If grandparents offered to pay for private would you take it?

[Anonymous]

Do you have a sense of where your kids would thrive more? I went to a large public school and did well there but it was clear by kindergarten that my kid was intimidated in large classes and kind of shut down. We chose private for that reason and he thrived there. I will admit I was initially a bit uncomfortable since I wasn’t familiar with private schools and had a lot of stereotypes in my mind but we visited several and found one where our kid thrived and we also felt comfortable. There are a wide range of private schools in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws are offering to pay for our two kids to go to private as they are concerned with where things stand with the current education system. We have a rising Kindergartener next year and one in preschool now. I am all for smaller class sizes and opportunities that private schools provide, but DH nor I attended private school. We are not poor by any means, but we do not drive fancy cars and live in a townhouse in NOVA. We both work full time and can't attend lot of the extra curriculars and parent events that I am being told there are. I feel like we are not going to fit in socially and won't have much in common with the other parents, but I care more about their education than anything. Would love some input from anyone in our situation.

Oh just stop.

Public schools are great; you are brain-dead.

There is no private school in the DMV that beats public school, particularly in math & science.

I am in the 1% of this country financially, and I would never think like your idiotic in-laws or you.

Yes, some kids need private school. There is nothing wrong with that; however, to say that private is overall better than public, you are an idiot. Go back to your hole MAGA.

This is such a lie. My kids go to public and it's awful. The problems are so numerous I can't even list them. Go to the other school forums to see all the complaints. I'm sure there are top public schools, but it's in the zip codes that don't allow townhouses or apartments (Great Falls and Langley!). Teachers just cannot keep up with the need that students have. Kids are hungry, don't have permanent homes, barely speak English, and the poverty is high for half the kids in my school.

But that’s just life. All over the world, people are hungry, lack basic amenities, and live in poverty. I get that you fear real life but why raise the next generation that way? Kids have to learn to live in the world, as it is. If you don’t like the reality, work to make it better, instead of trying to put your (and your kids) head in the sand.

By this same logic, no one should be living in nice houses, drive nice cars, or eat good food because think about how much worse it is elsewhere in the world!

DP. I personally find a family of 3 living in a 5,000 sq ft house, owning 3 luxury cars, taking multiple long haul flight vacations annually, purchasing $10k handbags, and regularly eating environmentally damaging meat and fish to be disgusting. People who live like this are not normal. It is not desirable. They are empty no matter how much yoga or spiritual retreats they do. They don’t talk to regular people. They are removed from what’s going on in the world in part because if they paid attention, they couldn’t continue to work their lecherous jobs that give them that kind of money.

I sleep fine. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would totally take it.
Our kid had been in private since covid but is in 8th now. We could afford Elem and MS but can’t afford HS. I would totally take my in-laws money if they offered.
I’m sad they’re probably not gonna offer though at this point.
The smaller classes, less disruptive kids, and just a smaller school in general is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the decision needs to be from you & DH. You want private. This decision can not be because your inlaws are concerned. Whatever that means. If you & DH want private, accept the money. If you are this clueless about schools, don't accept the money. If you're not insulting to them, they'd likely still be able to pay beginning a later year, if by then you have changed your mind. .

Btw, parents are often trying to give-away their money. That's a good thing. As long as no strings attached. What I'm disappointed in is you being clueless re: schools and your opinion about them - or I'm disappointed you just want "cover", that the private school decision is because of your inlaws.

This is the place to start. In addition to this, I'd add that you and your husband pick the school, not the grandparents. As long as they are OK with that, I'd move on to secondary considerations. The first two that jump to mind are whether it will impact your relationship with them - to steal a phrase from an underrated movie, is the juice worth the squeeze? Also, are they in a position to fund two private tuitions through high school? If not, you have the be able to and comfortable with up the slack.

All of these two PP's.

Bit know there are a lot of people who do this. It is a HUGE wealth transfer without taxation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws are offering to pay for our two kids to go to private as they are concerned with where things stand with the current education system. We have a rising Kindergartener next year and one in preschool now. I am all for smaller class sizes and opportunities that private schools provide, but DH nor I attended private school. We are not poor by any means, but we do not drive fancy cars and live in a townhouse in NOVA. We both work full time and can't attend lot of the extra curriculars and parent events that I am being told there are. I feel like we are not going to fit in socially and won't have much in common with the other parents, but I care more about their education than anything. Would love some input from anyone in our situation.

