Having baby at 42...what will it be like later?

[Anonymous]

Will I regret having a baby at 42? We really want one more and may give it a go for 6 months and see what happens. But part of me worries about the implications when I'm 50/60. If you had a baby in your 40s how is life now? Any regrets?
Thanks!

[Anonymous]

A little different, but my mom had me at that age. I don't think she has any regrets, except maybe that she won't live to see my kids grow up. It was tough on her when people thought she was my grandmother growing up, but luckily she's not vain at all. She comes from a family with extreme longevity, also, so she's doing better in her '80s than many other women her age. One thing to keep in mind is -- will you be there for your kids when they graduate college? get married? have kids of their own? I would love to have more help with my kids, but my parents are just too old to watch them.
I'm 42 now, and I can't imagine having another. I feel like the kids I have have put me halfway into the grave....another thing to think about is, what if this kid has special needs. Will you have the energy to handle it?

[Anonymous]

Not there yet, op, but I had my first at 41 and second at 44. Life is what it is. They are now 5 and 3. Maybe I'll have concerns later, but so far so good. I couldn't imagine another, and yes, I am tired, but I love our little family.

My mom died at 54. No future is guaranteed to us. She gave my sister and I a rock-solid foundation though. If you feel like your family is open and ready for another, I'd say go for it. If you're teetering on the edge, give it some thought first, but I don't think it's so bad.

[Anonymous]

So tired.

[Anonymous]

Op, having a baby at 42 is a piece of cake compared to having a 10 year old at 52

[Anonymous]

I had my last kid at 45. I am now 52. I have other mom friends my age with 5-6 year olds. It is not that uncommon in NW DC. And I have other younger mom friends.

Our family has a lot of resources so I am not run ragged even with multiple children which is good because I don't have all of the energy I had in my 30s. But I am an experienced, capable mom and I am really glad we had our last one even at 45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, having a baby at 42 is a piece of cake compared to having a 10 year old at 52

And it got harder and harder as they became teens when you were n your 60s and your friends and classmates retired

[Anonymous]

I had babies in my forties. I also had one in my mid-twenties. Now I'm in my mid-fifties.

In the DC area it's no issue because there are plenty of older parents.

I'm much more tired overall and have more health issues than I had when younger. I don't do the active things with my later kids that I did with my first.

I have more maturity, patience, experience, and perspective, which is great for parenting.

Looking back, I should have taken much better care of my health and made sure I got more rest.

And prepare yourself for perimenopause with elementary level kids. All the advice books are aimed at women whose kids are grown, telling them to take time for themselves blah blah.

[Anonymous]

My MIL had two kids in her 40s.

She is now 65 and has a 22 year old and a 19 year old.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 40 and my second at 42. They keep me young. Not only do I physically look younger than my age mates at 55, physically, I am much more active and athletic from doing activities (hiking, biking, running, etc.) with the kids. I don't regret waiting for a single minute. I am a much better mom than I would have been in my younger days and I have the benefit of physically feeling younger than my years.

[Anonymous]

I'm like 14:07. I am between 37 and 47 years older than my kids (I have three). At 55, I am very active. I don't find parenting that exhausting. I have no outside help - taught the kids to clean, cook, etc. and between all of use, we just manage ourselves. I have more money, time, patience and understanding of what matters than when I was younger. I want my kids to have opportunities to see and do as much as possible and I am active with them. We go hiking, biking, kayaking and so many other things together every week. As far as menopause, whenever I get moody, one of my kids will hand me a piece of chocolate, which totally cracks me up, so we've all learned to manage that problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, having a baby at 42 is a piece of cake compared to having a 10 year old at 52

first at 38 who's now 11
second at 42 who's now 7

I work FT. I am not excessively tired.

It's not that difficult to be honest. I don't know if you have a 10 yo at the "ripe" age of 52, but I have no complaints. If you take care of yourself, OP, it will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL had two kids in her 40s.

She is now 65 and has a 22 year old and a 19 year old.

Which one is your spouse? the 22 yo or the 19 yo?

[Anonymous]

Go for it! I had twins at 40 and lived to tell. And if you're in DC area it's not unusual.

[Anonymous]

I had my son at 42, almost 43. He's kept me young! Love biking, swimming, and all the fun activities children bring to our lives. Absolutely no regrets, my life is awesome because of him.