Having baby at 42...what will it be like later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had our one and only at 42. We tried for 6 months and got lucky. I used the clear blue easy monitor. He is 8 now and the light of our life. Going into third grade. Keeps us young!

Would not change a thing... DH and I are retired so that helps. We go on a lot of family trips. Just booked a trip to NYC in October for Halloween. Spent part of the summer in Italy and the rest in San Diego. We are slaves to the elementary school schedule

My grandmother had my dad when she was 42 also. He was an oops baby, the youngest of 5. My father adored his mother. She died when he was 32.

My DH's experience as well, also the youngest of five...he had a lot more of mom's attention...he was 38 when she died. I loved her a lot too...a great MIL. I think she was more laid back because, well, she'd already had four other other kids and inlaws and everything!

[Anonymous]

I had my twins a few months after I turned 44. They are 6 now and in first grade and I just turned 50 and I have to admit that I feel old. It's the number, not really how my body feels. There are a few moms in my age range, but there are many more moms in their mid to late 30s and 40s and I find myself embarrassed to even admit my age to them, which is sad, I know. My friends who are my age are now or soon to be empty nesters and are once again in a whole different life place from me. Life is what it is and I don't regret having my kids, but sometimes it feels kind of lonely not having many or any moms in my social circle (I'm in Bethesda) who I can befriend who are in a similar place as me.

[Anonymous]

The only downside I have seen is my going through menopause at the same time my girls are going through puberty. That is a lot of raging hormones in the house.

I had mine at 40 and 43 and I am 51 now. Would not change a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my twins a few months after I turned 44. They are 6 now and in first grade and I just turned 50 and I have to admit that I feel old. It's the number, not really how my body feels. There are a few moms in my age range, but there are many more moms in their mid to late 30s and 40s and I find myself embarrassed to even admit my age to them, which is sad, I know. My friends who are my age are now or soon to be empty nesters and are once again in a whole different life place from me. Life is what it is and I don't regret having my kids, but sometimes it feels kind of lonely not having many or any moms in my social circle (I'm in Bethesda) who I can befriend who are in a similar place as me.

Same here. I know how you feel. The other moms are nice, but the tight bond is just not there. Also what you are going through in your life outside of the children is very different than what is happening with both the current moms and your old friends.

[Anonymous]

I was part of a group of friends in my very late 30s, and was the only one to have children. I find that I stick out more in terms of that group than among the people I've met since becoming a parent. There's a lot of diversity among these "mom friends." There's a woman who has a step-son going off to college and a first grader; an older gay couple who adopted; etc.

In terms of parenting, I think I pick my battles and have a very pragmatic view of things as an older mom. I certainly have never even once had a regret or felt like I'd missed out on something because I had a very full life before these children showed up! Of course, there's also the fact that I don't know any different and these children were very much wanted.

I just realized that I'll be 56 when my elder turns 18, and that made me smile. We'll both be launching into a new period of our lives then. How marvelous! I've no doubt we'll help each other through it, too. His independence, my own brave march into older age...I see it as a positive.

I'm getting back to the gym and focusing on my health more so that I'll have the energy to enjoy my children in the way I most desire, for as long as possible. This is my life and I've been given a great sense of purpose to guide me.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think this through a bit, OP. I hope you resolve your own feelings around this as you make your decision. Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Had my first at 40 and third at 45. Husband is a few years older. We are now in our early 50s.

You are posing two different questions.

I don't regret having my children and don't feel any more tired than my younger friends. I am actually in better shape than 10,years ago and much more financially secure. So for now, knock on wood, I see no difference.


But do I wish I had started younger? Yes. I do not want to be a burden to my kids when they are young and finding themselves. And I won't really know their children. Sad.

[Anonymous]

It's weird posting back to school photos of your third grader when your friends are sending their kids to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird posting back to school photos of your third grader when your friends are sending their kids to college.

My kids are in college and grad school, and I love seeing all the back to school pix -- whether they're the kids of my friends who had children later or the grandkids of my friends who got married straight out of college and started their families right away. This is what makes the world such a beautiful and interesting place -- the many journeys people take. Embrace it!

[Anonymous]

I just realized that I'll be 56 when my elder turns 18, and that made me smile. We'll both be launching into a new period of our lives then. How marvelous! I've no doubt we'll help each other through it, too. His independence, my own brave march into older age...I see it as a positive.

that's sweet. But you had your baby at 38. When I was 56, my oldest was in 5th grade. If you got pregnant at 42, had the baby at 43, you would be 61 when that child turned 18.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 37, my second at 42 - gap was due to i/f. I'm now 50. Wouldn't trade it for the world. My knees hurt, but other than that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird posting back to school photos of your third grader when your friends are sending their kids to college.

I'm 55, and have a child entering third grade and two children in second grade They are tons of fun!

[Anonymous]

I'M 65 and have a 9 and a 10 year old. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird posting back to school photos of your third grader when your friends are sending their kids to college.

My kids are in college and grad school, and I love seeing all the back to school pix -- whether they're the kids of my friends who had children later or the grandkids of my friends who got married straight out of college and started their families right away. This is what makes the world such a beautiful and interesting place -- the many journeys people take. Embrace it!

Thanks. Wasn't sure how friends/fellow alums felt.

[Anonymous]

Chronological age is not that important. Just take care of your health... don't skip MD appointments, mammography, dental check-ups, colonoscopies, etc. The tendency with young children is to put off taking of yourself. At 25 that doesn't matter much. At 50 you need to be vigilant so you can live to see your kids grow up. They will still need you, at least for moral support, when they are in their 30s and 40s! I had the opposite experience. By first born at 21 and my last at 27. I was still in college and grad school. Those years are a blur to me know I was so busy. But I now have teenage grandkids and people always assume I am the mom ( its funny because I can tell they think I look really bad for a mother!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird posting back to school photos of your third grader when your friends are sending their kids to college.

It's weird being in your 40s and still having a FB account.

done with that crap
What's with the competition?

49- mom of an 11 and 7 yo