Our version of "mean tweets" share some mean comments you received about your child or your parentin

[Anonymous]

Here's a few to get us started. Please share yours.

"He is not blah blah preschool material. Please don't try to sneak into the system by applying another year. If you even think of applying, we need to have a team observe him."
My child was less than 2 years old that time-didn't bite or hit, but MAN he hated that place.

"What is wrong with him?"
From uppity mom at Blah Blah preschool. The good news is he was welcomed and loved at Rah Rah preschool the following year.

"The other children find your child annoying at circle time so we put an "X" on the floor far away from the circle and that is where your child must sit."
From first grade teacher until we intervened. Once the principal was involved and the special ed teacher did her part, DC was welcomed back to the circle and did quite well there.

"He doesn't have Aspergers. He's just a brat. He needs YOU to stop letting him be controlling. You are making him this way."
From the same first grade teacher who banished him from circle time.

[Anonymous]

Your kid has had some terrible teachers. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid has had some terrible teachers. I'm sorry.

+1. Something wrong with the school and the teachers. Sounds terrible.

I had one comment from another parent when I told her DS has an IEP in preschool about holding him back. DS has an August birthday so is on the younger side for his grade. Did not red shirt. Has a very high IQ and no academic issues. Her son with an Oct birthday and DS are now good friends.

My brother told me DS is "SO HARD". True but he is an angel compared to how I and his daughter were at the same age. I had to remind him.

[Anonymous]

The other day I was walking my dog and my child came along in her wheelchair. She loves having the opportunity to walk our dogs. I saw a neighbor who was out walking his dog and greeted him as I usually do. He looked at my DD and he said "Is this person related to you?" Just like that. He wasn't joking or being cute.

I said "This is my daughter Larla." I just was so blown away. I can't imagine what he thought I would say. "No, I'm doing home medical care now." "No, this is a potted plant." "No, I just like to play Lady Bountiful."

[Anonymous]

The sped coordinator at my daughters last school implied that I was lying about her suicide attempt. As if I would make that shit up. I was sobbing in the meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sped coordinator at my daughters last school implied that I was lying about her suicide attempt. As if I would make that shit up. I was sobbing in the meeting.

holy shit

[Anonymous]

I think venting over specific, current situations can be cathartic, but I'm not sure how recording all of the mean things people have to us or our children over the years helps anyone.

We all have examples- some extreme- of the terrible things that are said and done to kids with special needs and their parents. Sure, my DS has experienced some bullying and some unkindness. A lot of the unkindness stems from cluelessness about how a child with ADHD and poor executive functioning might behave.

As a parent, I would like some opportunity to vent and feel those genuine feelings of frustration and unfairness and fatigue and worry. I am human, and have certainly felt that it is unjust that my son will struggle in ways most of his peers will not-- and gets judged mercilessly for things he cannot help.

For the most part, however, my child will do better, if I focus on helping him build skills to better get along in the world. *I* will do better if I can focus the majority of my energy positively by educating other people and achieving some level of inner peace with our situation.

[Anonymous]

I shared one (1) -- one -- count it, one, exactly one, experience. I am not saving up these experiences and I am not forgetting that everyone has problems. What the fuck? Why does everyone need to scold SN moms for sharing bad experiences after they were specifically invited to do so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think venting over specific, current situations can be cathartic, but I'm not sure how recording all of the mean things people have to us or our children over the years helps anyone.

We all have examples- some extreme- of the terrible things that are said and done to kids with special needs and their parents. Sure, my DS has experienced some bullying and some unkindness. A lot of the unkindness stems from cluelessness about how a child with ADHD and poor executive functioning might behave.

As a parent, I would like some opportunity to vent and feel those genuine feelings of frustration and unfairness and fatigue and worry. I am human, and have certainly felt that it is unjust that my son will struggle in ways most of his peers will not-- and gets judged mercilessly for things he cannot help.

For the most part, however, my child will do better, if I focus on helping him build skills to better get along in the world. *I* will do better if I can focus the majority of my energy positively by educating other people and achieving some level of inner peace with our situation.

I'm the PP who wrote this-- I meant it to be positive, not to lecture or to attack people who are feeling low. Typing things out is not great for showing intentions. When I re-read my statement it sounded preachy- not what I was going for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think venting over specific, current situations can be cathartic, but I'm not sure how recording all of the mean things people have to us or our children over the years helps anyone.

We all have examples- some extreme- of the terrible things that are said and done to kids with special needs and their parents. Sure, my DS has experienced some bullying and some unkindness. A lot of the unkindness stems from cluelessness about how a child with ADHD and poor executive functioning might behave.

As a parent, I would like some opportunity to vent and feel those genuine feelings of frustration and unfairness and fatigue and worry. I am human, and have certainly felt that it is unjust that my son will struggle in ways most of his peers will not-- and gets judged mercilessly for things he cannot help.

For the most part, however, my child will do better, if I focus on helping him build skills to better get along in the world. *I* will do better if I can focus the majority of my energy positively by educating other people and achieving some level of inner peace with our situation.

So find another thread. Do you expect everyone to use the exact same coping methods that you use? I need to vent, I also treat all teachers and IAs etc with the utmost respect even when they don't deserve, I express gratitude,I am quite a good problem solver if I do say so myself and we are constantly teaching our child with ASD positive adaptive skills and working with trained professionals. You know what else? We let said child vent when needed too. There is nothing wrong with it. I have found that the people I know who hold it all in are sometimes the ones who either explode at the school or quietly take a mental health break inpatient. I usually just vent to my husband and vent on here and it works for me. I don't find it helpful to talk forever about designer purses, so I don't visit those threads or the beauty section at all. I don't however go on and tell them how to enjoy life or how to cope with stress.

[Anonymous]

"Your child has WHAT?? They don't have the resources at [our] school FOR THAT!!"

--classmate parent/neighbor

[Anonymous]

"I really don't want my child in class with yours, I don't think it's fair that the regular kids have to deal with the problem children all day. Those kinds of kids should be in a different class." (We had a full time special ed teacher in our room as well as the regular teacher - and I suspect we had at least 5 ADHD or aspergers kids in the class of 22.

Sure, my kid has ADHD, but he's on meds and it's well controlled most of the time. He may talk too much and make way too many fart jokes, but at least he's not an asshole like that mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I really don't want my child in class with yours, I don't think it's fair that the regular kids have to deal with the problem children all day. Those kinds of kids should be in a different class." (We had a full time special ed teacher in our room as well as the regular teacher - and I suspect we had at least 5 ADHD or aspergers kids in the class of 22.

Sure, my kid has ADHD, but he's on meds and it's well controlled most of the time. He may talk too much and make way too many fart jokes, but at least he's not an asshole like that mom.

[Anonymous]

I know it is not meant to be mean, but often people will tell me that my son, who has mild down syndrome, is sweet even if they don't actually know him at all. It feels condescending. I don't mind if people who actually interact with him and know him say it, but when people who don't know him say it, I feel like it is being used as a euphemism for "slow."

[Anonymous]

This is from a family member who had several abortions yet claimed to "understand children's needs."

"You should just put him into a residential community" - said about DS who has ADHD. Non-violent, no emotional disturbances, just very inattentive.