tell me about your experiences with all women's colleges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Bryn Mawr, and loved it, but I went there after also having been at an all-girls high school, and even with having co-ed opportunities with Haverford guys, that many years of single-sex did me no favors socially. I felt awkward and uncomfortable around men for years after college. Now, I’ve always been very introverted (and diagnosed social anxiety post age 40), so certainly my own personality and temperament played into that. Take with a grain of salt.

Also no, not everybody assumes you’re a lesbian. Even at BMC, which at least when I was there was called “the butch of the Seven Sisters.” Just the bigots do, and who cares about them. Although it *was* fun to hold hands with my roomate (who did happen to be bi) while walking to the grocery store and give the conservative old biddies in the town heart palpitations.

The social scene at the all women’s colleges is very different than two decades ago. My dd went to an all girl’s high school. Even there, many of the girls identified as lesbian.

This isn’t a criticism, a prospective student just needs to be comfortable where the majority of dating will be same sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Bryn Mawr, and loved it, but I went there after also having been at an all-girls high school, and even with having co-ed opportunities with Haverford guys, that many years of single-sex did me no favors socially. I felt awkward and uncomfortable around men for years after college. Now, I’ve always been very introverted (and diagnosed social anxiety post age 40), so certainly my own personality and temperament played into that. Take with a grain of salt.

Also no, not everybody assumes you’re a lesbian. Even at BMC, which at least when I was there was called “the butch of the Seven Sisters.” Just the bigots do, and who cares about them. Although it *was* fun to hold hands with my roomate (who did happen to be bi) while walking to the grocery store and give the conservative old biddies in the town heart palpitations.

The social scene at the all women’s colleges is very different than two decades ago. My dd went to an all girl’s high school. Even there, many of the girls identified as lesbian.

This isn’t a criticism, a prospective student just needs to be comfortable where the majority of dating will be same sex.

+1 Exactly. Denying the obvious is not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

PP stop being homophobic.

As a current student at Wellesley it has its ups and downs. I was able to find a great friend group my second semester here. The academics are rigorous and as a transfer from a CC who almost didn’t graduate HS it’s a tough adjustment. Even for the kids who’ve done 15 APs at a boarding school do have trouble. Dating isn’t too bad as many people date men from MIT, Olin, or Babson or even schools like BU and NEU. Pretty much any school in the Boston area people will date. The community here is not as supportive as I thought it’d be. It’s still wonderful but my other options were Smith and Mount Holyoke and they seem to be less competitive and more community oriented. Me and some other transfer students have qualms about the community and self-segregation by class and race.

Wellesley is currently having problems with admin that have soured my opinion on the school. However, my professors, resources for academics + mental health, and 7S alum are wonderful. I was choosing between Wellesley and UVA and sometimes I question my choice but in the end I’m glad I came here. I’m not scared to be wrong in class and ask questions.

Another complaint that even some other students have is that discussions in class are cyclical and don’t add anything new. Most people have the same opinions. Differing opinions aren’t welcome so there isn’t anything new to learn when the same people share the same opinion. I wish there was more broad discussion instead of everyone agreeing. Multiple classes have anti-cancel culture policies to be more open to differing opinions to foster discussion but people still don’t share.

As a non-traditional student Wellesley has been a tough but great environment for me to grow.

[Anonymous]

*Wellesley seems to be less community oriented.

Also, I don’t know if it’s a COVID or Wellesley thing but students are more anxious, socially anxious, etc. I think it’s both as I went to a public school in VA in the late 2010’s but both schools are on opposite ends on who it attracts. But I do think COVID has stifled people’s social meter. Some people here are very scared of talking to others or don’t like talking to people they don’t know if you’re not in their friend group.

[Anonymous]

*public college in VA with a 90%+ AR.

[Anonymous]

Most of these institutions are no longer all women OP. Are you OK with that, or seeking an environment that is limited to female persons only?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We looked closely at women's colleges. I liked the idea, but after we researched, we decided against that direction. Imo, there are two types of students: activist lesbian and introverted girls who are often from traditional families (and many international families in this group). The only womens college my daughter considered was barnard- because of job opportunities and bc there are boys to date at columbia/grad school, but she didn't like the activist vibe at Barnard. She chose a different school which is a better fit for her academically and socially. Of note, if interested humanities or social sciences, be sure to check the curriculum, course offerings, areas of faculty research, to understand their ideological preferences. It's eye opening.

