Don't want to invite certain people to Bat Mitzva

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sure my rabbi and 90 yr old great aunt would say "invite them, it's a mitzvah. Let them decide if they want to come." If they were third cousins then no - but siblings are a different story.

So you invite them, they don't come - no harm, no foul. They come but are not warm and fuzzy - you go over and graciously say hello and thank you and show your DD that family is important- no matter how complicated. You don't invite them, the feud deepens.

The minute chance that there is drama - but it sounds unlikely from your original post - more like ignore or don't come.

Good luck.

i pretty much agree with this advice.
another couple things:
1) have these "cool" siblings invi ted you to any of their celebrations?
2) if their kids arent old enugh yet to have celebrated these milestones, do you think they would?
3) what would your parents want you to do?
4) know that if you dont invite them you are kind of setting a precedent, no imvitation to this sets the stage for future evebnts like eeddings and anniversaries, would you have regrets down the road?