Cafeteria Crisis for ASD Child

[Anonymous]

OP here...Ugh... I hadn't even thought of the smell issue. He is super sensitive to smell to the point of gagging over common food smells. I can't imagine how overwhelming it is to be in a cafeteria of food!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I didn't know that I could go eat with him. I will request this. I will also ask about a lunch bunch. I love that I can ask this group bc the school did not mention any of these possible solutions. So, can they grant these accommodations without having to go through all the IEP hoops? I just want to know what I'm possibly facing with asking for accommodations not specified in his IEP. Thank you!

A good school would work on solving this without an IEP. What your dc is experiencing is not uncommon. The problem is that without the iep the solution could just arbitrarily disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child just started K last week. And he is terrified of the cafeteria. To the point where he is crying each morning before school. Not wanting to go at all. I got a call from school that they had to remove him from the lunch room bc he was crying and could not calm down. They have tried setting a table up that is smaller and more removed. Anyone have any other ideas that I can ask for? He is terrified. I'm not sure if this is a sensory issue or what. But, if it helps, we asked for, and were denied, an aide for lunch and recess. Now he is distraught at lunch, was not able to even participate in recess once last week bc he was so upset. Now... this AM, we had major tears about even going to school at all. Any ideas on what we need to do? Do we ride this out hoping he will acclimate?

He needs to be allowed to take his tray to the resource room or the school office to eat.

Maybe ear plugs in the meantime?

[Anonymous]

OP here... thanks for the suggestions. The school has been helpful. They decided to move him with another child to the front office for the time being. The teacher said that he was crying about lunch at every transition... thinking lunch was right around the corner!

Not sure how long the arrangement will last. But, for now, my child is relieved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... thanks for the suggestions. The school has been helpful. They decided to move him with another child to the front office for the time being. The teacher said that he was crying about lunch at every transition... thinking lunch was right around the corner!

Not sure how long the arrangement will last. But, for now, my child is relieved!

Does he understand the schedule yet? Maybe you can help the teacher put together a visual schedule he can have on his desk to refer to, so he knows what's happening? Might help with anxiety!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I didn't know that I could go eat with him. I will request this. I will also ask about a lunch bunch. I love that I can ask this group bc the school did not mention any of these possible solutions. So, can they grant these accommodations without having to go through all the IEP hoops? I just want to know what I'm possibly facing with asking for accommodations not specified in his IEP. Thank you!

I've been a SN parent for many years now and over the years I've learned that it isn't necessary to make everything into a formal obligation/requirement. Frankly, at this point, you don't even know what's going to work so what would you put into an IEP. If a problem persists over time, then it accommodations and/or services made it to the IEP. But honestly, if all accommodations needed to go through the IEP process, a school couldn't function and it would take forever to solve problems like the one you are facing. Just call the school when things like this come up. I was always close to our special education staff (they called it Resource teacher at our school), so that's whom I would call.

[Anonymous]

Also, I forgot to add, in our school, the same kid cannot be in lunch bunch everyday and parents cannot go in at lunch. So, while these might be alternatives at your school, they are not universal, so they might not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... thanks for the suggestions. The school has been helpful. They decided to move him with another child to the front office for the time being. The teacher said that he was crying about lunch at every transition... thinking lunch was right around the corner!

Not sure how long the arrangement will last. But, for now, my child is relieved!

Great news op. Your dc is probably dealing with enough change as. So glad the school is working with you and your dc.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for keeping us updated OP. Happy to hear your good news and hope your child can transition successfully back to the main lunchroom later in the year.

Just so you don't feel alone I've been volunteering this week at our school at lunch and there are several kids who have been freaking out about lunch so it's not unusual at this point in the year. One even threw up presumably because of anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, I forgot to add, in our school, the same kid cannot be in lunch bunch everyday and parents cannot go in at lunch. So, while these might be alternatives at your school, they are not universal, so they might not.

While this may be true for a child without an IEP, a child with an IEP can have whatever accommodations they need to be successful. If the only strategy that allows a kid to eat in lunch without causing distress that interferes during the rest of the school day is a daily lunch bunch or a parent visit, then these strategies can absolutely be given, even if the rule for the general education students is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I didn't know that I could go eat with him. I will request this. I will also ask about a lunch bunch. I love that I can ask this group bc the school did not mention any of these possible solutions. So, can they grant these accommodations without having to go through all the IEP hoops? I just want to know what I'm possibly facing with asking for accommodations not specified in his IEP. Thank you!

I've been a SN parent for many years now and over the years I've learned that it isn't necessary to make everything into a formal obligation/requirement. Frankly, at this point, you don't even know what's going to work so what would you put into an IEP. If a problem persists over time, then it accommodations and/or services made it to the IEP. But honestly, if all accommodations needed to go through the IEP process, a school couldn't function and it would take forever to solve problems like the one you are facing. Just call the school when things like this come up. I was always close to our special education staff (they called it Resource teacher at our school), so that's whom I would call.

Another many year SN parent. It depends on the school.
At our former school, nothing appeared to get done (e.g., even permitting a child to line up last so that he would not be so close to others and standing still as long as it took the line to form --- we were told it "wasn't fair" for DS to get to line up last, as others wanted to do so and turn off the lights) without a more formal requirement. Our resource staff did not have a person trained in ASD at the time, several years ago.

[Anonymous]

Personally I just breastfeed my first grader. I find it cuts down on the crying. Can't stand to hear my baby cry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I just breastfeed my first grader. I find it cuts down on the crying. Can't stand to hear my baby cry!

Why are you even commenting? You clearly have nothing to add. I guess being an asshole to people in your life isn't enough fun for you... you have to troll parents of children with disabilities. You're so cool! Wish I could be you... gag!

[Anonymous]

This thread has both the words "crisis" and "ASD." Why do all the assholes think they should be commenting?

OP, it sounds like things are moving in the right direction. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I've been a SN parent for many years now and over the years I've learned that it isn't necessary to make everything into a formal obligation/requirement. Frankly, at this point, you don't even know what's going to work so what would you put into an IEP. If a problem persists over time, then it accommodations and/or services made it to the IEP. But honestly, if all accommodations needed to go through the IEP process, a school couldn't function and it would take forever to solve problems like the one you are facing. Just call the school when things like this come up. I was always close to our special education staff (they called it Resource teacher at our school), so that's whom I would call.


Another many year SN parent. It depends on the school.
At our former school, nothing appeared to get done (e.g., even permitting a child to line up last so that he would not be so close to others and standing still as long as it took the line to form --- we were told it "wasn't fair" for DS to get to line up last, as others wanted to do so and turn off the lights) without a more formal requirement. Our resource staff did not have a person trained in ASD at the time, several years ago.

Yeah, our experience is that it doesn't just depend on the school, it depends on the staff. The variability within the same school still astounds me. After 8 years of experience, we've learned it's best to document everything in the IEP. FCPS has made me regret every time we didn't.