Baby Name Question, WWYD?

[Anonymous]

My father in law passed away a few months ago unexpectedly. DH and I have not been able to come up with a baby name for the son we are having in two weeks. I am very set on four names that I love. DH will not pick one. He also will not provide anything he likes.

I took a leap last night and said "Why don't we name baby your first name and use your dad's first name as the middle name". DH agreed to it but then told me we would use the middle name as the name we will call our son. I do not like the name. I want to honor my FIL but I do not want to call my son that name. It's kind of classic but nothing I like. The nickname would be Donnie/Donny. Just do not like it.

Should I let it go so my husband has the opportunity to honor his father, or should I stand my ground and not name the child something I really don't like as a first name. I do love my husband's first name, but DH does not want to call the baby by his name OR use FIL's name as a first name.

So, let it go and allow DH the name or force him to use something we both like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:force him to use something we both like?

Yes.

Do not name your child something that you don't like.

Maybe honor your FIL by using his initials? Or a name that is close to Donald (guessing that was FIL's name). Or a name that means the same thing as Donald.

[Anonymous]

Stand your ground. Don't name your child something you don't like.

[Anonymous]

It's a complicated situation, but it does seem reasonable to try to negotiate something a little different for the following reasons: 1. It can be tricky to go by a middle name. 2. It can be tricky to have two people in the same house with the same (official) first name. 3. You don't like your FIL's name for your son.

Could you suggest it as a middle name for one of your 4 choices?

Is there another version of the name (e.g. from another language) that would work?

Is there a possibility of using FIL's middle name in some way? Or another name that would represent him?

Could you come up with another nickname that you like better than Donny? (E.g. J.D. or D.J. or whatever)

In the end, though, I'm inclined to try to use your FIL's name in some way since that is important to your husband. He has lost his dad, and giving that name to his son--at least in some way--seems like an important link to him. Sometimes the meaning of a name can be much more important than the aesthetics of it.

[Anonymous]

I was also going to suggest using FIL's middle name...or perhaps there is a family name on his dad's side that would mean a lot (other than Donald)?

[Anonymous]

Wow, tough spot. If I was you I'd tell him that although you really want to honor his dad, you don't want to hurt any feelings on your side of the family by using that name as his name of reference. We actually have a strict no grandma/grandpa rule b/c of that very reason.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for the insight. FIL's name was Donald. Is it that bad? I just really don't like the name Donny/Donnie at all. I'm really torn, I want DH to be happy but I just cannot warm up to the name.

For the record Donald is the middle name we selected to use no matter what first name we chose. DH just wants to use his name now and call the baby Donny.

[Anonymous]

Does this make you warm up to it?

"From the Gaelic name Domhnall which means "ruler of the world", composed of the old Celtic elements dumno "world" and val "rule". This was the name of two 9th-century kings of the Scots and Picts. It has traditionally been very popular in Scotland, and during the 20th century it became common in the rest of the English-speaking world."

Also, ratings:

http://www.behindthename.com/rating/view.php?name=donald

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this make you warm up to it?

"From the Gaelic name Domhnall which means "ruler of the world", composed of the old Celtic elements dumno "world" and val "rule". This was the name of two 9th-century kings of the Scots and Picts. It has traditionally been very popular in Scotland, and during the 20th century it became common in the rest of the English-speaking world."

Also, ratings:

http://www.behindthename.com/rating/view.php?name=donald

Eh, not so much. Are there any other nicknames for Donald besides Donny/Don?

[Anonymous]

Don't call your child by his middle name. My parents called me by my first name my whole life, and it is a pain. Ask anyone who goes by their middle name and they will tell you it's a pain.

[Anonymous]

Oops, I meant to say my parents called me by my middles name my whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oops, I meant to say my parents called me by my middles name my whole life.

No worries I understood what you meant. My husband doesn't want to call the baby by his name, but he wants to use it as a first name so the child can decide later in life which name to use.

Why did your parents use your middle name?

[Anonymous]

The repeating names thing is tough. Here's an idea: What about giving your son your FIL's whole name? He technically would not be junior; he would be the second. So Donald __ [Smith], II. You then have options: make a name out of initials (DJ as one poster suggested as an example). Or call him by the middle name if you like it better. Or give him a nickname that has nothing to do with the name. We did this with our younger daughter. Nobody's confused, she knows her "real" name but everyone has always called her by the nickname. The nickname suits her perfectly and helps distinguish her from the 1400 other XYZs in the family. (Yes, my DH is southern; we have thirds and fourths and more repeating names than this Yankee can shake a stick at.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oops, I meant to say my parents called me by my middles name my whole life.

No worries I understood what you meant. My husband doesn't want to call the baby by his name, but he wants to use it as a first name so the child can decide later in life which name to use.

Why did your parents use your middle name?

They called me by my middle name because my first name was used to honor someone in the family but it is a name that is uncommon and hard to say in English. You probably won't be suprised then, to know that I don't believe in naming a child to honor someone. Pick a name both you and your husband like -- you're going to be saying the name over and over...trust me you don't want to give the baby a name you don't like. My DH and I named both of our kids first names that we both liked.

[Anonymous]

Or give him a nickname that has nothing to do with the name. We did this with our younger daughter. Nobody's confused, she knows her "real" name but everyone has always called her by the nickname. The nickname suits her perfectly and helps distinguish her from the 1400 other XYZs in the family. (Yes, my DH is southern; we have thirds and fourths and more repeating names than this Yankee can shake a stick at.)

I'm southern and we did the same thing -- used a family name for her first name and call her by a nickname to differentiate her from the million other SameFamilyNames in our family.