DD upset that hasn't talked with K teacher yet - is this normal?

[Anonymous]

DD says that she has never had 1-on-1 time with her K teacher, and except for the teacher welcoming each student with a "good morning," has never talked with just her teacher since school began. It upsets DD, but when I suggest talking to the teacher at this or that time in the day, DD says she can't because they do everything all together as a class.

Is this typical? Is it just because of the start of the year? DD is well behaved, and mentioned today that the only kids that get the teacher's direct attention are the ones who misbehave, so she think she should misbehave, too, to get attention.

While I realize there are 21 other kids in the class, it seems that the teacher would work with the kids in small groups sometimes, so she could talk with each child. Am I off-base here? Still trying to figure it all out, since this is my first in the school system.

[Anonymous]

I...find this a little hard to believe. I mean, I totally believe that your DD hasn't had one-on-one time with the teacher for a lesson, but it just seems impossible that the teacher hasn't asked her how her weekend went, or whether she liked the book she got from the library.

5 year-olds are unreliable narrators, in other words.

[Anonymous]

How many parent volunteers are in the class each day ? How many teachers ? During K we had 2 teachers and 1 floating teacher and 1-2 volunteers for 1.5 hour increments twice a day. This helped significantly in giving each child 1 on 1 time when upwards of 5 adults were with the 25 kids.

Maybe volunteer or try and set up a volunteer system if your class doesn't have a list yet. We were sent a schedule each month and most volunteered a few times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I...find this a little hard to believe. I mean, I totally believe that your DD hasn't had one-on-one time with the teacher for a lesson, but it just seems impossible that the teacher hasn't asked her how her weekend went, or whether she liked the book she got from the library.

5 year-olds are unreliable narrators, in other words.

Yes. Do not assume your 5-year-old is portraying the situation correctly. Also, what is her expectation. Does she want to have an extended conversation with her teacher? That's not going to happen. Nor does it need to.

[Anonymous]

Apart from a question and answer type exchange, a whole heartfelt conversation is not going to happen. I hope your DD understands this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I...find this a little hard to believe. I mean, I totally believe that your DD hasn't had one-on-one time with the teacher for a lesson, but it just seems impossible that the teacher hasn't asked her how her weekend went, or whether she liked the book she got from the library.

5 year-olds are unreliable narrators, in other words.

I agree. And, FWIW, I know my third grader hasn't had any one-on-one time with the teacher because the teacher told me. We were discussing a lesson that my DD initially had trouble with and it came out in that discussion. Actually makes sense though because my DD rarely struggles with anything. Now, when my son was in K, he had regular one-to-one lessons with a paraeducator (which I didn't know until 3/4 of the way through the school year when we ran into her at Costco and she told me). But, he struggled with everything back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD says that she has never had 1-on-1 time with her K teacher, and except for the teacher welcoming each student with a "good morning," has never talked with just her teacher since school began. It upsets DD, but when I suggest talking to the teacher at this or that time in the day, DD says she can't because they do everything all together as a class.

Is this typical? Is it just because of the start of the year? DD is well behaved, and mentioned today that the only kids that get the teacher's direct attention are the ones who misbehave, so she think she should misbehave, too, to get attention.

While I realize there are 21 other kids in the class, it seems that the teacher would work with the kids in small groups sometimes, so she could talk with each child. Am I off-base here? Still trying to figure it all out, since this is my first in the school system.

She sees the teacher spending more time addressing misbehaviors and craves that same attention. Remember, developmentally children that age are completely self-centered. Also if her pre-K teacher favored her she is trying to find her place in the new dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same OP who posted a little while ago about your DD being upset because the teacher was only paying attention to the good readers?

It would be perfectly normal for her not to have had any 1:1 time. At many schools small groups are just beginning for K so she will get more attention during those sessions but this is the reality of public school. Consider yourself lucky she's doing fine and let it go.

[Anonymous]

If you have a quiet, well-behaved, academically above grade level kid it is can be absolutely true. My oldest has rarely gotten one to one time with the teacher and he is now in third grade.
My youngest is in first grade and can be loud, active, test boundaries, will sometimes do sloppy work, and likes to be the class clown. He gets plenty of one on one time with teachers who talk to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that she has never had 1-on-1 time with her K teacher, and except for the teacher welcoming each student with a "good morning," has never talked with just her teacher since school began. It upsets DD, but when I suggest talking to the teacher at this or that time in the day, DD says she can't because they do everything all together as a class.

Is this typical? Is it just because of the start of the year? DD is well behaved, and mentioned today that the only kids that get the teacher's direct attention are the ones who misbehave, so she think she should misbehave, too, to get attention.

While I realize there are 21 other kids in the class, it seems that the teacher would work with the kids in small groups sometimes, so she could talk with each child. Am I off-base here? Still trying to figure it all out, since this is my first in the school system.

She sees the teacher spending more time addressing misbehaviors and craves that same attention. Remember, developmentally children that age are completely self-centered. Also if her pre-K teacher favored her she is trying to find her place in the new dynamic.

That sounds pretty reasonable to me. (and logical)

[Anonymous]

OP here - Good to hear small groups are still being formed. DD does crave the attention, I'm sure. She gets lots at home and her preschool classes were much smaller, so she got more attention there, too. I just don't want her to start misbehaving to get attention and/or think the teacher doesn't like her.

I wasn't the other poster who wrote about the teacher only paying attention to good readers.

[Anonymous]

Seems a little strange that this is bothering her. What is she thinking she needs to talk to the teacher about? During reading groups teachers talk to each kid about their reading. And there is one on one time during reading testing.

As someone else said, you can depend on your young kids account of things.

Also be glad you don't have one of those horrible mis-behaved kids. Some of them are struggling for a reason (learning disability/ADHD/etc) cut them and the teacher some slack.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal. Agree with PP surprised that she's bothered by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD says that she has never had 1-on-1 time with her K teacher, and except for the teacher welcoming each student with a "good morning," has never talked with just her teacher since school began. It upsets DD, but when I suggest talking to the teacher at this or that time in the day, DD says she can't because they do everything all together as a class.

Is this typical? Is it just because of the start of the year? DD is well behaved, and mentioned today that the only kids that get the teacher's direct attention are the ones who misbehave, so she think she should misbehave, too, to get attention.

While I realize there are 21 other kids in the class, it seems that the teacher would work with the kids in small groups sometimes, so she could talk with each child. Am I off-base here? Still trying to figure it all out, since this is my first in the school system.

You child will be assessed multiple times in a 1-1 setting.

And your child is getting time with the teacher in leveled groups for reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - Good to hear small groups are still being formed. DD does crave the attention, I'm sure. She gets lots at home and her preschool classes were much smaller, so she got more attention there, too. I just don't want her to start misbehaving to get attention and/or think the teacher doesn't like her.

I wasn't the other poster who wrote about the teacher only paying attention to good readers.

Keep giving her attention at home and encourage her to talk about what she's learning and focus on that rather than her interactions with the teacher. It's unfortunate, but really well-behaved, independent, quiet children will get ignored in class. You could even explain that to her and hopefully she'll move past this. I would emphasize that it has nothing to do with the teacher disliking her.