Should a parent be present for health physical appointment for early teen (14 year appointment)

[Anonymous]

Should a parent be present for health physical appointment for early teen (14 year appointment)

did the doctor ask you (parent) to step out?
Were you comfortable leaving child alone with the doctor?
was the child comfortable staying alone with the doctor?
I am talking about mom and daughter (parent-child) situation.

[Anonymous]

Legally you must be present.

[Anonymous]

Present as in not sending them by themselves? Yes, because 14 year olds aren't great at reporting what the Dr. said.

But you should expect to step out for the physical exam part, in part so that he can ask questions that he won't ask in front of you. Even if he swears he has no such questions, I still step out because I want him to get in the habit. When he says "I have nothing to say" I say "find out if he likes the Ravens or the 'skins" and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Present as in not sending them by themselves? Yes, because 14 year olds aren't great at reporting what the Dr. said.

But you should expect to step out for the physical exam part, in part so that he can ask questions that he won't ask in front of you. Even if he swears he has no such questions, I still step out because I want him to get in the habit. When he says "I have nothing to say" I say "find out if he likes the Ravens or the 'skins" and leave.

Sorry change him to her.

[Anonymous]

I am present but step out for the physical exam. Mom with 2 boys.

[Anonymous]

I've always stayed with my DD. When she was a senior in high school, her pediatrician asked me if it was okay if she told DD that DD could contact her directly with any questions or issues that came up while DD was in college, even though she wouldn't be 18. I said it was fine. DD never contacted her.

She just graduated from college.

[Anonymous]

op here:

I am really upset because doctor made me step out. my DD did want me to step out and I did not want to step out.
DH stopped me from raising any objections. I regret not stressing that I want to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here:

I am really upset because doctor made me step out. my DD did want me to step out and I did not want to step out.
DH stopped me from raising any objections. I regret not stressing that I want to stay.

Sorry for typ.
DD did NOT want me to step out.

[Anonymous]

If DD did not want me to step out I would not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here:

I am really upset because doctor made me step out. my DD did want me to step out and I did not want to step out.
DH stopped me from raising any objections. I regret not stressing that I want to stay.

You allowed yourself to be "made" to step out. She's YOUR daughter.
Nobody will separate me from my daughter if we don't want to be separated. Did the doctor hold a gun to your head? If I'd been in your situation, I'd have told my DD, "Get dressed. We'll find a new doctor who respects our wishes." And then we'd have left together.

OP if you don't have a backbone, how will your daughter learn to have one?

[Anonymous]

Wrong, you need to step out because the doctor needs to ask about sex, suicide, drugs, abuse, depression etc... that a child would never talk about in front of a parent. You do not have to step outside for the exam if your child is okay with it, but you do need a few minutes away so the doctor can ask some questions.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 2 boys. At that age, I would step out for the exam. Doctor would also talk to my sons (alone) about smoking, drugs, seat belts, helmets etc-general safety. Doctor's view was that kids would not talk with parent in the room. My boys were okay with me stepping out of the room. On the drive home, I would ask my son what they talked about. My kids are older now, but I think it's an appropriate time for them to talk to a doctor about their concerns in private. It's all about the child's comfort level.Also, when my boys were 10 and 12 yrs old, I consciously opted to leave the pediatrician (mostly female docs) and chose a male family practioner.

[Anonymous]

I look my DD to her 13th appt. (I am her father). After we got through the more mechanical part of the exam: what vaccines need to be done, etc, I left the room. I assumed that was so they could examine her body and talk to her in private. DD told me they asked her about sex, about dugs and about mental illness.

Frankly I can not imagine any kid would want the parent present for those conversation or the physical exams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Legally you must be present.

Not in California. Legally you must step out unless your chikd says she want you to stay. You also are not allowed to access your own child's full medical records starting around age 12 without their written permission.

And yet, they can't take medicine at school or get their ear piered or tattoos without your knowlege or permission as a sixth grader.

[Anonymous]

http://www.chicagonow.com/tween-us/2013/08/law-access-parent-child-medical-records/