Oh just stop.

Public schools are great; you are brain-dead.

There is no private school in the DMV that beats public school, particularly in math & science.

I am in the 1% of this country financially, and I would never think like your idiotic in-laws or you.

Yes, some kids need private school. There is nothing wrong with that; however, to say that private is overall better than public, you are an idiot. Go back to your hole MAGA.

This is such a lie. My kids go to public and it's awful. The problems are so numerous I can't even list them. Go to the other school forums to see all the complaints. I'm sure there are top public schools, but it's in the zip codes that don't allow townhouses or apartments (Great Falls and Langley!). Teachers just cannot keep up with the need that students have. Kids are hungry, don't have permanent homes, barely speak English, and the poverty is high for half the kids in my school.

But that’s just life. All over the world, people are hungry, lack basic amenities, and live in poverty. I get that you fear real life but why raise the next generation that way? Kids have to learn to live in the world, as it is. If you don’t like the reality, work to make it better, instead of trying to put your (and your kids) head in the sand.

By this same logic, no one should be living in nice houses, drive nice cars, or eat good food because think about how much worse it is elsewhere in the world!

DP. I personally find a family of 3 living in a 5,000 sq ft house, owning 3 luxury cars, taking multiple long haul flight vacations annually, purchasing $10k handbags, and regularly eating environmentally damaging meat and fish to be disgusting. People who live like this are not normal. It is not desirable. They are empty no matter how much yoga or spiritual retreats they do. They don’t talk to regular people. They are removed from what’s going on in the world in part because if they paid attention, they couldn’t continue to work their lecherous jobs that give them that kind of money.

DP. I’m curious about your meat/fish comment…so all non-vegetarians?

People who eat fetish beef all the time are ridiculous. You don’t have to be vegetarian, but wandering around like your choices are consequence-free is crazy.

WTF is fetish beef?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws are offering to pay for our two kids to go to private as they are concerned with where things stand with the current education system. We have a rising Kindergartener next year and one in preschool now. I am all for smaller class sizes and opportunities that private schools provide, but DH nor I attended private school. We are not poor by any means, but we do not drive fancy cars and live in a townhouse in NOVA. We both work full time and can't attend lot of the extra curriculars and parent events that I am being told there are. I feel like we are not going to fit in socially and won't have much in common with the other parents, but I care more about their education than anything. Would love some input from anyone in our situation.

Oh just stop.

Public schools are great; you are brain-dead.

There is no private school in the DMV that beats public school, particularly in math & science.

I am in the 1% of this country financially, and I would never think like your idiotic in-laws or you.

Yes, some kids need private school. There is nothing wrong with that; however, to say that private is overall better than public, you are an idiot. Go back to your hole MAGA.

This is such a lie. My kids go to public and it's awful. The problems are so numerous I can't even list them. Go to the other school forums to see all the complaints. I'm sure there are top public schools, but it's in the zip codes that don't allow townhouses or apartments (Great Falls and Langley!). Teachers just cannot keep up with the need that students have. Kids are hungry, don't have permanent homes, barely speak English, and the poverty is high for half the kids in my school.

But that’s just life. All over the world, people are hungry, lack basic amenities, and live in poverty. I get that you fear real life but why raise the next generation that way? Kids have to learn to live in the world, as it is. If you don’t like the reality, work to make it better, instead of trying to put your (and your kids) head in the sand.

By this same logic, no one should be living in nice houses, drive nice cars, or eat good food because think about how much worse it is elsewhere in the world!

DP. I personally find a family of 3 living in a 5,000 sq ft house, owning 3 luxury cars, taking multiple long haul flight vacations annually, purchasing $10k handbags, and regularly eating environmentally damaging meat and fish to be disgusting. People who live like this are not normal. It is not desirable. They are empty no matter how much yoga or spiritual retreats they do. They don’t talk to regular people. They are removed from what’s going on in the world in part because if they paid attention, they couldn’t continue to work their lecherous jobs that give them that kind of money.

