Found out about sister's engagement by Facebook

[Anonymous]

Wow that's really amazing. You just made a milestone event in your sister's life, one that has nothing to do with you, entirely about you. That takes talent. Good job on being so self centered.

[Anonymous]

Sadly it seems that 95% of the repliers aren't close to their sisters. How unfortunate for them.

[Anonymous]

There are somethings you wait to speak to family first before posting online if you are not from a dysfunctional family.

1. Engagements/ Marriages

2. Births

3. Deaths

4. Health announcements ( I have cancer etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly it seems that 95% of the repliers aren't close to their sisters. How unfortunate for them.

Under your reasoning, we should all feel sorry for op, too. Nope--not going to do it. What mature person gets worked up about something like this. She tried. OP didn't take the call. Next thing op will be bitching about not being the first person told...It is childish.

[Anonymous]

Maybe, even though it only took you a minute or two, she would feel upset that you were on FB instead of calling her back. Sorry you found out that way, but for everyone's sake just chalk it up to unlucky timing and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly it seems that 95% of the repliers aren't close to their sisters. How unfortunate for them.

Under your reasoning, we should all feel sorry for op, too. Nope--not going to do it. What mature person gets worked up about something like this. She tried. OP didn't take the call. Next thing op will be bitching about not being the first person told...It is childish.

I'm OP, and I didn't post the 95% comment.

Also, don't put words in my mouth. I totally wouldn't expect to be the first person to know. Parents, her best friend, grandparents-- all people I would expect her to call before me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have been able to call her back in less than an hour.

I'm just really irritated. She didn't thank me for a nice care package I sent her last month, either.

Are you this high maintenance with everyone or just your sister? Geez.

How is wanting a phone call or quick one-line email or text high maintenance???

Are people really that shitty and unthoughtful to all their friends and family?

No it's true. The gift thing would bother me too. But the call is unreasonable.

+1

[Anonymous]

"Wah!!! My sister didn't announce her engagement like I wanted her to. How dare she think for herself! She should know exactly how I wanted her to do it. She should have read my mind and *knew* that I would be done with that call in an hour and she should have timed her re-dial perfectly. Why couldn't she just contain her excitement and do what I wanted and make me happy about her engagement? Who cares if she is happy - I need to be made happy about it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have been able to call her back in less than an hour.

I'm just really irritated. She didn't thank me for a nice care package I sent her last month, either.

Are you this high maintenance with everyone or just your sister? Geez.

How is wanting a phone call or quick one-line email or text high maintenance???

Are people really that shitty and unthoughtful to all their friends and family?

No it's true. The gift thing would bother me too. But the call is unreasonable.

Oh, please, even the most thoughtful people can occasionally be late with an thank you. OP's sister has probably known for awhile that she was getting engaged and has been busy looking through bridal magazines and venues in anticipation. Give her a break on this one and don't let your pettiness spoil her happiness.

Gimme a break, PP. Too busy looking at bridal magazines to express appreciation for a thoughtful gift?

But clearly she's wrapped up in herself right now. This will likely change as she lives more life. I would adjust your expectations and let it go. It sounds like you love her and want to be there for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are somethings you wait to speak to family first before posting online if you are not from a dysfunctional family.

1. Engagements/ Marriages

2. Births

3. Deaths

4. Health announcements ( I have cancer etc.)

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, even though it only took you a minute or two, she would feel upset that you were on FB instead of calling her back. Sorry you found out that way, but for everyone's sake just chalk it up to unlucky timing and let it go.

This is a good point. She called you, but you didn't pick up. So you decided to get on Facebook instead of returning her call? And you're the one who is upset?

[Anonymous]

Op make it all about you. I am sure everyone will think you are great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP.
I'm both an older and younger sister , and have at times lived far from family.
I know your pain.
I wouldn't say anything about because as you know with sisters everything turns into drama.
She'll grow up get a career and realize how real life works on her own.

For now just be excited for her and try to get actually dates and times for wedding related stuff you want to be a part of so you won't miss out.

Hugs.

Thanks. this made me feel better.

No problem. Just wanted you know in all the name calling in shaming that someone understood your POV.

NP here. I'm a middle sister to two sisters, too. I live a few hours away from everyone else in my family (who still live in my hometown).

I think you're being petty. If you can't be happy for your sister, and you need to hold on to this resentment that she didn't tell you first (despite her TRYING to), you need to go have a chat with a therapist. You're not the center of your sister's life, and you should know that.

I've very close to my sisters, probably because good news in their lives brings me genuine joy and I don't hold grudges about how it's delivered, and I don't have expectations that my sisters will preferentially tell me news first even when I'm busy and blow them off!

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed at her posting without a verbal announcement to the nuclear family. She could have waited a day until she spoke to everyone. But, I would have called her back before getting on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be annoyed at her posting without a verbal announcement to the nuclear family. She could have waited a day until she spoke to everyone. But, I would have called her back before getting on Facebook.

I had like, a two minute break. Not enough time for a phone call.