Do you dress fun in your late 40s and older? What does that look like?

[Anonymous]

My neighbor is a lawyer and dresses in very bland (her description, not mine) clothing. She recently started wearing amazing shoes every day. I commented on a pair (out of envy!) and she said she just wanted to perk herself up - and she did. She is going to ditch the ratty old backpack next, which I think is going to make her feel amazing.

[Anonymous]

i'm a late 40s woman who dresses "fun". But based on responses here, i think it's fascinating that my idea of 'fun' (bold, appropriately fitted to me, nicer brands, beautiful colors, dresses, skirts, mixing patterns and having fun with my clothes) is so different than the other 40-year old women on here who think 'fun' is to dress like Pru from the british baking show. She dresses like an old lady. Power to her, but she's 85 years old and dresses like it (ie like a well dressed 85 year old).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

OP didn't say "wear colors" -- she said "dress fun." That means wearing clothes that are attention grabbing, maybe a little eccentric. "Fun" implies clothes that people will notice and that will stand out in a sea of businesswear.

And yes, if someone was always dressed in business casual neutrals and then started wearing vibrantly patterned clothes, hats, and shoes, some people will absolutely think it is some kind of mental health issue. Especially in many of the industries common in DC -- corporate law, policy, consulting, etc. This doesn't mean someone lives a "small life" (hello, judgmental), it means that they know they will be judged for their clothes and have to think about how it could impact their career and how people perceive them.

If you're a kindergarten teacher or work in a creative field, it's totally different. But most of us aren't in that situation.

I am a DC lawyer and have been for decades. No, nobody thinks you have a metal health issue because you start wearing vibrant colors. You are living in your own head and so fearful of the world and what people think. Yes that’s small. Who cares if it’s judgmental- welcome to the internet.

You are the one being small. You are judging a woman for NOT dressing "fun" enough for you. Who cares? It's okay to dress to blend in if you want to. Some people are shy or private and do not want to draw attention to themselves via their clothes. Why is that "small"? You are being small-minded in assuming your priorities and preferences are correct and anyone who thinks different is wrong.

Not at all surprised to learn you are a DC lawyer, many of you seem to have this same personality disorder.

I am judging you for being a middle aged woman who thinks other people care so much about your colors and fashion. I don’t care whether someone dresses in a fun way or not- that’s the whole point. No one is thinking about you the way you seem to think.

NP-I disagree. I can remember the outfits of total strangers I've admired throughout the years, coworkers who had their own very defined style, people who always look put together, or whose quirky styles reflect their personality, the teacher in high school who wore silly socks, the one who wore tweed every day... I definitely think about people and their fashion, and I'm not especially into fashion. It's one of the first thing people notice about us usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

OP didn't say "wear colors" -- she said "dress fun." That means wearing clothes that are attention grabbing, maybe a little eccentric. "Fun" implies clothes that people will notice and that will stand out in a sea of businesswear.

And yes, if someone was always dressed in business casual neutrals and then started wearing vibrantly patterned clothes, hats, and shoes, some people will absolutely think it is some kind of mental health issue. Especially in many of the industries common in DC -- corporate law, policy, consulting, etc. This doesn't mean someone lives a "small life" (hello, judgmental), it means that they know they will be judged for their clothes and have to think about how it could impact their career and how people perceive them.

If you're a kindergarten teacher or work in a creative field, it's totally different. But most of us aren't in that situation.

I am a DC lawyer and have been for decades. No, nobody thinks you have a metal health issue because you start wearing vibrant colors. You are living in your own head and so fearful of the world and what people think. Yes that’s small. Who cares if it’s judgmental- welcome to the internet.

You are the one being small. You are judging a woman for NOT dressing "fun" enough for you. Who cares? It's okay to dress to blend in if you want to. Some people are shy or private and do not want to draw attention to themselves via their clothes. Why is that "small"? You are being small-minded in assuming your priorities and preferences are correct and anyone who thinks different is wrong.

