Cafeteria Crisis for ASD Child

[Anonymous]

My child just started K last week. And he is terrified of the cafeteria. To the point where he is crying each morning before school. Not wanting to go at all. I got a call from school that they had to remove him from the lunch room bc he was crying and could not calm down. They have tried setting a table up that is smaller and more removed. Anyone have any other ideas that I can ask for? He is terrified. I'm not sure if this is a sensory issue or what. But, if it helps, we asked for, and were denied, an aide for lunch and recess. Now he is distraught at lunch, was not able to even participate in recess once last week bc he was so upset. Now... this AM, we had major tears about even going to school at all. Any ideas on what we need to do? Do we ride this out hoping he will acclimate?

[Anonymous]

The cafeteria is large, loud and very stimulating. Separate smaller environment makes more sense. Maybe they can have a few other kids join him. My kid would happily go.

[Anonymous]

Have they tried headphones? Also, does he have friends yet? If the counselor or sped teacher can set-up a lunch bunch tomorrow and make sure he is comfortable with 1-2 friends. Then he can be at a quiet table facing away from the other children but sitting with his new friends, that might help.

[Anonymous]

I HATE the cafeteria! My ADHD kid gets so wound up there. (When I go, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack...and I am not prone to panic attacks. Its just a disaster.) I've heard that some schools will do smaller "lunch bunch" groups monitored by the counselor for kids that have difficulty....I asked at our school, and they scoffed at me, but maybe you'll have better luck.

My kid kept getting in trouble for running around like a maniac and had to eat lunch in the office for a week or two. He actually really enjoyed it, because he liked chit chatting with the receptionist and got to say hello to all the teachers going into the lounge to eat. But maybe you could ask if she could eat in the office, for just a few days?

I've also heard some kids are successful with noise cancelling headphones -- or even more discrete earplugs like musicians wear at concerts. (Wouldn't help my kid...)

Most schools will also allow parents to go in for lunch. Would it help if you joined him for a couple days? And maybe a friend can be his lunch buddy? If all else fails, a lunch box filled with Twinkies and Ho-ho's? (I'm only half kidding on that one.)

[Anonymous]

They did a "lunch bunch" with the special ed coordinator for my kid and some others when he was in DCPS kindergarten. That's not an unreasonable request at all. How is he supposed to access the curriculum if the sensory environment is so terrifying that he can't eat and is afraid of school?

At Maddux they eat in the classrooms for this reason but a couple of times a year they set up a big mock cafeteria in the big room to try and get the kids accustomed to it.

[Anonymous]

Kids at our school can have lunch with the counselor, can he do that?

[Anonymous]

I would call the principal and ask for a meeting. In MCPS, it would be called an EMT (Education Management Team Meeting). Even if riding it out is the best answer, it should be a plan not a default decision due to inaction. I feel for you and your child. It's been awhile for me since lunch crises, but I recall that our principal had a small group that ate in the office because they couldn't manage the cafeteria - this is different than the kids who were in trouble for something or another.

[Anonymous]

Another parent saying ask for a meeting right now. My dc's es cafeteria was absolute hell. The school was overcrowded and there was no funding for aides so there were only 2 or 3 adult volunteers minding the kids in each shift. I volunteered a lot at my kids school and had lunch with them a lot. It was impossible to have a conversation because it was so loud. Because of the number of kids, the noise was deafening. Because of the noise, the adults would regularly flick the lights and scream at the kids to be quiet. It was insane. That school did provide alternatives for kids who were affected by the noise. There were kids who ate in the library or rooms with other students.

[Anonymous]

Can you go in for a few days and eat lunch with him to try to see what's going on yourself to understand it?

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I didn't know that I could go eat with him. I will request this. I will also ask about a lunch bunch. I love that I can ask this group bc the school did not mention any of these possible solutions. So, can they grant these accommodations without having to go through all the IEP hoops? I just want to know what I'm possibly facing with asking for accommodations not specified in his IEP. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My K SN/non-ASD kid is also saying that he hates school and that lunch is the worst part. It's got to be somewhat scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I didn't know that I could go eat with him. I will request this. I will also ask about a lunch bunch. I love that I can ask this group bc the school did not mention any of these possible solutions. So, can they grant these accommodations without having to go through all the IEP hoops? I just want to know what I'm possibly facing with asking for accommodations not specified in his IEP. Thank you!

They can, but I'd ask to reconvene the IEP. The fact that they aren't willing to problem solve says that when you do develop an accommodation plan it should be formalized in writing.

[Anonymous]

In our MoCo public, my K daughter's friend was having a hard time acclimating to lunch in the cafeteria for the first few weeks of school (NT kid, but for whatever reason, couldn't handle the lunchroom without getting physically ill). They tried having her eat in the office (with my daughter for company) for a week or so, which helped her get over the hump. It's likely there are options if you push for it.

[Anonymous]

My ASD kid also got sent to the office b/c he could not deal with the noise and crowding of the cafeteria. While I'm sure it was meant as a punishment, he loved going to the office and seeing 1-3 nice quiet adults and reading a book and having a low stimulation lunch.

[Anonymous]

I only was every diagnosed with learning disabilities but I think I'm ... close to having aspergers and I always avoided the cafeteria like the plague. In middle school I went to the library, and in high school I sat anywhere OTHER than the cafeteria. As an adult, I NEVER go in work lunch rooms. They smell disgusting, are loud as hell, and are never relaxing.

I feel for him.