DP. I’m curious about your meat/fish comment…so all non-vegetarians?

People who eat fetish beef all the time are ridiculous. You don’t have to be vegetarian, but wandering around like your choices are consequence-free is crazy.

WTF is fetish beef?

Glad I scrolled down before typing the exact comment. WTF!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In laws are offering to pay for our two kids to go to private as they are concerned with where things stand with the current education system. We have a rising Kindergartener next year and one in preschool now. I am all for smaller class sizes and opportunities that private schools provide, but DH nor I attended private school. We are not poor by any means, but we do not drive fancy cars and live in a townhouse in NOVA. We both work full time and can't attend lot of the extra curriculars and parent events that I am being told there are. I feel like we are not going to fit in socially and won't have much in common with the other parents, but I care more about their education than anything. Would love some input from anyone in our situation.

Yes accept it but be clear with NO TIES attached and they can write the check but will have no say in what schools you decide to attend. This is very important. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws are offering to pay for our two kids to go to private as they are concerned with where things stand with the current education system. We have a rising Kindergartener next year and one in preschool now. I am all for smaller class sizes and opportunities that private schools provide, but DH nor I attended private school. We are not poor by any means, but we do not drive fancy cars and live in a townhouse in NOVA. We both work full time and can't attend lot of the extra curriculars and parent events that I am being told there are. I feel like we are not going to fit in socially and won't have much in common with the other parents, but I care more about their education than anything. Would love some input from anyone in our situation.

Oh just stop.

Public schools are great; you are brain-dead.

There is no private school in the DMV that beats public school, particularly in math & science.

I am in the 1% of this country financially, and I would never think like your idiotic in-laws or you.

Yes, some kids need private school. There is nothing wrong with that; however, to say that private is overall better than public, you are an idiot. Go back to your hole MAGA.

This is such a lie. My kids go to public and it's awful. The problems are so numerous I can't even list them. Go to the other school forums to see all the complaints. I'm sure there are top public schools, but it's in the zip codes that don't allow townhouses or apartments (Great Falls and Langley!). Teachers just cannot keep up with the need that students have. Kids are hungry, don't have permanent homes, barely speak English, and the poverty is high for half the kids in my school.

But that’s just life. All over the world, people are hungry, lack basic amenities, and live in poverty. I get that you fear real life but why raise the next generation that way? Kids have to learn to live in the world, as it is. If you don’t like the reality, work to make it better, instead of trying to put your (and your kids) head in the sand.

By this same logic, no one should be living in nice houses, drive nice cars, or eat good food because think about how much worse it is elsewhere in the world!

DP. I personally find a family of 3 living in a 5,000 sq ft house, owning 3 luxury cars, taking multiple long haul flight vacations annually, purchasing $10k handbags, and regularly eating environmentally damaging meat and fish to be disgusting. People who live like this are not normal. It is not desirable. They are empty no matter how much yoga or spiritual retreats they do. They don’t talk to regular people. They are removed from what’s going on in the world in part because if they paid attention, they couldn’t continue to work their lecherous jobs that give them that kind of money.

I just think at this age, I'm not meant to live an uncomfortable life. I don't have the will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to private school and send my kids to public school so I've seen both sides. For me, I would worry less about fitting in and more about why the grandparents don't like the public school system. Is the system too liberal and they are more conservative? Do you they want a religious aspect their education? Smaller classes? Better facilities? Better connections? All of these are valid reasons but you need to make sure that their values align with yours.

My parents were more religious than I am and we lived in a city where the public schools were not great so I understand why my parents chose to send me to Catholic school. But its not the choice that I would make for my kids in the area where we live.

When my mother offered private school tuition, it was explicitly because she didn't want her granddaughter exposed to poor people and especially poor black people. As if those people were going to magically fade away once the child is grown and living in the world. I chose to let my kid experience the broadest possible demographic, to make friends of all walks of life, and not to give her a false sense of privilege.

[Anonymous]

No, I would ask them to save that money for college.