Do you dress fun in your late 40s and older? What does that look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. I have a black button down shirt with white polka dots that gets a lot of compliments. Also, I look best in black, dark grey, blues, vibrant greens so I wear those colors, not the neutrals that are in style. Those wash me out and make me look sickly.

Also, in general, I don't believe in "people of X age shouldn't wear..." or "mothers shouldn't wear..." One of my grandmothers was wearing jeans into her 80's. So I'll wear things that I like, and screw what other people think of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start with accessories. Fun shoes, belts, bags, etc. can make an understated outfit stand out.

Adding a little unexpected bling can help, too. I'm not a jewelry person, but I will mix in things like a white shirt with a jeweled collar or ankle socks studded with faux pearls to help basic outfits less so.

Play with prints, too. I rarely like them for dresses and shirts, but a pair of pants with a fun print are attention-grabbers that are easier to style than you might think.

This is great advice

[Anonymous]

I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really. I am very short with largish breasts and if I don't wear fitted clothes I look frumpy, so I wear very simple solid dark colors type outfits. I actually would love to wear peasant blouses and beautiful prints and bright colors, love those on other women, but on me it's just all wrong. I've been thinking I need to buy some small, fun accessories like more interesting jewelry, belt, shoes...

Same here.

Yup, jewelry is pretty much our only option pp. I have a lot of really cute jewelry but the object of my wardrobe is to keep my breasts from looking porn-y or matronly.

Consider getting a reduction. I’m really glad I did, and I don’t have to worry about my shirts sticking out and dropping off as if from a shelf.

At this point I have adapted so much I don’t even think about getting a reduction. I don’t have back pain, etc, unless my bra doesn’t fit properly. But if they get any bigger with age I am definitely tapping out and getting a reduction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really. I am very short with largish breasts and if I don't wear fitted clothes I look frumpy, so I wear very simple solid dark colors type outfits. I actually would love to wear peasant blouses and beautiful prints and bright colors, love those on other women, but on me it's just all wrong. I've been thinking I need to buy some small, fun accessories like more interesting jewelry, belt, shoes...

Same here.

Yup, jewelry is pretty much our only option pp. I have a lot of really cute jewelry but the object of my wardrobe is to keep my breasts from looking porn-y or matronly.

Consider getting a reduction. I’m really glad I did, and I don’t have to worry about my shirts sticking out and dropping off as if from a shelf.

At this point I have adapted so much I don’t even think about getting a reduction. I don’t have back pain, etc, unless my bra doesn’t fit properly. But if they get any bigger with age I am definitely tapping out and getting a reduction.

Mine got really pendulous in addition to too large. That is what decided it for me. I got a reduction and lift. Wish I'd done it sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

Awww! How fun. I own a red beret too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

[Anonymous]

Fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

Awww! How fun. I own a red beret too!

Embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to my kids school for volunteering and the principal said "I found this red beret in the lost and found and I just knew it belonged to you Mrs. Smith! Who else would wear something like that?" And yes it was mine! I figured no one paid any attention to my clothes.

Awww! How fun. I own a red beret too!

Embarrassing.

Embarrassing? You are embarrassing yourself. Print this out and show a therapist. Seriously. Hopefully their question is "And why did you feel the need to post that?" and you can explore your desperate insecurity and need to be mean to people when you can hide behind anonymity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: No.

But when I think of dressing “fun” I think of Prue on Great British Bake Off. I love everything she’s wearing, especially the jewelry. I wouldn’t wear it, though, and things like the mumu’s are quite aging.

I feel like it's hard to start dressing like that in midlife. People who have been dressing quirky their whole lives have it baked in, but if you suddenly start wearing super bright patterns and technicolor accessories in your 40s, people will think you are having a midlife crisis. Once your kids are out of the house and you are in the retirement/grandma zone, people will view it more as you just letting loose and relaxing.

I think that's the hardest thing about dressing in my 40s. I still have a kid in elementary school, I'm still mid-career and viewed as "young" by many people I work with (who are in their late 50s and 60s) so I have to think about how other people perceive me and there are professional and social risks to dressing "fun". It just feels like a tricky time to be expressive, even though I dressed very fun and colorfully in my 20s and well into my 30s.

You are way overestimating how much other people care about what you are wearing.

+1. It’s actually kind of embarrassing to think anyone assigns meaning to your accessories/clothes colors/age.

huh? what world are you living in? Of course people assign value and judgment based on your outward appearance. If people aren't noticing your clothes, there's judgment on that as well.

No, sane people don’t decide you’re having a mid life crazy because you wear colors in your 40s. Some of you live small lives.

[Anonymous]

Buy shoes in different colors than neutrals, brown or black. Try boots and tights.
Mix colors, use color charts for complimentary colors rather than safe choices.
Buy something "younger" looking like a top but pair it with something standard. Look for different prints and cuts.
Buy unique sweaters or different colors (if you always wear gray, try another color) or patterns and styles.
Earrings and bracelets can be fun accessories.
Don't overdo it.
Does it make you feel happy when you put it on? Do you really like it? Think about if you feel happy and confident in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:47 F. Feeling like outfits are bleh. Some might think the style of clothes I'm wearing now is classy or understated especially at this age but I feel a lot like everything is too conservative. But I don't know how to do fun or more daring without looking silly. Any advice from those who manage to dress well into this age?

Classy is always in fashion. You can go on Pinterest and find gorgous 20somethings in classic clothing. I'm 51 and have 2 stylist teenage daughters which helps keep me up to date but if i dressed like them people wouldn't take me seriously. I try to wear basic styles that are flattering on my body despite the trend. With jeans now, all styles go so that's easy. I try to keep it classic but update shoes and accessories and change jean styles, etc.