Don't want to invite certain people to Bat Mitzva
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Anonymous
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I know these " should we invite" threads are getting old, but please respond if you have suggestions.
Dd to have bat Mitzva next year and I don't want to invite siblings that we don't speak to. One of my sisters has not spoken to me voluntarily in 12 years. Clearly ignores me in social settings and never replies to email. My brother also acts the same. They probably don't like me because I am totally un cool, socially inept, and so on. I agree that I am not as cool as they are. Their behavior is hurtful and my kids don't get why they can't play with their cousins who live close by. I have five other siblings (who are also uncool) that I plan to invite, and some live overseas. So here is the question, does it look bad to invite people who live thousands of miles away and not invite the ones who live 5 miles away. |
Anonymous
| What is their relationship like with your DD? What does she want to do? |
Anonymous
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I'd wager that if there is a decades long set of estrangements, then its a far bigger picture than you being "not cool" or a social basketcase. And if that is really their reasoning, then they are clearly unstable people.
You might have to come to terms that something might 'look bad' but also be something that you should or reasonably can do. |
Anonymous
She does not know them. |
Anonymous
| It's your party - invite who you want. |
Anonymous
| Then don't invite them. Period. No need to increase the drama from the norm. Unless you are looking to repair relationships, don't invite and move on. |
Anonymous
| Will it cause more drama not to invite them? I wouldn't invite them if they would cause problems at event. If you think they would just not show, I would invite them and let them figure out what they are going to do. They sound horrible. |
Anonymous
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Wait, you aren't cool enough for your siblings? I thought the whole point of siblings was that you could be dorky and they still had to love you.
The only reason I would be ostracized by sibs is if they were abusive or damaging to me or my family somehow. I don't understand sibs that would ignore his or her dorky sister at a party. Not at our age, anyway. Maybe in high school. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't invite them and wouldn't think twice about it. Enjoy tha bat Mitzva!
Also why is the B in bat not capitalized and is there a difference between Mitzva and Mitzvah? Just wondering. |
Anonymous
| Don't invite the siblings and their families if they live 5 minutes away and haven't met your daughter. There is no reason to make this event a drama-filled family reunion. I was at a wedding where an estranged family member was invited and it resulted in other family members not speaking to each other for several months. |
Anonymous
OP is wrong. It should be mitzvah. |
Anonymous
| Why are you even worrying about this? Even if you send them an invite it's highly unlikely they will come. Based on what you've written they don't even know your daughter. |
Anonymous
OP here. You are correct and the b should have been capitalized |
Anonymous
I wasn't correcting you! I was just wondering, that's all. |
Anonymous
Actually, it is the OP's DD's party. Se should decide. |