Being open upfront

Anonymous
I am recently single after a rocky relationship and I am in my early 30s. I met this woman on eharmony and we have been on three dates already. Haven't slept together yet, but made out since date 2. I haven't been dating in a long time so I wanted to ask her on the next date if she is interested in moving forward. By that I mean I'm not looking to play any games. If she likes me I am willing to get to know her. If not I'd rather not waste any time. Not sure if this is something I should say yet or not. Again I'm not asking for a commitment, I'm just making sure we are both going down the same track. Input would be helpful, thanks guys!
Anonymous
I don't really understand what you're looking for. If she weren't interested, she wouldn't keep seeing you, but that doesn't mean she knows yet whether she wants a committed relationship with you. Is this supposed to be some way of asking her whether she's going to sleep with you?
Anonymous
I'd phrase it more as "what are you looking to get out of eharmony? fun, casual dates? a good friend you can take to weddings? a serious relationship? a spouse?" and then based on her answer you know if what she's looking for is the same as what you're looking for.
Anonymous
Isn't Eharmony a dating site for people looking for long-term relationships?

FWIW - I asked my now DH on our 5th date (we met on Match) if he was seeing anyone else and where he wanted this to go...

Anonymous
Please don't say whatever you're planning to say. You sound totally awkward. If she is going out on dates with you and making out with you, then she's interested. Just continue to date her and see how it goes.
Anonymous
The title of this thread makes me think your fly is unzipped.
Anonymous
I am recently single


Hold your horses there Rocky! You are presumptuous and likely to scare off any decent person with this behavior. She's "making out" with you so therefore she finds you attractive. She has not put you in the "friend zone" But are you worthy of her? She needs to have enough experience with you to make a smart decision.

Anonymous
I personally wouldn't go on a second date with anyone unless I see a clean bill of health.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If she is going out on dates with you and making out with you, then she's interested. Just continue to date her and see how it goes.


+1000000000

Anonymous
She likes you. She wouldn't have gone out with you three times if she didn't.

Don't try to pin her down out of insecurity, if that's what's driving this. Try to let it go naturally for a bit more. See if she's good for you. Honest, forthright, reliable, etc. plus all the other stuff (looks, attraction, common interests, etc.).
Anonymous
Date four is way too soon for a dtr
Anonymous
I think you're rushing it. Let things unfold more naturally.
Anonymous
If you're just coming out of a relationship why do you want to jump into another?
Anonymous
I think 15:13 has a great way of wording this. I think it's ok to try to gauge what your dates are looking for from a relationship. Why waste your time with someone who might just be looking for a fling if you're thinking long-term?

It might also be nice to know if you're *just* dating each other or open to dating others.
THATguy
Member Offline
WAY too soon...don't say it or she'll likely run for the hills...just roll with it and see where it goes
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