Not at all surprised to learn you are a DC lawyer, many of you seem to have this same personality disorder.

NP and pp didn’t judge anybody, she simply stated that no one thinks a woman is mentally ill for wearing colors and that seems like a good point. Maybe she didn’t say it in a nice way but that was her point.

[Anonymous]

I dress fun and have always done so! I am 51, petite, and thin. I don't have a single grey hair, so I look younger than I am (except for some face wrinkles). I also smile a lot and have an overall positive, youthful vibe.

I work at a nonprofit and more on the creative side though I am an executive. My favorite color is pink and everyone knows it! I have known most of my colleagues for years and they know the quality of my work and leadership so I am not worried about being judged negatively.

I have some good core staples in my closet but every season I look for cute stylish clothes that are not expensive. Kohls, Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, Target, H&M, even Walmart. You can pick up pieces here and there and put them together to make really stylish outfits. I can fit in to juniors and even kid's clothes (size L or XL) so I even look there sometimes for cute sweaters or tops that no one even has a clue comes from the kids section. They have a lot more colors and prints than the women's section. I mix and match these pieces to make cute but always appropriate outfits. Think Kate Spade/Ann Taylor but with some youthful quirkiness mixed in.

I get complements on my clothes a lot and it is genuine. I find fashion, accessories, and colors fun and love experimenting and have developed sort of my own look. I honestly don't give a fig what others think and never have. It certainly hasn't stopped me in advancing in my career.

I do have an 11 year old daughter who prefers neutrals, which I completely respect, but she thinks I dress super cute too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mini skirts and boots without tights in winter. Mid 60's, I still turn heads.

Very unlikely. Unless for the wrong reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

OP didn't say "wear colors" -- she said "dress fun." That means wearing clothes that are attention grabbing, maybe a little eccentric. "Fun" implies clothes that people will notice and that will stand out in a sea of businesswear.

And yes, if someone was always dressed in business casual neutrals and then started wearing vibrantly patterned clothes, hats, and shoes, some people will absolutely think it is some kind of mental health issue. Especially in many of the industries common in DC -- corporate law, policy, consulting, etc. This doesn't mean someone lives a "small life" (hello, judgmental), it means that they know they will be judged for their clothes and have to think about how it could impact their career and how people perceive them.

If you're a kindergarten teacher or work in a creative field, it's totally different. But most of us aren't in that situation.

I am a DC lawyer and have been for decades. No, nobody thinks you have a metal health issue because you start wearing vibrant colors. You are living in your own head and so fearful of the world and what people think. Yes that’s small. Who cares if it’s judgmental- welcome to the internet.

You are the one being small. You are judging a woman for NOT dressing "fun" enough for you. Who cares? It's okay to dress to blend in if you want to. Some people are shy or private and do not want to draw attention to themselves via their clothes. Why is that "small"? You are being small-minded in assuming your priorities and preferences are correct and anyone who thinks different is wrong.

Not at all surprised to learn you are a DC lawyer, many of you seem to have this same personality disorder.

Pretty sure that, based on your post, you are the one with the personality disorder.

-- not the pp, but I am another DC lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i'm a late 40s woman who dresses "fun". But based on responses here, i think it's fascinating that my idea of 'fun' (bold, appropriately fitted to me, nicer brands, beautiful colors, dresses, skirts, mixing patterns and having fun with my clothes) is so different than the other 40-year old women on here who think 'fun' is to dress like Pru from the british baking show. She dresses like an old lady. Power to her, but she's 85 years old and dresses like it (ie like a well dressed 85 year old).

The PP who brought up Pru recognized that her style reads far older than 40s. You must have poor reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seeing no pics here of fun and young

Linda Rodin is a great example of an older person who manages to keep her look playful and stylish. Granted she used to be a model, but she pulls if off really well. Some of her outfits are pretty out there and I'm not saying anyone should copy her style, but she's great for a little inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iRcucelRKw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dress fun and have always done so! I am 51, petite, and thin. I don't have a single grey hair, so I look younger than I am (except for some face wrinkles). I also smile a lot and have an overall positive, youthful vibe.

