Found out about sister's engagement by Facebook

[Anonymous]

I am so upset. She called me, but I couldn't answer because I was meeting with clients. I quickly checked email and Facebook, as I usually do during breaks, and found out via Facebook that she was now engaged.

I am really upset. I really want to let her know how much this upset me, but I'm thinking it might be best to keep my mouth shut. At least for now.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

She tried calling you to tell you herself and she couldn't reach you. She was ready to share her news with the world. Get over it.

You can tell her to get it off your chest, especially if you're going to be passive aggressive and distant if you don't, but you're in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

She tried to call you. I think you need to let this one go.

[Anonymous]

Keep your mouth shut. She called you. You just couldn't talk. You have no valid reason to be upset. Moreover, your sister is probably feeling hurt that you blew her off when she tried to tell you her big news. -- There are alway 2 sides to a story.

[Anonymous]

Her engagement is her news to share, not yours, so you don't get to dictate the order in which people are notified. She tried to call you, and she shouldn't have to sit around and wait for a call back from you before she can share her news further. Please don't make her engagement all about you, you'll alienate her and look like a jerk to everyone else.

[Anonymous]

She was excited to share her news with the world! Don't make this about you...

[Anonymous]

I understand your pain. I found out about an uncle's death on FB. It sucks. But at the same time, I agree with pp's about not saying anything. I don't think you'll gain anything by complaining. At least she did try to call you first, so take comfort in that. Some people just don't recognize the issue. Is she younger than you?

[Anonymous]

I would have been able to call her back in less than an hour.

I'm just really irritated. She didn't thank me for a nice care package I sent her last month, either.

[Anonymous]

She's younger than me by more than 10 years.

I'm just really sensitive to being left out since everyone else lives close together, and I'm all the way out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have been able to call her back in less than an hour.

I'm just really irritated. She didn't thank me for a nice care package I sent her last month, either.

Did she know that you would be able to call her back so soon?

It doesn't really matter tho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's younger than me by more than 10 years.

I'm just really sensitive to being left out since everyone else lives close together, and I'm all the way out here.

Well, there it is. Don't jeopardize your relationships because of your own insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's younger than me by more than 10 years.

I'm just really sensitive to being left out since everyone else lives close together, and I'm all the way out here.

I completely understand that, and it sucks. But it still doesn't mean you're justified in calling your sister out for not waiting until after she'd spoken to you.

In the big picture, though, does this really matter? Your sister tried to call you before posting it to the world, so clearly she prioritized telling you -- she didn't just post it and figure you'd find out with the rest of the world so she could skip the phone call. You now know she's engaged, however you found out, and hopefully you're happy for her. You can choose to either get bogged down in this one detail, or be happy for her and find ways to be involved despite the distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have been able to call her back in less than an hour.

I'm just really irritated. She didn't thank me for a nice care package I sent her last month, either.

Do you know for sure that she received it?

[Anonymous]

You are waaaay to sensitive. Are you like this about everything? Keeping score does nothing but give you wrinkles and early gray hair.

[Anonymous]

Don't be exhausting, OP. As your sister's life gets busier and she has more responsibilities, she is not going to be able to live up to your standards, and she'll just give up. Is that what you want?