Why do some people believe that you have to get divorced if you are unhappy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because what you described sounds like a miserable way to live for the rest of your life.

X1000 I'd rather be alone than live with someone under those circumstances. And I agree with pp, one of you will find someone and the other one will be shocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in a marriage?
I have been told by countless friends to split with my husband.
The thing is that even though I have little or nothing to say to my husband, I don't want to split our assets and I certainly don't want someone "new".
I believe that DH feels the same way.
There are many couples who coexist and are fine with that arrangement.

If you are fine with an arrangement where you just coexist, you woudnl't be complaining to your friends that you are unhappy. They're telling you to divorce because you're living that coexisting arrangement but are still miserable. And they're probably sick of listening to it.

[Anonymous]

I agree it sounds like your friends are offering a solution to feelings you have expressed.

My question: sounds like you and your husband don't even do the work that keeps happy marriages going. Have you thought about working on the marriage? The goal doesn't have to be the love of the century, but it can be happy companionship.

Stop talking about your husband to your friends.

[Anonymous]

Most people expect other people to make them happy so if they are unhappy they blame their spouse instead of working on themselves. So the logical answer to them is to divorce, but unfortunately for these people, they end up unhappy anyway. Divorces is not the solution to unhappiness.

[Anonymous]

OP--if you don't want to split the assets, couldn't you just divorce and leave him with all the money?

So I guess what you really mean is you want to maintain access to your half and his half, too?

Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in a marriage?
I have been told by countless friends to split with my husband.
The thing is that even though I have little or nothing to say to my husband, I don't want to split our assets and I certainly don't want someone "new".
I believe that DH feels the same way.
There are many couples who coexist and are fine with that arrangement.

Because some people still want an active sex life in their 50s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP--if you don't want to split the assets, couldn't you just divorce and leave him with all the money?

So I guess what you really mean is you want to maintain access to your half and his half, too?

Nice.

Not OP, but huh? It's not "his half" unless, you know, they're actually divorced. Until then they can negotiate about how it all gets spent.