Being Counseled Out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of a Big 3. We had a parent teacher conference that seemed additional and we asked, had to ask, if this was unusual and what it meant. We were told they just wanted to visit. Then we were brought in a couple months later and told our DC was not invited back. our DC excelled academically and was reserved, but not a troublemaker. I heard from the teacher that one of the other DCs in the class didn't feel secure around our DC, not sure what that means. I do know my DC is a minority and the other DCs parents are wealthy and influential. Will never know. DC since accepted to other top schools and is thriving.

Wow - I would have persued this with the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of a Big 3. We had a parent teacher conference that seemed additional and we asked, had to ask, if this was unusual and what it meant. We were told they just wanted to visit. Then we were brought in a couple months later and told our DC was not invited back. our DC excelled academically and was reserved, but not a troublemaker. I heard from the teacher that one of the other DCs in the class didn't feel secure around our DC, not sure what that means. I do know my DC is a minority and the other DCs parents are wealthy and influential. Will never know. DC since accepted to other top schools and is thriving.

Maybe the child who was counseled out was bullying the other child in the class. Maybe there were many more cues and the parents had trouble believing that a child well-behaved at home could be a problem at school, and discounted warnings. Or maybe this is a totally phony post from a troll.

Sorry, but schools don't counsel out wonderful students who are perfectly behaved. Please, people need to use some common sense and stop being so gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were told by administration that two students were counseled out at the end of the freshman year. One because of behavior and one because of poor academic performance. The school worked very hard at finding another environment for each student. Senior year two students were expelled over winter break for cheating. Whenever I hear someone vehemently curse a certain big three I always wonder if it's one of those two parents.

It speaks very poorly of the school that the administration would share this private information with everyone.

I agree that it speaks very poorly of the school. It also is only the perspective of the school/a one sided view, so it could be biased. Did the student really have behavior problems or was it related to bullying/personality conflicts? Was it proven without a doubt the two seniors cheated or were they just accused? One of the problems with private school is that your kid can be expelled and there is no recourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were told by administration that two students were counseled out at the end of the freshman year. One because of behavior and one because of poor academic performance. The school worked very hard at finding another environment for each student. Senior year two students were expelled over winter break for cheating. Whenever I hear someone vehemently curse a certain big three I always wonder if it's one of those two parents.

It speaks very poorly of the school that the administration would share this private information with everyone.

I agree that it speaks very poorly of the school. It also is only the perspective of the school/a one sided view, so it could be biased. Did the student really have behavior problems or was it related to bullying/personality conflicts? Was it proven without a doubt the two seniors cheated or were they just accused? One of the problems with private school is that your kid can be expelled and there is no recourse.

I think the original post is also phony. Kids know when discipline has occurred, so I could see everyone in a community knowing about expulsions, but it is facially ridiculous to assume an "administration" informed parents about the details of counseling out of different kids. Parent gossip? Okay. Administration telling other parents? No.

I think people are trying to wind up the poor OP with these phony/malicious stories about schools that are evil cesspits of false accusations, classroom teachers who inform families of their contract status, and leaked confidential information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:04 LOL right back at you. Of course there are going to be Beauvoir boys who do well (that's obvious), but not all of them are at the top of their class. I have heard of others who struggle. These are the ones that I am curious if they counsel out and if they do, when that typically occurs? 6th? 8th?

It will likely dissapoint a pot stirrer like you, but the occasional expulsion for honor code violation aside, STA has very low attrition.

The counsel out happens as the boys are applying out from Beauvoir in 3rd. Saint Albans gives its own test just to be sure.

so that's that.

Spots become available not because boys are asked to leave, but because spots are added in 6th, 7th and 9th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of a Big 3. We had a parent teacher conference that seemed additional and we asked, had to ask, if this was unusual and what it meant. We were told they just wanted to visit. Then we were brought in a couple months later and told our DC was not invited back. our DC excelled academically and was reserved, but not a troublemaker. I heard from the teacher that one of the other DCs in the class didn't feel secure around our DC, not sure what that means. I do know my DC is a minority and the other DCs parents are wealthy and influential. Will never know. DC since accepted to other top schools and is thriving.

There was a kid in my child's class who fits this description. I am sure they are doing well at whatever school they are at now, but the kid in question simply was a bad fit for the school. There was nothing "wrong" with them and the parents were really terrific people, but you could just tell they weren't an engaged student, were often lying on the floor not paying attention to the teacher etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of big 3. DD's grades hovered in the C range during freshman year. Then put on academic warning. Had meeting with class dean and director of upper school saying if grades do not go up she will need to look for a "better fit" for junior year. Grades did not really go up first quarter of sophomore year and she as taking 4 not 5 classes. Met after quarter 1 grades in and told to actively apply to schools. Applied out and was accepted at Edmund Burke, St. Andrews, Holy Child, not accepted at Field, Visi and Holton. Grades marginally improved and school said she could stay - but then said in light of college apps in a few year what schools would she get in to with a 2.3 GPA? Not good ones. Would fare better in college admissions if higher GPA from another school We ultimately sent our DD to Burke. Honors student and got into a selective liberal arts college. Much happier with the different pace and student body. School did us a favor in the end and though the process sucked, they were right.

