like you'd lose your job for working fewer hours could you imagine a way that your job could be reorganized so that it could be done in fewer hours, possibly by more people?

It just seems crazy to me that people really feel they are so essential all the time at work that there is nothing else. It seems more like people are just addicted to work

[Anonymous]

No kids so we mostly just see each other on weekends. Working hard is great because we have tons of money to have fun with on our off time.

[Anonymous]

I own my company, I work about 10-12 hours a day during the week and I'm done by 11 or 12 on Saturdays.
I work less during the winter as business slows down.

I would delegate more but I seem to attract people who develop Down's syndrome in their mid thirties.

I make around $270k and I earn every f-ing penny.

[Anonymous]

I.don't know anyone who makes your salary and doesnt work at least 55 hours in the office plus time.outside. in fact most people I know who approach 175k ish hit those hours. Fyi.

[Anonymous]

Dh works on Capitol Hill so there's at least a 1 hr commute each wayto add to the long hours. Of course he wants to see the kids more. What spouse doesnt???? But his job dictates the work must get done.The country doent "stop" just bc the clock says it's 6pm.

Op, I think you're more of an exception than the norm.

[Anonymous]

Time in office plus commuting adds up. There are only so many hours in a day, and I have to work, there is no way around it.

I don't go by what the Sheryl Sandbergs of the world publish in a book I'm sure that she works hard, but she's an effing billionaire and can call the shots regarding her schedule at this point.

[Anonymous]

When I worked in finance/banking, everyone worked late. When I had my first child, I woud try to get home as early as possible but would often miss his bedtime. I no longer work and stay home full time with my children.

DH is a surgeon and earns about 800k. He works late 3 days per week on surgery days but comes home around 530 on clinic days. We have lots of family time on weekends and vacation often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I run a small business with about 12 employees and make about $300k+ per year. I work really hard to grow my business to make more, but I prevent myself from working 60+ hours a week by a) delegating and b) limiting what I do. I almost never work weekends and come home at 5, then work after my kids go to bed.

I read all the time on this board about people who never see their spouses because they are working all the time? What are they doing? Is it really necessary?
I mean Steve Jobs was home every night with his kids for dinner and so are Sheryl Sandberg and Susan Wojcicki. Obama goes on dates with his wife.

If you feel like you'd lose your job for working fewer hours could you imagine a way that your job could be reorganized so that it could be done in fewer hours, possibly by more people?

It just seems crazy to me that people really feel they are so essential all the time at work that there is nothing else. It seems more like people are just addicted to work

I call bullshit on that, by the way. And even if it's true, the logon after dinner and work for another 5 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I worked in finance/banking, everyone worked late. When I had my first child, I woud try to get home as early as possible but would often miss his bedtime. I no longer work and stay home full time with my children.

DH is a surgeon and earns about 800k. He works late 3 days per week on surgery days but comes home around 530 on clinic days. We have lots of family time on weekends and vacation often.

Wow. That is a huge income. I don't know why I am so surprised.

[Anonymous]

I LIKE working. I don't really like kids. I only had them because I love my husband and he wanted them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I run a small business with about 12 employees and make about $300k+ per year. I work really hard to grow my business to make more, but I prevent myself from working 60+ hours a week by a) delegating and b) limiting what I do. I almost never work weekends and come home at 5, then work after my kids go to bed.

I read all the time on this board about people who never see their spouses because they are working all the time? What are they doing? Is it really necessary?
I mean Steve Jobs was home every night with his kids for dinner and so are Sheryl Sandberg and Susan Wojcicki. Obama goes on dates with his wife.

If you feel like you'd lose your job for working fewer hours could you imagine a way that your job could be reorganized so that it could be done in fewer hours, possibly by more people?

It just seems crazy to me that people really feel they are so essential all the time at work that there is nothing else. It seems more like people are just addicted to work

Not everyone can take on the risk of a small business (if the company fails, what would be your fallback plan? Do you have parents who depend on your income as well?). You make good money now but in the early days when you start with nothing, what would have happened? That is the lot for many people, they need immediate stability and can't afford the risk and reward of their own business. And once you are working for someone it can be really had to 'delegate' or limit your hours, especially to afford a good life in DC or a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I own my company, I work about 10-12 hours a day during the week and I'm done by 11 or 12 on Saturdays.
I work less during the winter as business slows down.

I would delegate more but I seem to attract people who develop Down's syndrome in their mid thirties.

I make around $270k and I earn every f-ing penny.

Wow, that is a really terrible thing to say. Please, try to be kind. The world needs more kindness and compassion.

[Anonymous]

I work from about 8:30-6 every day and maybe 4-8 hours one weekend a month. I'm an attorney and my hours are really light compared to most people I know in my field. I'd love to work less, but I'd have to find a new job. I'm not sure that I'd have many job options working fewer hours.

And BTW, I make considerably less than you do. I sacrificed partnership track so I could keep relatively sane hours. In an ideal world, I could quit and stay home, but that would require major sacrifices and put in position of financial insecurity.

[Anonymous]

How can I get a job like yours? I work reasonable hours but still dont see my kids nearly enough (about 2 hrs on weekdays). I think the reason most people work o hard is that their workplace culture puts a premium on the appearance of working hard. In order words they have bosses and collegues they have to front for. I am a professional writer (in government) -- there's no way I could work more than 9 hrs most days. My brain is fried, and in the end it's not productive. Also pple schedule way too mant meetings and then have to make up for the lost time.

[Anonymous]

You are the boss. You put boundaries on your time. But most people don't have that luxury. Most companies cut their people back so on a good week you have 50 hours of work to do. Then someone gets sick, so everyone picks up the slack. Or they win some business. Not enough to hire another person, but enough to add 5-10 hours/week to your plate.

People put in those hours because if they didn't, they'd get fired!