Taking back someone after they dump you

[Anonymous]

Have you ever taken an SO back after they had dumped you for someone else? What if they came back? Would you take them back? Have you ever?

[Anonymous]

Run away. Don't take them back. It never works out.

[Anonymous]

Didn't dump me for someone else but yes, took him back. And wasted years with him. I ultimately broke up with him 2 years after taking him back. The same old issues came up, so in our case it was just dumb to try.

[Anonymous]

I've never taken someone back, but I did break up with someone, have him take me back and then break up with him a year later for the same reason I broke up with him originally. Most people don't break up with people willy-nilly (and if they do, that's reason to run right there), so it's good to question what's changed that made them change their mind other than missing the comfort of the relationship. It wasn't a conscious decision to string him along for that year, I went back to him because I missed him/the relationship, but in the end the issue that caused me to break up with him the first time was still there, we never really dealt with it, and it wasn't something I could just live with.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. Just don't. I have never seen it end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never taken someone back, but I did break up with someone, have him take me back and then break up with him a year later for the same reason I broke up with him originally. Most people don't break up with people willy-nilly (and if they do, that's reason to run right there), so it's good to question what's changed that made them change their mind other than missing the comfort of the relationship. It wasn't a conscious decision to string him along for that year, I went back to him because I missed him/the relationship, but in the end the issue that caused me to break up with him the first time was still there, we never really dealt with it, and it wasn't something I could just live with.

Oh, and should say that the final trigger for the initial break-up was that someone else had come into the picture. But if we didn't have the underlying issue, I don't think I would have broken up with my boyfriend for the other guy. After trying that out for a couple of weeks I realized the other guy wasn't someone I wanted to be with either, missed my ex, and ran back to that relationship without really thinking about it. In retrospect I can appreciate how poor my behavior was, but it truly wasn't a conscious thing at the time. I'm not saying that to try to absolve myself of blame, just to highlight that someone can seem really sincere in their desire to get back together, but that doesn't mean getting back together is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. Just don't. I have never seen it end well.

I would never do it. Once someone dumps me, they have lost their chance for any further communication.

[Anonymous]

Never.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

I value myself to never be a person's back-up plan. A Plan B. so to speak.

If someone wants to leave me, then fine, so be it. But don't expect me to be waiting in the wings, keeping my fingers crossed that you return to me.

If you end up taking the other person back, you are sending the message that you do not value yourself at all.

And that will enable the other person to not value you as well.

Everyone deserves much better in life.

[Anonymous]

I have just for the satisfaction of dumping them a few days later. Not proud, and would not do it again.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the break up circumstances. I've seen it work.

[Anonymous]

DH broke up with me about 5 months in. I was super into him and he was a little ambivalent. While we were broken up, he still called me 3-4 times a week. And we saw each other every other weekend. No physical stuff, just hung out at friends. After about 4-5 weeks, he realized how much he missed me and we got back together.

In this situation, it worked out. He didn't date anyone else. I was just a bit too intense and he didn't feel like he could say, hey could we not spend the weekend together. Once we got that out into the open, things worked out great. A less than a year later we were engaged.

But in other relationships, with other issues, getting back together was always a horrible idea. The main issues were never resolved. And we just played the revolving door of on-off-on-off and it went on for too long.

OP-why did you break up? How long have you been broken up? Why do you want to get back together?

[Anonymous]

Yes. We ended up getting married. I put him through his paces when he came back to me, though, and was very wary for a while.

Know another guy who did this, broke up after a year, then tried for 6 months to win her back, worked incredibly hard to do so. She finally took him back, they got engaged...and he dumped her a couple weeks before the wedding....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the break up circumstances. I've seen it work.

Looking at the stories here, seems like a real crap shoot. You just don't know. Can't tell.