If you were sexually abused...

[Anonymous]

Did you tell anyone? What happened?

I was sexually abused by a relative growing up and only recently disclosed this information to a couple of family members (an aunt and a cousin). Not sure how to proceed. Am interested in hearing how others have dealt with this.

[Anonymous]

Yes when I was 11 by a 16 year old male family friend who I had a crush on. Didn't realize it was wrong at the time because I had a crush on him and didn't really get him saying "if yOu don't do X then I'll never speak to you again" or "if you don't do Y, I'll tell my parents that you are a creep and o don't want to hang around your family anymore. And then your parents will be mad and hate you because you ruined their friendship" was wrong. And when he raped me, he'd say stuff like "well you like me so this Is what you want. I'm just giving you what YOU want". When I was 17 I realized how messed up the situation was when we went over inappropriate relations. I ended up telling my best friend, who even at 11 knew something haD been going on.

I didn't want to tell my family. They would have been devastated and felt a tremendous amount of guilt. For awhile I was promiscuous because I thought that was the only way I could get a guy. Then I got therapy and happy to say I'm very happily maRried. My best friend is still the only person who knows everything.dh knows that when I was younger I was involved in a bad relationship but I never felt the desire to tell him Details.

As for the guy...last thing I knew he was in and out of prison for various drug Related charges

Sorry for typos. Still half asleep

[DS63]

I was 10, but put in a camp cabin with 12 yo's. They made me perform oral sex on them. never told anyone until I was in my mid 20's talking to a counselor.

[Anonymous]

I was 7, abused by my teenage male cousin. Both my sister and I were abused by him.

We shared this information with each other only. Then when I was in my mid 30s I decided to tell my mom. Its her nephew from her older sister. I didnt tell her when it happened because I felt shame yet I felt like I was also to blame. that's so messed up, I know.

My mother begged me to never tell my dad as he would probably, literally have the guy killed (insert "mafia" here). And my dad is about as docile as you can get.

Anyhow this douche-bag lives in another country. And probably has a pretty fucking miserable life.

I am totally okay mentally etc. Married, two kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm 40. I've told DH and a therapist. Not my mom or sister. My dad's gone, but I never told him because I knew he'd kill the guy, and I didn't want my dad going to jail.
No really planning on telling anyone else.

[Anonymous]

DS63 wrote:I was 10, but put in a camp cabin with 12 yo's. They made me perform oral sex on them. never told anyone until I was in my mid 20's talking to a counselor.

Are you male or female?

[Anonymous]

I can't remember my exact age it went on for about a year or so. I'm guessing I was 6 or 7. Parent's friend's kid. He was probably around 14.

I've never told anyone (except here now).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DS63 wrote:I was 10, but put in a camp cabin with 12 yo's. They made me perform oral sex on them. never told anyone until I was in my mid 20's talking to a counselor.

Are you male or female?

m

[Anonymous]

I was probably 7-8, it went on for probably a year, by my babysitter's boyfriend. I told my best friend at the time and that was it. Many years later I admitted it to my now-fiancé and my therapist. I suspect he abused my sister too which is almost too unspeakable to say out loud. It's a cloak of guilt I live under. I never told me family because they would be devastated and my dad definitely would have killed the guy, who was a scumbag and deserved it, but my dad would have gone to prison.

Ironically, the other day I had a memory trigger and realized I was drugged and raped about 8 years ago, as an adult. I've been mulling starting a thread over this to see if anyone else has had something like this happen and get advice about moving forward.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for your responses. I don't know how to move forward myself, as I was abused by a member of my immediate family. Who to tell, who not to tell, how to proceed generally.

I'm sorry to everyone who's been through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was probably 7-8, it went on for probably a year, by my babysitter's boyfriend. I told my best friend at the time and that was it. Many years later I admitted it to my now-fiancé and my therapist. I suspect he abused my sister too which is almost too unspeakable to say out loud. It's a cloak of guilt I live under. I never told me family because they would be devastated and my dad definitely would have killed the guy, who was a scumbag and deserved it, but my dad would have gone to prison.

Ironically, the other day I had a memory trigger and realized I was drugged and raped about 8 years ago, as an adult. I've been mulling starting a thread over this to see if anyone else has had something like this happen and get advice about moving forward.

Wow, that's intense. Was it a date rape? How did you suddenly realize you were drugged? The few days after it happened, did you just think it was a "normal" night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

DS63 wrote:I was 10, but put in a camp cabin with 12 yo's. They made me perform oral sex on them. never told anyone until I was in my mid 20's talking to a counselor.

Are you male or female?

m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DS63 wrote:I was 10, but put in a camp cabin with 12 yo's. They made me perform oral sex on them. never told anyone until I was in my mid 20's talking to a counselor.

Are you male or female?

m

That's awful. I'm sorry. You don't hear about this often, but I bet it's pretty common.

[Anonymous]

Mine started when I was about 5 and lasted a year. He was an old man, friends with my parents. In high school I used to fantasize about killing him, but unfortunately Mother Nature got him first. I'm angry I never got revenge on him because he ruined my life.

I told my older sister and an aunt when I was older, and the many therapists I have had over the years.

You never get over it. You just learn to live with the pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine started when I was about 5 and lasted a year. He was an old man, friends with my parents. In high school I used to fantasize about killing him, but unfortunately Mother Nature got him first. I'm angry I never got revenge on him because he ruined my life.

I told my older sister and an aunt when I was older, and the many therapists I have had over the years.

You never get over it. You just learn to live with the pain.

I still fantasize about killing the guy who molested me.