Why do some people believe that you have to get divorced if you are unhappy
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Anonymous
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in a marriage?
I have been told by countless friends to split with my husband. The thing is that even though I have little or nothing to say to my husband, I don't want to split our assets and I certainly don't want someone "new". I believe that DH feels the same way. There are many couples who coexist and are fine with that arrangement. |
Anonymous
| It's easy for someone else to tell you what to do because there are no ramifications. Spouses take a long time to train each other and often the thought of having to do it over is too daunting. Besides, happiness is relative. You may be more content then is obvious to others and that is what surprises you about their reaction. Also it is a myth that we must be happy. Really all we need to do is survive. |
Anonymous
You must be complaining to those friends, it's not the type of thing people just spout off for no reason. |
Anonymous
That usually works until one of the two unexpectedly find a new partner and the other is left in the cold. |
Anonymous
Yep. A good start would be for you to simply stop the criticism of your husband to others. Venting won't help and likely puts you in a bad place. I am sure your husband is not as content as you are unless you have sex nearly every day. |
Anonymous
| Because what you described sounds like a miserable way to live for the rest of your life. |
Anonymous
| That's probably your friends' way of offering a solution to problems you are bringing up. If you are truly content with your life, no one would know you and your dh are simply coexisting. |
Anonymous
No one is "truly content" there is always something. The divorce thing does not always work out for many couples. Financial issues are really big. You can't ignore the practical things. |
Anonymous
Yup |
Anonymous
well have you even talked to him about it? maybe there are some things that would come out in a conversation that would make both of you happier. |
Anonymous
| Your friends are tired of you complaining about him, most likely. Just stop complaining and criticizing him around them, and they'll stop saying anything. |
Anonymous
| I divorced because along with the other issues my ex was a financial liability, otherwise I would have gone the quiet desperation route like most good Catholics. |
Anonymous
| marriage is like a new car at first it smells good then it stinks, thats the same as marriage, so people get divorced why they want the new car feeling again, we stay in boring marriages because we think its better but it isnt really because we grow old and unhappy that sad, we worry what other people think and we dont recognize its over!! |
Anonymous
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You sound extremely risk averse, so staying in a less than desirable marriage makes sense for you. Sometimes other people have bigger problems in their marriages that make staying together impossible.
I left a financially secure marriage because my ex was cheating. I could have stayed -- he wanted to stay married, but it wasn't worth it to me. I'd rather be on my own and struggling financially than married to someone I couldn't trust. I'm happier now, but I can understand why others would have stayed married. Life's a bitch sometimes, but you can choose your own path and find happiness outside of a lousy marriage, too. |
Anonymous
| Because people have no regard for their marriage vows, and see their spouses as wholly expendable. |