I work at a nonprofit and more on the creative side though I am an executive. My favorite color is pink and everyone knows it! I have known most of my colleagues for years and they know the quality of my work and leadership so I am not worried about being judged negatively.

I have some good core staples in my closet but every season I look for cute stylish clothes that are not expensive. Kohls, Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, Target, H&M, even Walmart. You can pick up pieces here and there and put them together to make really stylish outfits. I can fit in to juniors and even kid's clothes (size L or XL) so I even look there sometimes for cute sweaters or tops that no one even has a clue comes from the kids section. They have a lot more colors and prints than the women's section. I mix and match these pieces to make cute but always appropriate outfits. Think Kate Spade/Ann Taylor but with some youthful quirkiness mixed in.

I get complements on my clothes a lot and it is genuine. I find fashion, accessories, and colors fun and love experimenting and have developed sort of my own look. I honestly don't give a fig what others think and never have. It certainly hasn't stopped me in advancing in my career.

I do have an 11 year old daughter who prefers neutrals, which I completely respect, but she thinks I dress super cute too.

'
Are you me? Skinny, late 40s, preppy/youthful/fun/bold with a good sense of personal style that still garners professional respect? Yes! I met up with my sister last year for a long weekend, and by Sunday she was like "can i ask what's up with the pink?" I didn't realize every outfit all weekend was leading pink. (I don't dress in pink all the time, but when i was limited to a carry on suitcase, i was probably picking things that matched and worked together with multiple outfits, which carried me into a very pink theme). My internet browser is currently hitting me hard with ads for pink Frye Campus boots while i type this very response.... i was so hoping they were going on sale for black friday but alas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeing no pics here of fun and young

Linda Rodin is a great example of an older person who manages to keep her look playful and stylish. Granted she used to be a model, but she pulls if off really well. Some of her outfits are pretty out there and I'm not saying anyone should copy her style, but she's great for a little inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iRcucelRKw

She's really old but 90% of the outfits in that video are things that a lot of people in their 40s could wear and look great in and aren't really quirky but just really stylish. Thanks for the link PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dress fun and have always done so! I am 51, petite, and thin. I don't have a single grey hair, so I look younger than I am (except for some face wrinkles). I also smile a lot and have an overall positive, youthful vibe.

I work at a nonprofit and more on the creative side though I am an executive. My favorite color is pink and everyone knows it! I have known most of my colleagues for years and they know the quality of my work and leadership so I am not worried about being judged negatively.

I have some good core staples in my closet but every season I look for cute stylish clothes that are not expensive. Kohls, Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, Target, H&M, even Walmart. You can pick up pieces here and there and put them together to make really stylish outfits. I can fit in to juniors and even kid's clothes (size L or XL) so I even look there sometimes for cute sweaters or tops that no one even has a clue comes from the kids section. They have a lot more colors and prints than the women's section. I mix and match these pieces to make cute but always appropriate outfits. Think Kate Spade/Ann Taylor but with some youthful quirkiness mixed in.

I get complements on my clothes a lot and it is genuine. I find fashion, accessories, and colors fun and love experimenting and have developed sort of my own look. I honestly don't give a fig what others think and never have. It certainly hasn't stopped me in advancing in my career.

I do have an 11 year old daughter who prefers neutrals, which I completely respect, but she thinks I dress super cute too.

Do you have any examples of outfits that are similar to what you might put together?

[Anonymous]

Yes. Iris Apfel is my hero, and older I get and less f I give what anyone thinks, the more I lean into her style.

52.

[Anonymous]

Watch Elsbeth and wear her outfits. https://wornontv.net/elsbeth/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watch Elsbeth and wear her outfits. https://wornontv.net/elsbeth/

This is clownish, not stylish.