tell me about your experiences with all women's colleges

[Anonymous]

DD is seriously considering one of the seven sisters colleges. I feel like she will be comfortable there and fit in well -- but that it will be almost too comfortable, not enough push outside of her comfort zone, more of a space to shelter for four years. idk, maybe that's ok? Tell me about your experiences with all women's colleges.

[Anonymous]

I went to Wellesley and loved it. Amazing school with engaged students, fabulous faculty and a beautiful campus. The alumnae network is unrivaled.

[Anonymous]

Everyone thinks you’re a lesbian. Also, a lot of lesbians go to those colleges.

[Anonymous]

I went to Bryn Mawr, and loved it, but I went there after also having been at an all-girls high school, and even with having co-ed opportunities with Haverford guys, that many years of single-sex did me no favors socially. I felt awkward and uncomfortable around men for years after college. Now, I’ve always been very introverted (and diagnosed social anxiety post age 40), so certainly my own personality and temperament played into that. Take with a grain of salt.

Also no, not everybody assumes you’re a lesbian. Even at BMC, which at least when I was there was called “the butch of the Seven Sisters.” Just the bigots do, and who cares about them. Although it *was* fun to hold hands with my roomate (who did happen to be bi) while walking to the grocery store and give the conservative old biddies in the town heart palpitations.

[Anonymous]

I know a handful of people who went to Wellesley, Smith, Mount Holyoke. They had great experiences and are doing very well.

[Anonymous]

OP, in what sense do you think it will not push her enough? Social or academic? If academic, I would not worry at all. They are all strong colleges. Socially, there are opportunities but they are different. For my daughter, it was excellent. All of the leaders are women so it’s natural to go for leadership opportunities as a woman. My kid was a stem kid, being in the lab was normal and natural and it was comfortable, with no guys talking down to her.

No, everyone is not a lesbian! My daughter is not, nor are her closest friends. Are there more lesbians that a coed school? Yes, but what difference does that make if you are not interested in dating them anyway? There are opportunities to socialize with other local coed schools. My daughter went to Smith and she and her friends went to parties and took classes at UMass.

Overall, for her it was a great match and a formative experience. She is in an excellent grad program now at a majority male stem school and is doing great. She has a ton of confidence in her abilities and is comfortable with herself. I honestly could not have asked for more from an undergrad program.

Her only complaints were the food and the weather, so not bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, in what sense do you think it will not push her enough? Social or academic? If academic, I would not worry at all. They are all strong colleges. Socially, there are opportunities but they are different. For my daughter, it was excellent. All of the leaders are women so it’s natural to go for leadership opportunities as a woman. My kid was a stem kid, being in the lab was normal and natural and it was comfortable, with no guys talking down to her.

No, everyone is not a lesbian! My daughter is not, nor are her closest friends. Are there more lesbians that a coed school? Yes, but what difference does that make if you are not interested in dating them anyway? There are opportunities to socialize with other local coed schools. My daughter went to Smith and she and her friends went to parties and took classes at UMass.

Overall, for her it was a great match and a formative experience. She is in an excellent grad program now at a majority male stem school and is doing great. She has a ton of confidence in her abilities and is comfortable with herself. I honestly could not have asked for more from an undergrad program.

Her only complaints were the food and the weather, so not bad.

OP here. I'm not worried about academics at all. Just worried that socially she will be around a bunch of people who think very similarly to her, and she will follow her natural tendency to be a bit high strung. (Sorry, I don't mean to fall into stereotypes...)

[Anonymous]

My daughter is at Smith and is thriving. There are some men in many of her classes due to the consortium. Many of the students do not fit the stereotype of a masc lesbian you are thinking. It's a wonderful school and community and it depends on what your student is comfortable with. I don't have any concerns or worries that my daughter will be able to manage out in the "real world" interacting with men professionally and personally. At all.

[Anonymous]

I was educated at all girls schools. The advantage is that I learned a great deal and was able to self actualize. I think all women’s schools raise women who are very empowered and self-confident. For me, the adjustment to the real world was profound. It hit me hard when I found that men were obnoxious and very entitled with little to back it. The good news was I didn’t have to deal with this while I was growing up, but the bad news was the shock and confusion it brought to my life. I am currently married with three kids and still prefer the company of women socially.

[Anonymous]

How about Barnard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a handful of people who went to Wellesley, Smith, Mount Holyoke. They had great experiences and are doing very well.

My DD is at an all girls high school and we are choosing a coed college. I think that an all girls education is very powerful, but there are downsides to it. It can be rough - girls can be competitive and mean in such an environment. I think it’s important that you choose the right all women’s college for your child based on their personality. They all have different vibes.

We know one family that sent a daughter to Wellesley and another to Mount Holyoke. The first DD (Wellesley) is an absolute superstar. She is very driven and very successful. She said at times it was difficult because she was surrounded by girls that were all like her. The second child is much more relaxed and a sweet kid. She likes Mount Holyoke and I get the vibe that it may be a kinder environment. Both girls say Smith is for very outspoken girls. Something to the effect of they let everyone know their opinion (loudly).

I think it will be important for you to do campus visits. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was educated at all girls schools. The advantage is that I learned a great deal and was able to self actualize. I think all women’s schools raise women who are very empowered and self-confident. For me, the adjustment to the real world was profound. It hit me hard when I found that men were obnoxious and very entitled with little to back it. The good news was I didn’t have to deal with this while I was growing up, but the bad news was the shock and confusion it brought to my life. I am currently married with three kids and still prefer the company of women socially.

There's some risk about emerging from an all-womens school with such a simplistic generalization about men.

But there's some positives, too. Good & bad. I prefer a coed environment but if your daughter really feels she's found her fit, there's a LOT to be said for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was educated at all girls schools. The advantage is that I learned a great deal and was able to self actualize. I think all women’s schools raise women who are very empowered and self-confident. For me, the adjustment to the real world was profound. It hit me hard when I found that men were obnoxious and very entitled with little to back it. The good news was I didn’t have to deal with this while I was growing up, but the bad news was the shock and confusion it brought to my life. I am currently married with three kids and still prefer the company of women socially.

There's some risk about emerging from an all-womens school with such a simplistic generalization about men.

But there's some positives, too. Good & bad. I prefer a coed environment but if your daughter really feels she's found her fit, there's a LOT to be said for that.

I don't think that risk is real for the vast majority of women. Most have been in co-ed schools at some point, have brothers and male friends, fathers, uncles, cousins and male neighbors, have had jobs and internships, etc. etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is seriously considering one of the seven sisters colleges. I feel like she will be comfortable there and fit in well -- but that it will be almost too comfortable, not enough push outside of her comfort zone, more of a space to shelter for four years. idk, maybe that's ok? Tell me about your experiences with all women's colleges.

well. we found out in my DD Sr year that she was a lesbian. Who knows when that started. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is seriously considering one of the seven sisters colleges. I feel like she will be comfortable there and fit in well -- but that it will be almost too comfortable, not enough push outside of her comfort zone, more of a space to shelter for four years. idk, maybe that's ok? Tell me about your experiences with all women's colleges.

well. we found out in my DD Sr year that she was a lesbian. Who knows when that started. Good luck to you.

Oh, I'm pretty sure *she* knows when "that started." And I'm equally sure it wasn't in college.

Sounds like it took being away from you for a few years to realize that was OK.