My Mother told me I was an accident.

[Anonymous]

I'm 13. My Parents own a Golf Course & Restaurant. In 2014, they did Dinners every Saturday. During one of them, my Mother was talking to one of her friends who showed up. I was on the other side of the room, but I still heard their conversation. Her friend asked if I was the youngest child, and my mother replied with, "Yes, he is my youngest. He was also not planned."
After her friend walked away back to her table, I walked over to my Mother and asked her if that was the truth, to which she replied, "You were an accident."
And then she just walked into the kitchen.

Mother never really seemed to care much about me. She'd always cared more about my siblings and my nieces and nephews.
Does my Mother hate me?

[Anonymous]

Crap! I posted in the wrong forum! Sorry!

[Anonymous]

I posted in the wrong Forum! Sorry guys?

[Anonymous]

OP, I was an accident too. So what? It doesn't mean you weren't loved and wanted. I don't know how old you are, but in a certain era (think: diaphragm) most babies were unexpected. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Your mother doesn't hate you. I can't remember the numbers, but pretty much most of us in this world are the result of unplanned pregnancies. And most mothers love their children nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

Unplanned pregnancy does not mean unwanted.

[Anonymous]

Consider yourself a happy accident - a welcomed surprise. For women of means who do not want to have another baby, there are many, many ways to avoid it or to end a pregnancy when it happens. Women do not have to carry and birth a child against their will. She wanted you.

[Anonymous]

Most babies are not planned, OP. It does not mean you are not loved or are loved less. I see that you are 13. At your age, most people feel a bit less wanted than their siblings. Don't believe that for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unplanned pregnancy does not mean unwanted.

+1

[Anonymous]

Planning a pregnancy is a pretty new trend.

[Anonymous]

50% of all pregnancies are unplanned. Just because a pregnancy is unplanned (or an "accident") doesn't mean the child was "unwanted". 30% of all pregnancies are "mistimed", i.e. the parents wanted another child but not at that time. (This is a subcategory of "unplanned". This means only half of all children are deliberately, intentionally conceived.

You are 13. Safe and affordable abortion is available everywhere in the US. If your mother found herself unexpectedly pregnant, she had the choice to get an abortion but she didn't. You may have been unintentionally conceived, but you were chosen and deliberately born just as much as any child who was intentionally conceived.

[Anonymous]

I was a big accident - mom had me at 19 - oops! I had major issues with this growing up, esp when I got to college and was the age my mom was when I was born. I let it hang me up for a long time, and now I understand that my mom had me because she wanted me, and that I was a blessing in her life.

[Anonymous]

OP, even if your mom wasn't intending to get pregnant, and conceiving you was "an accident", it has nothing to do with how much she loves you. I know several moms (including my sister-in-law) who conceived by accident and they love their kids like crazy. Sometimes the fact that the child was "an accident" makes them even more loved, because the parents think about all they would have been missing if that accident hadn't happened and they didn't have you!
I don't know you and I don't know your mom, but I'm pretty sure you are loved!

(and it's a little creepy to imagine 13 year olds reading these threads! Reading these might give you some weird ideas about life. You probably realize this, but people say all kinds of things they might not really mean when they can say it anonymously.)

Talking to your mom about it might be best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted in the wrong Forum! Sorry guys?

Accidents happen.

[Anonymous]

My husband's family is pretty open about the fact that the youngest kid was an oops baby. There is no question that he is loved completely. Unplanned =/= unwanted or unloved.