DS screams and cries for hours at preschool

[Anonymous]

My DS turned 2 in July. We had a new baby in July also. We have an awesome nanny who has been with us since DS1 was 8 weeks old.
Today is my first day back at work. We decided to sign DS1 up for a Tuesday/Thursday MMO from 9:30-1:00.
The first few weeks, he did great! He was laughing and participating! He didn't cry at drop off. He LOVED school!
3 weeks later he is screaming and crying the entire time he is there. One of the teachers has to be with him.
Before the new baby came, the nanny had him on a very consistent, predictable schedule. Once I was home, it got interrupted.
Our nanny suggested that all the changes in his life (new baby, new house in April and me being home has thrown him for a loop).
She thinks that once everything calms down and they have a consistent routine-he may calm down at school a bit.
We have been speaking with a teacher and she suggested picking him up a bit early everyday, which we have.
Has anyone BTDT? Any suggestions/advice?

[Anonymous]

Keep doing what you are doing.
It's very common for a preschooler to have an awesome first few weeks and then the anxiety come after. This should improve in a few weeks.


In addition to what you have mentioned remain positive about school around DS don't let him pick up on your stress.
Keep your goodbyes short but consistent.

[Anonymous]

Just take him out. What's the rush. You're doing more harm than good subjecting him to such extreme emotions for no good reason.

Everyone told me to keep my small crying clinging kid in preschool so he could toughen up or whatever the perverse reasoning is, and I did it, but it was a huge mistake. He would have been much better off long-term by being "coddled" until he was older and better able to deal. I wish I had just withdrawn him until he was ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep doing what you are doing.
It's very common for a preschooler to have an awesome first few weeks and then the anxiety come after. This should improve in a few weeks.


In addition to what you have mentioned remain positive about school around DS don't let him pick up on your stress.
Keep your goodbyes short but consistent.

Preschool teacher here. This, exactly. Especially good byes. They are really hard for both of you, but they will be made worse if you stretchrt hem out. Keeping them short and sweet communicates to hi that you are confident I his caretakers while drawing the out shows him that you are as worried as he is.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the responses! Drop-off is done by carpool. Every morning I say "have a fun day. I love you!" and he hops out of the car and trots into school. His breakdowns happen once he is in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take him out. What's the rush. You're doing more harm than good subjecting him to such extreme emotions for no good reason.

Everyone told me to keep my small crying clinging kid in preschool so he could toughen up or whatever the perverse reasoning is, and I did it, but it was a huge mistake. He would have been much better off long-term by being "coddled" until he was older and better able to deal. I wish I had just withdrawn him until he was ready.

Make your own decision, but I don't think taking him out is the thing to do. It's going to take a long time for him to get used to it because it's only two mornings a week. Think about how long a week is in the life if a two year old and you'll realize how far apart those half day sessions are. He can have fun there, though - he's proven that.

I wouldn't have recommended picking him up early, but I don't know your specific circumstances. If it really is the caring, quality preschool it seems, your child will be fine. It's important for kids to experience new things and new caregivers and you are really helping him by giving him a good school experience, event nought it's hard for him right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take him out. What's the rush. You're doing more harm than good subjecting him to such extreme emotions for no good reason.

Everyone told me to keep my small crying clinging kid in preschool so he could toughen up or whatever the perverse reasoning is, and I did it, but it was a huge mistake. He would have been much better off long-term by being "coddled" until he was older and better able to deal. I wish I had just withdrawn him until he was ready.

This. He is not ready. I feel so bad for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the responses! Drop-off is done by carpool. Every morning I say "have a fun day. I love you!" and he hops out of the car and trots into school. His breakdowns happen once he is in the classroom.

Great job, OP ! That's perfect.

Maybe there's a way to make going to school extra special. Do you pack snack or something that maybe he could pick out? Or maybe he can pick one toy from home to keep with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take him out. What's the rush. You're doing more harm than good subjecting him to such extreme emotions for no good reason.

Everyone told me to keep my small crying clinging kid in preschool so he could toughen up or whatever the perverse reasoning is, and I did it, but it was a huge mistake. He would have been much better off long-term by being "coddled" until he was older and better able to deal. I wish I had just withdrawn him until he was ready.

I don't know the details of your circumstances, pp or OP, but I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, what kind of message does that send? You could argue it means different things, but I think it tells the child that if things get uncomfortable, the thing to do is quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just take him out. What's the rush. You're doing more harm than good subjecting him to such extreme emotions for no good reason.

Everyone told me to keep my small crying clinging kid in preschool so he could toughen up or whatever the perverse reasoning is, and I did it, but it was a huge mistake. He would have been much better off long-term by being "coddled" until he was older and better able to deal. I wish I had just withdrawn him until he was ready.

I don't know the details of your circumstances, pp or OP, but I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, what kind of message does that send? You could argue it means different things, but I think it tells the child that if things get uncomfortable, the thing to do is quit.

There is nothing wrong with admitting when you are in the wrong situation/wrong fit/jumped in too early, etc. That's a good life lesson as well, PP.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there OP, clearly he loves school, just a lot going on right now that has him out of whack. Give it a little time to get back into the routine then evaluate. You can always pull him out later, more difficult to put him back in once the routine has been reestablished.

[Anonymous]

I think it's actually a really good sign that he's happy at drop off. That means he has positive associations with being there. Maybe it's just a little too long for him at this age. I would keep picking him up early for the time being - maybe the chaos of lunch is too much for him.

[Anonymous]

I think preschool has got earlier and earlier. It used to be you started your kid the Sept after they were 3, or very close to turning 3.
Your DS just turned 2 over the summer. I don't know whether its good to pull him out or keep sending him.
I think young 2 is too young to be starting preschool. Give them another year at home, do some classes, library etc.

[Anonymous]

Former preschool teacher and I would tell you to take him out and try again at a later time. If he was just crying at drop off that would be one thing but the whole time,

[Anonymous]

OP, try to send him all 5 days or pull him out. It looks like the 2 day thing is not consistent enough, trust me pulling him put won't be bad at all, he is only 2 for god's sake.