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Please tell the green eyed monster to back off
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Anonymous
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Just came back from dinner with a friend. Found out she's making $35K more than me. She's single and I'm supporting three people. I just spent an hour looking at ads for better paying jobs even though I LOVE my job.
Please tell me to stop. |
Anonymous
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Stop.
You have 3 wonderful, loving people in your life. You have your health. You have a job that you love. Heck, you have a job. Just stop. Breathe. |
Anonymous
| Good advice. |
Anonymous
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OP, are you both in the same field, same jobs? Also, she could be bloating her salary, you never know.
Don't sweat it, you sound like a nice person with a wonderful family. |
Anonymous
| All the women my age without kids who make my salary shop at Nordstrom's, travel whenever they want, eat out at nice restaurants, and have enough time on their hands to go to parties, get their nails done, etc. I have two great kids, and they seem to suck up my entire salary between the childcare and the cost of preschool. We don't have money for anything "extra". I know I'm lucky, but its hard not to feel a bit jealous when I hear about the latest trip to Europe or designer skirt. On the other hand, I think they like my kids pretty well, and at least some of them wish their lives were more like mine. It goes both ways I think. Too bad they don't babysit! That would be a win-win. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
I'm not jealous of her material possessions (she doesn't have many) or lifestyle. Just the numeric difference that makes me nuts, and the fact that I'm in a crappy apartment and can't afford a house. We do sort of similiar work for the government and are the same grade, but our agencies are on vastly different pay scales. I'm also a manager and she's not. She's also 15 years older, and totally deserves it and is sweet and is not inflating it or trying to make me jealous. We're both open and matter of fact with each other. It's just irrational. |
Anonymous
Maybe it's all about that? I'm highly annoyed I'm still renting myself. Things that touch on that make me sensitive. Hang in there, Mom. I know it hurts and is frustrating, but in the long run, try to focus on your blessings. Hugs. |
Anonymous
| And as far as government jobs go, salary can have SO much to do with being there longer periods of time. Don't feel bad. She's closer to retirement, and needs to save money now, plus her 401k just went in the toilet, while yours still has time to recover. Loving your job makes life so much better....you spend most of your waking hours doing it. Don't change that just because of the money. Also, you can buy with only 3.5% down right now. You sure with the tax break from the mortgage AND first time homebuyer's 8k CREDIT this year that you can't afford your own home? |
Anonymous
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Maybe the house is more of the issue.....are there any loose pennies you can start putting together to save for a down payment? Maybe just working towards that goal now will make you feel better.
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Anonymous
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OP here. We have $100K saved up, plus an emergency fund. There's nothing under $500K with a good school system that's not tiny or a wreck. I make $100K, which with a $400K mortgage, would mean no saving for retirement or college. The math is scary. And neither DH or I want DH to work. That part is working out great.
It's not just the house. It's also the prospect of the salary not moving much from now on. |
Anonymous
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OP, it's great that you have so much saved up. Owning a house isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be--our furnace and dishwasher both went on the fritz over the holidays this year. Ugh.
I hear you on the house thing--one of the big reasons we left DC. We now have a beautiful 4 br, 3.5 ba house in Colorado with great views in an excellent school district and our mortgage payment isn't that much more than our rent was for a tiny 2 br house in South Arlington. I still miss my hairdresser and all the restaurants in DC though. When the kids are older we'll definitely do a long vacation in DC so I can eat and show them all the sights and where my son was born. And we can visit all my former colleagues who are now GS-15s and still live in condos or have super long commutes because it's so crazy there. |
Anonymous
renter mom here. sometimes i feel bad that i don't have a house and then i remember--i don't really want one! i live in a lovely building. everything is well-mainted. i can just manage to stay on top of the cleaning of an apartment and i am located in the center of a fun, busy nabe where i can get anything i want just walking. and we have beautiful park across the street that i like to think of as my backyard 
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Anonymous
| OP_ your friend is 15 YEARS older- of course she'll make more- or at least I hope so! Be happy of where you are- so yes, green eyed mosnter- back off.. in 15 years you'll be way ahead. |
Anonymous
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Happiness is not about money.
I went to school to become a teacher. mom said YOU'LL STARVE. She was right. What she forgot to say was I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR JOB. By the way, I don't starve that often and I LOVE MY JOB. oh, And I'm very happy with my life =] op, if you're happy that's enough. Don't forget that "everybody lies"! |
Anonymous
OP, I could have written this. We have a little bit more saved up, but I make the same amount as you and DH works part time. Nonetheless, we are about to make our big move. We are thinking about Brookland. Our budget is a little bit higher than yours (not too much) but there are homes priced lower if you had different needs. (We have some unique requirements for space that have pushed the numbers up a bit) It's so nice over there. There is some crime, but it's not even as bad as Hill East or Columbia Heights or some of the trendy plalces. and you can have a big yard. Lots of decently sized homes that won't break your budget. Even if you're not ready to buy now, simply making a plan to get there might help. Either way, big hug to you from another frustrated renter... |