Where you pissed off when you found out your DC was special Ed

[Anonymous]

My friend has a DS who is 4 year old.

She taking him off Pre school because the teacher told him his son was special Ed. Because he had some learning issues. Did you get pissed off when you learned that about your DS? I don't know I don't have any kids but I am special Ed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend has a DS who is 4 year old.

She taking him off Pre school because the teacher told him his son was special Ed. Because he had some learning issues. Did you get pissed off when you learned that about your DS? I don't know I don't have any kids but I am special Ed

A+ trolling.

[Anonymous]

Just in case this is not an internet troll, but an actual person trying to figure out how his or her parents felt when they got the diagnosis --

No, I was not angry at all. Scared, definitely. Sad, a little. I was worried about my kid, and had a lot of questions about what this would mean for him and what we could do to help him. Then I went and read a ton of stuff about his issues, and after six months or so started to get angry. But not about his diagnosis. About how crappy our society is to people who are even a little bit different than everyone else. About the fact that lots of people won't see how incredibly fantastic my son is because of his "disability," when at least 70% of what makes it a "disability" as opposed to just a difference is just that people tend to socially shun folks that act differently. I have gotten angrier and angrier about that over time. But I have never been angry or sad or anything else negative about having my kid. He is the most interesting, and most loving, person I know. Don't f'ing get me started about how much I love that kid. That's how parents feel.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

im not a troll. she is pissed off at the teacher, because she said her son is very very smart........

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im not a troll. she is pissed off at the teacher, because she said her son is very very smart........

A student can be both very very smart and be in special education.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. She sounds ignorant about what it means to be in special ed if she thinks it means automatically that someone is not smart.

[Anonymous]

First, special ed is not something that a person *is*; it is an educational program that someone is in.

Second, being in special ed does not suggest anything about someone's intelligence.

Third, when DC's teachers first suggested that DC might be having issues for which we might want to seek testing/diagnosis/additional help, I was really happy that someone else was noticing the subtle (and not so subtle) things that I noticed and that they weren't giving up on DC as being "bad."

[Anonymous]

Stephen Hawking is "special ed."
Albert Einstein is "special ed."

[Anonymous]

Curious whether any parents ever had a "mad at the world" moment though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious whether any parents ever had a "mad at the world" moment though.

Many parents on this board are fighting for IEPs.

I don't think you even understand the forest for the trees. You seem to visualize "Special Ed" as some sort of separate classroom where the "retards" go. (pardon my usage of that term, but that seems to be the point of this thread).

Special ed simply doesn't work like that. Special ed students are in the "regular" classroom. My daughter is disabled and in "special ed" and it's a matter of her education -- her individual education -- not a separate classroom.

Yes, I had a mad at the world moment -- when we discovered she was disabled. Special ed is what helps her. Why would I be mad at special ed?

[Anonymous]

I work really hard for my special Ed child. It's a thankless, unpaid, exhausting role, but I own it. I grieve which is a normal response. I have stress related illnesses. I see pics of myself before diagnosis (emotional and medical special needs) and I literally look like another person. I was a different person. I'm more somber now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:im not a troll. she is pissed off at the teacher, because she said her son is very very smart........

A student can be both very very smart and be in special education.

Hopefully, she'll get over the anger and move to the acceptance phase. A lot of parents react that way (even after they accept services). Everyone's different. Hopefully if her kid needs some services, he'll get them. He may not need these things forever either. They may be short term to help him catch up on certain skills.

[Anonymous]

OP- special education does not have the stigma that it used to.
No, I was not "mad at the world" when I discovered my child needed help -- because I already suspected that he did.

Parents are typically the first to pick up on their child's challenges-- maybe they move into action mode, worry silently, or go into denial. I did all three when my son was young-- at different stages. When he was finally evaluated, I discovered that "yes" it was not my imagination that he was not developing in a neurotypical way and "no" it's not the end of the world and there are many, many things that we can do to help him.

[Anonymous]

Goodness I hope this is a troll.

If it is not, then Yes, I was truly mad at the world. I was not mad at the teachers or anyone who mentioned his needs. I was mad that my child had to face such an uphill battle that most children do not.

Your friend may be grieving.. You don't mention what special needs the child has or is suspected of having other than "learning issues". That is such a wide range of issues but give your friend some time. Most of all support her and let her know that you are there for her and her child.