SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?

[Anonymous]

Can I chime in? I left to be a “SAHM” when my kids were 16 & 19 at age 47 (exactly 1yr ago). last W2 was 412k. My kids are really fun to hang out with now and do their own laundry and even often cook me dinner. Sad my 20yr old goes back to college this weekend, I won’t get to play SAHM with him until spring break. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

$75 K in 2008

[Anonymous]

I was making $150k 8 years ago at a stressful job where I was underpaid. My boss only offered me a lot more money when I resigned… kids were 2; 6 and 9. My husband was able to get into work earlier without daycare drop offs and travel and started making over $1m a year so we were able to save a lot of money and I enjoy summers now.

[Anonymous]

Everyone responding that their DH / spouse makes $1M+ - what do they do?

I’m assuming most are big law partners (for DC area PPs at least). Or maybe other partner-level roles like Deloitte GPS PPMD. I know some doctors can hit $1M+ but it’s rare and getting rarer with PE all over medicine now.

[Anonymous]

New poster considering leaving work. I make $150k but spouse is a big law partner at mid 7 figs. I do love my job tho so we'll see.

[Anonymous]

350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, the proportion of posters who say biglaw is out of wack. Why is that?

Because being a big law lawyer in DC kind of sucks. Most everyone I know hates or hated it. It's a grind, and for many people, it's not sustainable for any sort of work-life balance.

+1 and some of the posters, like me, are older. 20+ years ago when tech was not as advanced and remote work was what you did from an airplane on paper while traveling out of town to see a client in person. Investing in newly emerging tech (cell phones, lap tops, broadband) was very expensive, and law was slow to adopt.

Before I had kids, what I saw and learned from partners who were parents was not good. They delegated everything related to their lives outside of work, and in attempts to get home, sometimes delegated even more to the people who worked under them, making those lawyers lives even more miserable as you waited in the office for the partner to call in after the kids were in bed. Several only ever talked to thier kids by phone before bedtime. Partners had drivers for them and their kids, chefs, three shifts of nannies, housekeepers, and cleaners. Most ended up divorced. Everyone drank too much. I attended a few funerals where the eulogies from the adult children of these parents gutted me.

Many associates left when they became parents. The year after I left, the firm instituted a committee to explore ways to keep parents and a program to keep those who left engaged in the hopes that they'd come back some day.

As in, they said they felt neglected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:300k a decade ago. No regrets about the money. DH went from 500k to $3m. I was able to focus on our kids 100% and DH was able to concentrate on work and not have to deal with sick days, drop offs, half days, etc.

Do you have full access to the money he makes? I want to quit, but I am too afraid I'll get shut out and end up with nothing of my own. I guess I don't want to give up control over money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone responding that their DH / spouse makes $1M+ - what do they do?

I’m assuming most are big law partners (for DC area PPs at least). Or maybe other partner-level roles like Deloitte GPS PPMD. I know some doctors can hit $1M+ but it’s rare and getting rarer with PE all over medicine now.

CPA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.

I am a recent SAHM, not by choice. But it has been freeing and I don’t know if I want to go back. I was making $150k. DH makes double that.
Can you share more about the freedom and time? I so enjoy the time I have and DH fully supports staying home, but I feel very guilty having so much free time when he works so much (and partly at home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, the proportion of posters who say biglaw is out of wack. Why is that?

My theory - former big law SAHMs love DCUM, have time, and like answering questions about money (and many other DCUM favorite topics).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.

Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, the proportion of posters who say biglaw is out of wack. Why is that?

My theory - former big law SAHMs love DCUM, have time, and like answering questions about money (and many other DCUM favorite topics).

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.

Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.

You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.

Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.

You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally

So it's OK to put it all on your spouse, who earns half your salary and is now supporting the whole family? I get quitting a toxic job, but not even trying to get another one just seems like something else..