So does this mean that no students at private schools have Cs? Does everyone have a GPA over 2.3? I though there was no grade inflation?

[Anonymous]

Do you really think two seniors could go missing in the middle of the year and administration would not have to address the reason? Especially if it involved academic dishonesty? That they bragged about?

[Anonymous]

As a private school graduate, everyone knew, from students to parents, who had been expelled (which happens rarely, so of course it's a scandal that everyone knows about) or who was being counselled out. It was never a secret. The faculty or administration wouldn't explicitly state why such a student was being counselled out but in a small school environment (sub 100 per grade) the students know who's doing poorly academically. And someone would always ask why so-and-so was leaving and the teacher's response was always, "it's a better fit for *insert leaving student's name here* elsewhere." We all knew what it meant, and of course we told our parents in the typical after-school chatter.

Private schools are akin to small towns. Everyone knows everything about everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of big 3. DD's grades hovered in the C range during freshman year. Then put on academic warning. Had meeting with class dean and director of upper school saying if grades do not go up she will need to look for a "better fit" for junior year. Grades did not really go up first quarter of sophomore year and she as taking 4 not 5 classes. Met after quarter 1 grades in and told to actively apply to schools. Applied out and was accepted at Edmund Burke, St. Andrews, Holy Child, not accepted at Field, Visi and Holton. Grades marginally improved and school said she could stay - but then said in light of college apps in a few year what schools would she get in to with a 2.3 GPA? Not good ones. Would fare better in college admissions if higher GPA from another school We ultimately sent our DD to Burke. Honors student and got into a selective liberal arts college. Much happier with the different pace and student body. School did us a favor in the end and though the process sucked, they were right.

good.

Thank you for this. DS is having similar issues, and the school isn't counseling us, but I see the writing on the wall. Being at the bottom third of his class at college app time is not going to do him any good.

[Anonymous]

One thing that comes through so many of these first-hand accounts is how much happier the child was after going through the painful process of being counseled out.

Sometimes, the school just isn't the right fit for a particular child. It's nobody's fault, it's just a mismatch of personalities or styles.

This happened to my brother many years ago - going from an all-boys, athletically focused, non-intellectual environment to a smaller, co-ed, more supportive school. Almost from day one, it was clear how much better the fit at the new school was, and he did so much better than ever before after switching.

Schools aren't in the business of being heartless, or turning away paying customers. But sometimes they possess expertise that enables them to know when they're not the right match for a student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were counseled out of big 3. DD's grades hovered in the C range during freshman year. Then put on academic warning. Had meeting with class dean and director of upper school saying if grades do not go up she will need to look for a "better fit" for junior year. Grades did not really go up first quarter of sophomore year and she as taking 4 not 5 classes. Met after quarter 1 grades in and told to actively apply to schools. Applied out and was accepted at Edmund Burke, St. Andrews, Holy Child, not accepted at Field, Visi and Holton. Grades marginally improved and school said she could stay - but then said in light of college apps in a few year what schools would she get in to with a 2.3 GPA? Not good ones. Would fare better in college admissions if higher GPA from another school We ultimately sent our DD to Burke. Honors student and got into a selective liberal arts college. Much happier with the different pace and student body. School did us a favor in the end and though the process sucked, they were right.

So does this mean that no students at private schools have Cs? Does everyone have a GPA over 2.3? I though there was no grade inflation?

I think no students have Cs across the board at these schools. A C or two, sure, but not a C in every class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can not imagine anyone in the right mind would share a story of their DC being asked to leave to another parent from the same school!

That story does not ring true.

What? Really? Our DC was counseled out and after a certain amount of time I was happy to tell the mailman because I was so happy that we were no longer with that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So does this mean that no students at private schools have Cs? Does everyone have a GPA over 2.3? I though there was no grade inflation?

There is no grade inflation, but the students who are getting mostly C's are going to get pushed out. They are a drag on discussions in small classes and they are going to fare poorly compared to their peers. It's better for all that they find a better fit. Some will not get their contracts renewed (if accompanied by poor behavior) and others will be strongly advised to seek a less intense academic environment. Some really smart students can't excel if they are reminded all the time that someone else is smarter/harder working etc. So a less competitive environment than found at SFS, NCS/StA, or GDS could really be a boost to reaching their full potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can not imagine anyone in the right mind would share a story of their DC being asked to leave to another parent from the same school!

That story does not ring true.

What? Really? Our DC was counseled out and after a certain amount of time I was happy to tell the mailman because I was so happy that we were no longer with that school.

Are you kidding? Everybody knows, so you might as well get out in front of the story. See PP below:

As a private school graduate, everyone knew, from students to parents, who had been expelled (which happens rarely, so of course it's a scandal that everyone knows about) or who was being counselled out. It was never a secret. The faculty or administration wouldn't explicitly state why such a student was being counselled out but in a small school environment (sub 100 per grade) the students know who's doing poorly academically. And someone would always ask why so-and-so was leaving and the teacher's response was always, "it's a better fit for *insert leaving student's name here* elsewhere." We all knew what it meant, and of course we told our parents in the typical after-school chatter.

Private schools are akin to small towns. Everyone knows everything about everyone else.