How can I make this situation look better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got some good advice and it was really nice of them to pay for dog surgery. In our family he would have been humanely euthanized but I'm not judging that. I just wanted to concur with the others to make sure your parents know it was basically a free trip and you might want to have a list of free/nearly free activities handy in case they ask what you're going to do. Camping, beachcombing, national parks might be received more favorably than Disney and Epcot for example. My family isn't very close so in my case I'd be tempted not to mention it and make sure nothing is on facebook etc. But we don't talk regularly by phone and you can send an email from anywhere.

This is actually a national park/hiking trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got some good advice and it was really nice of them to pay for dog surgery. In our family he would have been humanely euthanized but I'm not judging that. I just wanted to concur with the others to make sure your parents know it was basically a free trip and you might want to have a list of free/nearly free activities handy in case they ask what you're going to do. Camping, beachcombing, national parks might be received more favorably than Disney and Epcot for example. My family isn't very close so in my case I'd be tempted not to mention it and make sure nothing is on facebook etc. But we don't talk regularly by phone and you can send an email from anywhere.

This is actually a national park/hiking trip.

I'd use everyone else's advice about explaining you had the miles for it and tell them what you'll be doing as well. I remember going on 10 day long coastal beach trips that were really me and my boyfriend camping at various state and national parks. My parents (I was a poor college student) thought we were spending $200/night on resorts. Once they knew it was more like $20/night and quite a different experience, they were happy for me and not Judgemental. A hiking/national park trip is a great opportunity for DD to see the country in a new way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got some good advice and it was really nice of them to pay for dog surgery. In our family he would have been humanely euthanized but I'm not judging that. I just wanted to concur with the others to make sure your parents know it was basically a free trip and you might want to have a list of free/nearly free activities handy in case they ask what you're going to do. Camping, beachcombing, national parks might be received more favorably than Disney and Epcot for example. My family isn't very close so in my case I'd be tempted not to mention it and make sure nothing is on facebook etc. But we don't talk regularly by phone and you can send an email from anywhere.

Maybe if your family were closer you might not treat your pets as burdens, but hey, I'm not judging that.

[Anonymous]

Op, take your post and write it in a note to them. Why should strangers get to know your heart and not them? The language in your post is good, just the way it is. You could really use all of it. I'm sure a heart-felt acknowledgment - to just admit that you have thought about this, would be a lovely gesture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

This

You know WELL beyond six months if you are having financial issues. Living month to month IS having a financial problem. They could gift the trip to the parents. That's what they should do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got some good advice and it was really nice of them to pay for dog surgery. In our family he would have been humanely euthanized but I'm not judging that. I just wanted to concur with the others to make sure your parents know it was basically a free trip and you might want to have a list of free/nearly free activities handy in case they ask what you're going to do. Camping, beachcombing, national parks might be received more favorably than Disney and Epcot for example. My family isn't very close so in my case I'd be tempted not to mention it and make sure nothing is on facebook etc. But we don't talk regularly by phone and you can send an email from anywhere.

Maybe if your family were closer you might not treat your pets as burdens, but hey, I'm not judging that.

You're right. Only close families spend thousands of dollars to keep a sick pet alive and in pain when every year literally millions of otherwise healthy pets are euthanized for no other reason than they're homeless. But hey, as long as your family is close, it's all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

This

You know WELL beyond six months if you are having financial issues. Living month to month IS having a financial problem. They could gift the trip to the parents. That's what they should do.

We're not living month to month and yes, we knew six months ago that things were tight. That's why we're doing a vacation for under $500 instead of $5000. PP's specifics might have been a little off (a lot off, really), but their wording was really good.

Also, just to clarify another PP's comment, we're not prolonging a dying animal's life (he's fine now) and he and the rest of our pets are rescue animals. We do what we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

This

You know WELL beyond six months if you are having financial issues. Living month to month IS having a financial problem. They could gift the trip to the parents. That's what they should do.

We're not living month to month and yes, we knew six months ago that things were tight. That's why we're doing a vacation for under $500 instead of $5000. PP's specifics might have been a little off (a lot off, really), but their wording was really good.

Also, just to clarify another PP's comment, we're not prolonging a dying animal's life (he's fine now) and he and the rest of our pets are rescue animals. We do what we can.

If money is that tight, pets are clearly a luxury that you can't afford right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them. "Dad, I wanted to be upfront with you about this. Remember how we weren't doing well and you lent us money for Rover's surgery? Rover's doing better and we appreciate that so much. Thank you again for that. Today I looked at the calendar and realized that six MONTHS ago, before we were having any financial problems, we used DH's miles and points and booked a family vacation to Florida for two weeks ago. It was all set up and forgotten about. I feel funny going on a trip after needing to borrow money, but it was paid for with miles, rather than cash. I just didn't want you to think we asked you for money and then spent it on a vacation."

This

You know WELL beyond six months if you are having financial issues. Living month to month IS having a financial problem. They could gift the trip to the parents. That's what they should do.

We're not living month to month and yes, we knew six months ago that things were tight. That's why we're doing a vacation for under $500 instead of $5000. PP's specifics might have been a little off (a lot off, really), but their wording was really good.

Also, just to clarify another PP's comment, we're not prolonging a dying animal's life (he's fine now) and he and the rest of our pets are rescue animals. We do what we can.

If money is that tight, pets are clearly a luxury that you can't afford right now

I have no idea where you keep coming up with the idea that money is tight. Money isn't tight anymore, it's just going into savings. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't read my initial post.

Or perhaps you just dislike "poor" people?