Grass is always greener

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe this is happening. I met a women on online dating and she is like a model. We are about the same age (mid 30s) and have been dating for a about a month. She pretty much opened up to me on how hard it is for her to meet nice guys. She is literally being hit on even when I'm with her. The other thing is, and she admitted this, she is high maintenance. Especially when she was younger. Now she is trying to be more mature overall. I think I want to hit the eject button this relationship. My gut is telling me that down the road her high expectations might come into the equation again. Not sure if anyone has any experience with this scenario.

Now I have dated women that were attractive in the past, but they were not bombarded by constant attention everywhere. Not sure if this affects one's personality.

[Anonymous]

You're going to dump a woman you're attracted to because down the road maybe you will have problems?

[Anonymous]

She could be horribly disfigured in a car wreck tomorrow, OP. Try not to be a shallow worry wort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She could be horribly disfigured in a car wreck tomorrow, OP. Try not to be a shallow worry wort.

Shit, if that's gonna happen, you'd really better get out now.

[Anonymous]

run away. fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe this is happening. I met a women on online dating and she is like a model. We are about the same age (mid 30s) and have been dating for a about a month. She pretty much opened up to me on how hard it is for her to meet nice guys. She is literally being hit on even when I'm with her. The other thing is, and she admitted this, she is high maintenance. Especially when she was younger. Now she is trying to be more mature overall. I think I want to hit the eject button this relationship. My gut is telling me that down the road her high expectations might come into the equation again. Not sure if anyone has any experience with this scenario.

Now I have dated women that were attractive in the past, but they were not bombarded by constant attention everywhere. Not sure if this affects one's personality.

This advice will be counterintuitive but do it.

You need to treat this woman like absolute dog shit. She says she is looking for a "nice guy" but that's bullshit. She's testing you. Telling you she's high maintenance is just testing to see if you will be the "nice guy" who will put up with all her crap, but if you do so, she will lose all attraction for you.

Resist every impulse to be her white knight. Treat her roughly, demand sex and subservience from her, and she will fall in love with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe this is happening. I met a women on online dating and she is like a model. We are about the same age (mid 30s) and have been dating for a about a month. She pretty much opened up to me on how hard it is for her to meet nice guys. She is literally being hit on even when I'm with her. The other thing is, and she admitted this, she is high maintenance. Especially when she was younger. Now she is trying to be more mature overall. I think I want to hit the eject button this relationship. My gut is telling me that down the road her high expectations might come into the equation again. Not sure if anyone has any experience with this scenario.

Now I have dated women that were attractive in the past, but they were not bombarded by constant attention everywhere. Not sure if this affects one's personality.

This advice will be counterintuitive but do it.

You need to treat this woman like absolute dog shit. She says she is looking for a "nice guy" but that's bullshit. She's testing you. Telling you she's high maintenance is just testing to see if you will be the "nice guy" who will put up with all her crap, but if you do so, she will lose all attraction for you.

Resist every impulse to be her white knight. Treat her roughly, demand sex and subservience from her, and she will fall in love with you.

How old are you? This advice sounds like it's coming from a frat boy. OP, if your gut is telling you things aren't right, then it's ok to move on before you both grow more attached. However, I wouldn't make a determination based on what she says she is like. Her definition might of "high maintenance" might be different than yours. Maybe she has been "high maintenance" in the past but won't be with you. I'd let it play out to see if YOU think she is too "high maintenance."

[Anonymous]

1. Define her high expectations: emotional? physical? financial? commitment wise?

2. What are your expectations? What do you want out of this relationship? Do you want one with her? What do you like about her? What things/qualities do you have in common? Maybe you don't?

3. It sounds like men were literally trying to pick her up while you were on a date. Is this true or is it paranoia?

4. Are you actually having fun?

5. Remember that it's only been a month. You are free to bail if you want to do that. Even jobs have a 90 grace period before they need a cause to walk away. Deep down inside do you want to walk with her or walk onto someone else?

[Anonymous]

Does she need that attention? If you don't shower her with attention, does it bother her?

At some point, she won't be the prettiest girl in the room. If her self-worth is tied into her looks she will either 1) spend tons of money chasing her youth or 2) have affairs because she needs the outside attention.

[Anonymous]

Mid 30s? Why are you dating such an old woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe this is happening. I met a women on online dating and she is like a model. We are about the same age (mid 30s) and have been dating for a about a month. She pretty much opened up to me on how hard it is for her to meet nice guys. She is literally being hit on even when I'm with her. The other thing is, and she admitted this, she is high maintenance. Especially when she was younger. Now she is trying to be more mature overall. I think I want to hit the eject button this relationship. My gut is telling me that down the road her high expectations might come into the equation again. Not sure if anyone has any experience with this scenario.

Now I have dated women that were attractive in the past, but they were not bombarded by constant attention everywhere. Not sure if this affects one's personality.

This advice will be counterintuitive but do it.

You need to treat this woman like absolute dog shit. She says she is looking for a "nice guy" but that's bullshit. She's testing you. Telling you she's high maintenance is just testing to see if you will be the "nice guy" who will put up with all her crap, but if you do so, she will lose all attraction for you.

Resist every impulse to be her white knight. Treat her roughly, demand sex and subservience from her, and she will fall in love with you.

There's a nugget of truth in this. Perhaps an infinitismally small nugget, but still a nugget.

Here's the real test - can you still be confident and lead this relationship, in spite of all the attention she gets from other guys? If so, you've won her heart. At a certain point, you'll need to show that none of this crap fazes you because you're secure in your yourself and you know that this girl is your's. She wants to be your center of attention and you need to be "man enough" to show that to her. But still, be tough and don't tolerate any bratty behavior from her.

[Anonymous]

Holy shit, is this how men really think? "Treat her roughly"? "Don't tolerate any bratty behavior from her"?

OP, don't listen to these idiots. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Op be yourself. If it works great. If it's too much work move on.

[Anonymous]

I have a female friend who is extremely beautiful, with a good body and big boobs. (and pretty blonde hair.) She gets hit on every time she goes anywhere. She has a hard time dating because in her case, she's kind of immature and has a hard time staying interested in any guy for any length of time. She's always thinking "what if" about the other guys that are hitting on her.

If you're dating a woman like that, your instinct is probably correct. If the woman you're dating is simply just very attractive and getting hit on a lot, you should stick around and see how it goes. If she recognizes that she can be high maintenance, that's the first step in her maybe breaking out of that pattern. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

She's warned you she's high maintenance. Listen when people tell you who they are. She sounds like she'll be a headache. Choose a plainer woman who will appreciate your attention, rather than someone who's showered with the attentions of others.