How can I make this situation look better?

[Anonymous]

Not better maybe, but more accurate, for sure.

Due to some medical expenses, DH and I aren't doing amazingly well financially. Actually, we're finally rebuilding our savings. Two months ago though, my parents generously paid for emergency surgery for our dog, and we were very grateful.

When I looked at the calendar today though, I realized we are going on vacation in two weeks. I feel awful about this, even though the 90% - hotel and airfare - is being paid for with miles that DH earned through business travel. Only DD's plane ticket was paid for with cash. It's hardly luxurious, but we planned it about six months ago at a very low point, then forgot about it.

I know how bad it looks to go on vacation when my parents just gave us a lot of money, and I also know I probably can't hide the vacation from my parents since we talk regularly. They'd notice if I dropped off the face of the earth for a week, you know?

What do I do? I'd cancel in a heartbeat, but I hate to waste the money (a few hundred) that we already spent on DD's plane ticket.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you tell them you paid for most of it with points/miles?

[Anonymous]

Can't you just tell them the truth? That you're worried about what they'll think but most of it was paid for with miles and it was all planned a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

I'm not really sure how to bring it up, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

I think you owe it to your parents to have something approaching an honest discussion with them. Like, "Hey, I forgot to mention we're going to be in Paris all next week. We were lucky to be able to use miles to pay for the hotel and flights, but wanted to let you know we'd be out of town."

[Anonymous]

Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

[Anonymous]

I think the separate question is whether you can afford this trip. Yes, the miles and hotel are paid for, but what about meals out, attractions, and all the other little costs that add up on vacation?

[Anonymous]

Who is watching the dog while you're gone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

Thanks, I will probably do this - although to clarify, they offered, we never would have asked.

I think I would feel better if it was a loan, though - it was a gift. Maybe I will offer to pay them back, as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the separate question is whether you can afford this trip. Yes, the miles and hotel are paid for, but what about meals out, attractions, and all the other little costs that add up on vacation?

We can afford $500. We can't afford $3500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not really sure how to bring it up, to be honest.

Well, we can't help you with that. You have your advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not really sure how to bring it up, to be honest.

Well, we can't help you with that. You have your advice.

That's funny, because other people did.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with them? If so, I think you stop worrying about it and tell them flat out. No hedging, that will just make you sound like you're lying.

Hey mom and dad, thanks again so much for helping with Fido. He's really back to his old self and it's such a relief. With all the worry about his health, I completely forgot to tell you that we're going to be out of town in two weeks. We realized a few months ago that DH had enough ff miles and hotel points to cover a trip to Vacation Spot and we wanted to use them to take DD on vacation since we've cut back on so many other things to rebuild our finances. I hope you understand that this is basically a free trip for us, so we couldn't cancel it to pay for Fido's surgery. We're still doing our best to make sure we'll never need you to bail us out again.

[Anonymous]

You got some good advice and it was really nice of them to pay for dog surgery. In our family he would have been humanely euthanized but I'm not judging that. I just wanted to concur with the others to make sure your parents know it was basically a free trip and you might want to have a list of free/nearly free activities handy in case they ask what you're going to do. Camping, beachcombing, national parks might be received more favorably than Disney and Epcot for example. My family isn't very close so in my case I'd be tempted not to mention it and make sure nothing is on facebook etc. But we don't talk regularly by phone and you can send an email from anywhere.