No recognition

[Anonymous]

Our public school district ignores some very notable accomplishments by some students while highlighting others. I’ve never understood the rhyme and reason. I think there is some “tall poppy syndrome” going on. The super brilliant grinder kids really don’t get as much recognition as artists or activists or athletes, even when the nerds’ academic accomplishments far surpass their peers.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school, earning these achievements would have been all the recognition I needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has been going to this private school for five years and has received zero recognition for academic achievements.

They have award ceremonies every year, but DD never gets awarded anything.

When DD gets all As, we only see “Honors Roll” or “Deans List” on the academic report PDF. There is not a ceremony where she is recognized.

When DD won first place in state math competition representing the school, a teacher handed her the certificate in a hallway, passing on the way to a class.

When her programming club placed second in a local competition, she was not acknowledged by the school.

It’s like she’s invisible.

Should I complain about it? What the actual f?

If your kids wins a state math competition representing the school and gets an award in the hallway you should definitely bring that up. It’s rude and insensitive. Particularly since schools have no problem promoting such things in their marketing, recruitment, and fundraising.

It wasn't a school award though, so why would the school have a ceremony for something the kid chose to do outside of school? A note in the school newspaper would be appropriate though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has been going to this private school for five years and has received zero recognition for academic achievements.

They have award ceremonies every year, but DD never gets awarded anything.

When DD gets all As, we only see “Honors Roll” or “Deans List” on the academic report PDF. There is not a ceremony where she is recognized.

When DD won first place in state math competition representing the school, a teacher handed her the certificate in a hallway, passing on the way to a class.

When her programming club placed second in a local competition, she was not acknowledged by the school.

It’s like she’s invisible.

Should I complain about it? What the actual f?

If your kids wins a state math competition representing the school and gets an award in the hallway you should definitely bring that up. It’s rude and insensitive. Particularly since schools have no problem promoting such things in their marketing, recruitment, and fundraising.

It wasn't a school award though, so why would the school have a ceremony for something the kid chose to do outside of school? A note in the school newspaper would be appropriate though.

By that account they shouldn't give sports awards either. Happens outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has been going to this private school for five years and has received zero recognition for academic achievements.

They have award ceremonies every year, but DD never gets awarded anything.

When DD gets all As, we only see “Honors Roll” or “Deans List” on the academic report PDF. There is not a ceremony where she is recognized.

When DD won first place in state math competition representing the school, a teacher handed her the certificate in a hallway, passing on the way to a class.

When her programming club placed second in a local competition, she was not acknowledged by the school.

It’s like she’s invisible.

Should I complain about it? What the actual f?

If your kids wins a state math competition representing the school and gets an award in the hallway you should definitely bring that up. It’s rude and insensitive. Particularly since schools have no problem promoting such things in their marketing, recruitment, and fundraising.

It wasn't a school award though, so why would the school have a ceremony for something the kid chose to do outside of school? A note in the school newspaper would be appropriate though.

Acc to OP, the student was representing the school. Is there no academic convocation event where such things can celebrated?

[Anonymous]

That’s typical with private schools if your student isn’t the child of a major institutional level donor or URM.

If she plans to stay in private, teach her that these awards are not a reflection of actual merit or accomplishment. They exist to meet institutional priority needs only. She needs to be able to maintain her motivation even with this going on.

Don’t take it personally and don’t overemphasize its importance.

Life’s not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For example, her bio teacher will not round up 89.9. You have to earn your A-.

Is this OP? At DD’s school, they send a letter home each quarter that you get straight A’s (not A-). Then they do cum laude for juniors and seniors (note this is a national program with rules about how schools administer it in terms of number of students that can receive the award as a %of total students in the grade.) If your child is getting a 89.9, maybe they aren’t in the running for academic awards. I know it’s tough if you have an academic kid to not feel celebrated for academics the way other kids are for sports. With that said, in this area, there are so many super high academic achievers so it’s possible there are students just doing better than your child. My kid essentially had all As/A+s, but still had to wait until senior year for recognition. And once they get into college, you won’t care as much anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But what are the award ceremonies for? Awards for anything except academics? Athletics, Art, Drama, etc.? Are academic awards given out at the ceremonies?

At the last ceremony they had
- awards for sports

- awards to students nominated by teachers. I don’t know the criteria, but some of nominees were C students so I assume these awards were not academic

- induction of juniors and seniors into Cum Laude Society

You’ve poked around enough to know that the students who receive the awards are C students, but not enough to go look up the award criteria? Info about the awards is usually included in a program for the award ceremony, or in the student handbook, or somewhere on the website, or at least read out at the ceremony.

This whole post is weird. You’re annoyed your kid hasn’t gotten recognition but when asked for details about what awards are given out you continually say you don’t know.

Talk to your dang school or let it tf go.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t said whether this situation bothers your daughter. Is she happy? Leave it alone. Is she unhappy? Pursue it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was in this position which was not a huge deal but a bit unpleasant. I think the issue was she’s both an excellent student and very independent-never asked for help, did it seem to need encouragement, etc. I think sometimes teachers use discretionary awards for students they like or have made great strides, which is okay but it doesn’t feel great to feel invisible.

Also, the kid who got the kindness award is well known by the students to be a really mean kid, and that actually made her feel a little better.

This seems to be universal

+1, what gives with this "kindness" award or "good citizenship" award that so many schools give out? Thought many years of experience in both public and private schools, I have seen multiple kids who are straight up bullies receive such an award. Every once in a while I'll see a genuinely nice kid win, but for the most part it is mostly kids who can charm/fool the adults, but are mean to their peers. I'm talking about not just exclusionary snobbery, but downright mean and controlling behavior towards other kids.

Yeah some adults don’t see through those kids.

[Anonymous]

On another topic, at the last cum laude induction ceremony I noticed that almost all girls.

Are we teaching girls to grind and try to get perfect grades while boys just relax and enjoy learning?

I wonder if cum laude cohort does better or worse in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I hear you. Seems like athletic achievements are always celebrated, but we somehow have to stifle the smart kids' recognition to make others not feel bad about themselves. It is ridiculous as the mom of a high academically achieving kid who is not super athletic.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes hard work is its own reward, and that has to be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes hard work is its own reward, and that has to be enough.

Sadly, it seems those days have gone by the wayside. As a parent, I try to teach my child not to seek external validation, though that sometimes seems like a Herculean feat.

[Anonymous]

I would ask, for sure. Winning a state math competition representing the school? That should absolutely have been recognized.

Is she a quiet kid that keeps to herself? My kid is and gets little recognition for accomplishments though they’re on par with others.

The kids that get the most recognition at our school:
Outgoing kids
Those who work closely with coaches and teachers
Children of high profile, highly involved high donors