Officially give up on #2?

[Anonymous]

After years of trying we were able to conceive our daughter in 2012 after 3.5 rounds of IVF. Hers was the only egg that lived to be put back. I had all but given up hope. She was a miracle baby and is a bright and bubbly child. I was 37 when I delivered and although I'm certain I don't want to go through IVF again I had always hoped that by some further miracle we might conceive a sibling without IVF. My periods never came back regularly after we weaned. I have to take progesterone to make them come. I've been doing that for about a year. I'll be 40 in three months. The OB/Gyn just told me that I likely don't ovulate and if I want to have another child I have to see a reproductive endocrinologist again. I went back to the IVF office and it was as if all the depression and desperation of four years ago came rushing back the moment I stepped into the waiting room.

So I think my options are:

1. Give up on #2 get an IUD and be done with having my period
2. Keep taking progesterone and getting my period every month and holding out hope for #2
3. Do IVF or some other assisted reproductive tech

Am I missing something?

What would you do in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP.

I'm not sure your option 2 is really a viable option. Do you really want to spend the next several years of hot life in limbo while having TTC take attention away from your marriage and your child??? I wasn't able to handle that and we ultimately made the decision to go back to ART.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry OP.

I'm not sure your option 2 is really a viable option. Do you really want to spend the next several years of hot life in limbo while having TTC take attention away from your marriage and your child??? I wasn't able to handle that and we ultimately made the decision to go back to ART.

Yeah - I think I'd rather just get an IUD than do IVF again.

[Anonymous]

You didn't mention donor eggs. Would you consider that? if so your chances should be quite good, if you are otherwise healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't mention donor eggs. Would you consider that? if so your chances should be quite good, if you are otherwise healthy.

OP here. We don't have the $.

[Anonymous]

If you have the $ for IVF, you may have the $ for DE.

[Anonymous]

OP, here's something that I used to as a litmus test as I was struggling about how far to go to have a #2.

What feels worse and more unbearable - going through treatment or closing the door on having a second child?

[Anonymous]

I would do #1. I'm sorry OP. It's hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have the $ for IVF, you may have the $ for DE.

Insurance paid for IVF. It would not pay for donor egg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's something that I used to as a litmus test as I was struggling about how far to go to have a #2.

What feels worse and more unbearable - going through treatment or closing the door on having a second child?

OP here - going through treatment feels worse. I think I have my answer. We have an appointment with our IVF doctor from 4 years ago just to be sure we're making an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

What were the issues with the failed IVFs? I think the answer depends on what exactly your diagnosis was (if it's other than "unexplained").

Some people from another board I read (resolve) had success doing IVF elsewhere, e.g. Czech Republic where DE is a lot more affordable than in the US. Your body will only go through a FET equivalent, no stims.

But in the end, it's what you don't want more, just like other PPs said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were the issues with the failed IVFs? I think the answer depends on what exactly your diagnosis was (if it's other than "unexplained").

Some people from another board I read (resolve) had success doing IVF elsewhere, e.g. Czech Republic where DE is a lot more affordable than in the US. Your body will only go through a FET equivalent, no stims.

But in the end, it's what you don't want more, just like other PPs said.

OP here - poor egg quality. Poor response to stimulation. Irregular cycles. etc. No other diagnosis. Just never got a lot of eggs even when they pumped me full of hormones.

[Anonymous]

What about #1, but just go without birth control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about #1, but just go without birth control?

The doctor said I would get an unhealthy build-up of blood in my uterus. Before I went on progesterone I went four months with no period. Then I had period constantly for 8 weeks. I bled every day for 8 weeks straight!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I feel similarly. However, we are actively trying for 2 with donor egg. I had nothing left from first IVF 5 years ago. I have found the second time around to be easier. I am familiar with the process, to busy to care about the details and Google search everything, and basically just following the instructions. Also, mentally seems easier since we feel sooooo lucky to have number 1. If to works we won the lottery twice. We've had one failed tranfsfer so far. Logistics and care for current child are hard while i am in treatment. Otherwise, it is OK.