Thank you for this. The smart ass responses are so unhelpful

[Anonymous]

We chose Wellesley over a T-10 school. She has loved Wellesley and is about to graduate-no regrets!

[Anonymous]

My daughter is thriving at Mount Holyoke. The teaching and mentorship she's received have been outstanding. She has friends at and sometimes attends events at other consortium schools.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, if you haven’t attended one, please shut up. Don’t rely on imagination and spread misinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We looked closely at women's colleges. I liked the idea, but after we researched, we decided against that direction. Imo, there are two types of students: activist lesbian and introverted girls who are often from traditional families (and many international families in this group). The only womens college my daughter considered was barnard- because of job opportunities and bc there are boys to date at columbia/grad school, but she didn't like the activist vibe at Barnard. She chose a different school which is a better fit for her academically and socially. Of note, if interested humanities or social sciences, be sure to check the curriculum, course offerings, areas of faculty research, to understand their ideological preferences. It's eye opening.

Not my experience at all. For many other students at BMC, it was the only women's college that they applied to--the rest were regular co-ed SLACs. I looked at schools that had specific programs and chose Bryn Mawr because it had the program I wanted and was in a better location that the other two colleges that also offered that program; being a women's college was basically neutral to me (mainly because I expected to--and did--take advantage of cross-registration with Haverford, although BMC itself retains the identity of a women's college).

Yes, there were plenty of lesbians there, interestingly some of my gay classmates are now married to men and some of my straight classmates are now married to women. I grew up near/with a parent who worked at a college, so I knew plenty about what goes on and I would definitely choose lesbians over frat parties, drunk guys pulling the fire alarms at 2 am, men peeing in the stairwells, and everything else that goes with throwing hundreds of teenage guys into an unsupervised living space together.

[Anonymous]

IME as a Wellesley alum, estimates of the number of students who were then or are now engaged in lesbian activities are way overblown. When I hear these claims from people who have never attended -- or even visited -- a woman's college, I always wonder just how anemic their sex lives are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, in what sense do you think it will not push her enough? Social or academic? If academic, I would not worry at all. They are all strong colleges. Socially, there are opportunities but they are different. For my daughter, it was excellent. All of the leaders are women so it’s natural to go for leadership opportunities as a woman. My kid was a stem kid, being in the lab was normal and natural and it was comfortable, with no guys talking down to her.

No, everyone is not a lesbian! My daughter is not, nor are her closest friends. Are there more lesbians that a coed school? Yes, but what difference does that make if you are not interested in dating them anyway? There are opportunities to socialize with other local coed schools. My daughter went to Smith and she and her friends went to parties and took classes at UMass.

Overall, for her it was a great match and a formative experience. She is in an excellent grad program now at a majority male stem school and is doing great. She has a ton of confidence in her abilities and is comfortable with herself. I honestly could not have asked for more from an undergrad program.

Her only complaints were the food and the weather, so not bad.

OP here. I'm not worried about academics at all. Just worried that socially she will be around a bunch of people who think very similarly to her, and she will follow her natural tendency to be a bit high strung. (Sorry, I don't mean to fall into stereotypes...)

My daughter is at Smith. She loves it. She's a STEM major and is speaking up in class and seems more empowered, all things I attribute to a women's school. Also, the classes are all small and the profs know each student. She's getting an incredible education. As for people thinking all the same, that hasn't been her experience. It is true there are probably no conservatives at all on campus, but she said there's still a surprising amount of variation in viewpoints anyways. Even though she's very liberal in general, she's more moderate for a Smithie.

She likes the food. The weather was a bit tough to handle mid winter but it was a gorgeous fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these institutions are no longer all women OP. Are you OK with that, or seeking an environment that is limited to female persons only?

The OP asked for all women's colleges, of which there are several.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We looked closely at women's colleges. I liked the idea, but after we researched, we decided against that direction. Imo, there are two types of students: activist lesbian and introverted girls who are often from traditional families (and many international families in this group). The only womens college my daughter considered was barnard- because of job opportunities and bc there are boys to date at columbia/grad school, but she didn't like the activist vibe at Barnard. She chose a different school which is a better fit for her academically and socially. Of note, if interested humanities or social sciences, be sure to check the curriculum, course offerings, areas of faculty research, to understand their ideological preferences. It's eye opening.

Your opinion is totally off. My D is neither lesbian nor introverted, and the school isn't at all limited to those types. In fact, the students seem very outspoken. And while it's very LGBTQ friendly, it's hardly all lesbians.

signed,

a mother of a student at an all women's college.