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Q for lesbian moms - what do your kids call you?
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Anonymous
| We are expecting #2, and I didn't meet my partner until my son was 5. He calls her by her first name, and I'm, of course, Mommy. We're trying to decide what #2 should call us -- my partner does not want to be called by her first name, and will understandably feel marginalized if I get to be Mommy and we have to come up with some alternative for her. She's Jewish, so we're thinking of using Ima (not sure of the spelling). What do your kids call you? Does Mommy and Mama work, or is that too confusing? Any ideas? |
Anonymous
| Who is the bio mother of #2? |
Anonymous
| I'm carrying the baby, but it's actually my partner's biological child (we did IVF). |
Anonymous
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We use Momma and Mommy. I have friends that do this as well. I also have friends who have used the Jewish word for mom (I don't know how to spell it either, so I'm not going to try). I've known people who use Mommy followed by the parent's first name for both.
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Anonymous
| I used to be a nanny for a lesbian couple and the children called them Mommy and Mama. No confusion. |
Anonymous
| Thanks much, this is very helpful! |
Anonymous
| One reason to go with Mommy and Eema: as your kids get older, both Mommy and Mama get shortened to Mom, or maybe Mom and Ma. Mom and Eema are more distinct, without sounding babyish. |
Anonymous
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Our dd calls us Mama and Mommy - we each get called by the name we called our own mothers. That's helpful because then there's no weird Oedipal stuff for me if I happen to refer to my partner as "Mommy" when speaking to our dd - or the other way around for my partner...
Our dd also figured out very shortly after learning to talk to say "Mom!!!!!!!" if she doesn't care who specifically comes to her aid 
Kids find all of this much more simple than adults, imho. |
Anonymous
| We are both Mommy. It hasn't been an issue for our kids. We know who they want when they call us. We figure they'll choose names for us when they want. |
Anonymous
| We use Mom and Mama - our 3 year old has no problem with it. |
Anonymous
Mazel Tov !!! The hebrew/yiddish words also work great for mothers, mommies, etc,... BTW - Our synagogue, Shaare Torah, in the Lakelands area of Gaithersburg is very gay & lesbian friendly & would love to have you & your family as members. |
Anonymous
| Mommie for her. Momma for you. Since you other son calls her by her first name, you might want to change that to something more endearing. It will likely cause all kinds of confusion, not between him, but between the new baby and your household. Since she is the bio mom of the new baby, let her get called whatever she calls her mother. So, if she uses momma, use that. If she uses mommy, use that. Kids work out all the names very early. Since you carried the baby, it might have a natural affinity toward you, even though the baby is biologically connected with your partner. If you give her the the choice of the name, it will probably help with bonding for everyone. If you do nothing, you can bet, the baby will start calling her what your son calls her and "hey lady or Mary" will create a lot of pain and anguish. |
Anonymous
| How about Mommy and Meema (like in DTWOF)? |
Anonymous
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I'm Mama and my partner is Mommy. Our 8 year old has recently started referring to Mommy as "Mom."
jean |
Anonymous
Although my girlfriends parents are not gay, she calls her mom "Meem". I just think that is an adorable name for a mom.  I am not sure what names my partner and I will use when we have kids because "Meem" is like her moms special name so she doesn't want to use it.
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