Does your dh participate in vacation planning?

[Anonymous]

I just put together a week away for me, dh, and our 3yo and 5yo. DH did not really participate, except for a general approval of the region we're going to. All the research on hotels and options was up to me. I guess it's just frustrating that he doesn't really participate, but then freely pipes up if something is not to his liking.

[Anonymous]

Totally. Sometimes he does the bulk of it, sometimes I do. Whoever doesn't do the bulk crowdsources for cool restaurants and fun things to do.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much no! He doesn't like traveling much but wants it fancy when we do travel together. So I make sure to plan nice vacations for us, and then if I want a lower-key style I go myself or with friends. I like vacation planning more anyways. My main goal is to keep him interested in travel at all. If that means spending more, we'll do it.

[Anonymous]

When I read the topic heading I was about to say do you mean participate as in veto action and feedback, yes he does. Do you mean participate as in research and planning, I do the bulk of it but if it involves seeing his family he reaches out to his family. I'm not frustrated because vacation planning is my wheelhouse and DH has plenty of things in his. I've yet to take my car for an oil change or service since I've been married to DH. He also does grocery shopping and cooking. With vacations, we generally like the same things.e. Big cities instead of beaches, meat and potatoes type. The things that one person really likes, for example baseball, the other person will go along with, or for example DH took one child to a baseball game and I figured out something to do with the child that didn't really want to go.

I'm just making a shot in the dark, are you not happy with the general division of labor and this is one more thing that you feel if it is on your shoulders to do everything you want to do it without input OR is it something in the way you two interact like the person that says nothing until the 11th hour creating more work for you OR provides feedback in an unpleasant manner?

[Anonymous]

DH? No. I'm the travel agent. I actually was a travel agent. Get a lot of satisfaction from it.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the vacation. We have a San Francisco trip coming up and he did all the research. I offered my opinions if presented options, but it's 90% him. We're also planning a trip to Disneyworld and I'm doing the bulk of the planning. He wants to take the kids but has no strong feelings about where we stay, etc.

[Anonymous]

Not really. Home, so I have more time. He willyay or nay the actual hotel or house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just put together a week away for me, dh, and our 3yo and 5yo. DH did not really participate, except for a general approval of the region we're going to. All the research on hotels and options was up to me. I guess it's just frustrating that he doesn't really participate, but then freely pipes up if something is not to his liking.

Yup. Mine too. I finally stopped caring. He will always find something to
Complain about so there's no use trying to please him. His business travel has made him a travel snob. We stay only at Ritz Carlton, Four Seasons, etc, and he still complains.

[Anonymous]

I do most of it because I'm pickier.

Although, one trip we recently took, he planned the whole thing. But, when I mean "planned", I mean he booked the hotel room. Great. So we get there, have lunch, and his next words to me are "so, what do you want to do?". Um, hello? You planned this trip. I didn't look once online about this place. If you wanted me to have some idea you should of told me *before* we got there. When I plan our vacation, I have some idea of what we should do or what's there, or at least where to go to see what there is to do.

OK, vent over.

[Anonymous]

My wife cares more about the particulars so she does the planning. If I did it she would be putting in her .02 every step of the way anyway, so letting her do it saves us both a lot of frustration. I do usually come up with the general idea of where to go, so I am a participant.

[Anonymous]

He chimes in if he thinks I'm going cheap. He travels a lot for work and refuses to travel less nice for personal travel.

[Anonymous]

Nope. He will be the first to say he'd be perfectly happy just walking off a plane and being completely surprised by the destination and itinerary.

When I give him clear choices ("would you rather spend an extra day at x or have more time doing y?") he'll humor me with an opinion, but he truly doesn't care like I do.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he hands me the credit card.

[Anonymous]

This is a chore? I absolutely love planning everything. I'd be upset if he complained or even wanted more say. We really really enjoy our vacations though. It's an easy task I pick up to offset all dh does for me.

[Anonymous]

Not really, although if I asked him to I'm sure he would. I like the control though, and he'd wait to the last minute, so I usually make a list of options (narrowed down to things I'm happy with) and then lay it out in an email for him. We make a final decision together.