Am I Overreacting?

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are visiting for the week. Yesterday night, when we discussed about cooking, I asked them if I can make a particular dish for dinner and we all agreed. Few mins later, my mil checked the kitchen and said there are so many left overs. Rather we use those first, to which my DH agreed. She repeated the same thing at least 5 times by saying that good I checked the refrigerator. Its better to use the leftovers rather than cook new food. At first, I took it normally but after her repeating multiple times, I got annoyed but kept my patience.

I am still thinking about it. Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Could be lots going on. Maybe she is intensely frugal and doesn't want the food to go to waste. Maybe she doesn't like the dish you suggested and prefers the leftover meal. Neither is an indictment of you, so no need to take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be lots going on. Maybe she is intensely frugal and doesn't want the food to go to waste. Maybe she doesn't like the dish you suggested and prefers the leftover meal. Neither is an indictment of you, so no need to take it personally.

The MIL should mind her own busness.
Why did your dh have to agree with her?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like unused food makes her anxious. Lots of people feel anxiety about things like that.

Try not to let it bother you and try to be easy going about their foibles. No one is perfect!

[Anonymous]

My MIL talks about me to other people while I am in the room as if I am not. THAT is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she didn't want you to go to a lot of trouble since there were plenty of leftovers.

Sounds like she was being considerate of your time and not letting food go to waste.

I think you are overreacting.

[Anonymous]

My SIL does this and I have felt like you, OP. I enjoy preparing meals and leftovers always get eaten eventually. But SIL just can't stand tupperware in the fridge.

Let it go. Cook your dish tonight or tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Pat her on the back & tell her thanks. At a certain age, old people become like kids again. No different than your 2-year old announcing to everyone that she used the potty.

[Anonymous]

My mother repeats and repeats and repeats. She gets very insulted when I tell her she already said that, no matter how nice i say it. What does work is looking them in the eye and repeating back in full and complete sentences. "Thank you Jean for looking in the fridge and finding the leftovers. You are a saint. Lets make all of the leftovers to not waste food. We will now heat up the left overs. Lets not cook new food. Thank you so much."

[Anonymous]

Both my mother and MIL are insane about leftover food. Nothing should be thrown out if it can still be consumed to the point of cutting rotten parts off of fruit and vegetables and cutting the moldy parts off of cheese. I understand that there have been times when wasting any scrap of food meant you went without but isn't it wonderful we live in a world where we don't have to eat spoiled food?

[Anonymous]

MIL was fine to suggest it, but wrong to repeat over and over. That being said, simply move forward.

If this kind of thing comes up again, say, "Thanks, Jean, I heard you." Repeat as necessary.

[Anonymous]

Yes, completely overreacting. People do this when they get older. Just tune it out, or acknowledge that you heard her, thank her, and move on.

You'll be doing it too one day.

[Anonymous]

Is she getting forgetful in other areas? Is this the only time she's repeated herself? I'd take this as a warning sign of memory issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother repeats and repeats and repeats. She gets very insulted when I tell her she already said that, no matter how nice i say it. What does work is looking them in the eye and repeating back in full and complete sentences. "Thank you Jean for looking in the fridge and finding the leftovers. You are a saint. Lets make all of the leftovers to not waste food. We will now heat up the left overs. Lets not cook new food. Thank you so much."

Wow, you sound like a flaming asshole. If by "what works" you mean "your MIL will never speak to you again" you are probably correct, since no one would want to have a relationship with someone who was toxic enough to act this way.