My On and Off Again Ex

[Anonymous]

I have been broken up with my on and off again ex for about 4 years now. When we first started dating things were cool but I soon found out that the majority of what he was saying was fabrication of the truth. For example I didn't know he had a car until I woke up one day and saw him driving off. However he did have his own apartment but this didn't last for long because he was kicked out due to some "program" that they had him under in which he said he didn't sign up for.

Soon after he was kicked out his apartment he then looked for a room to rent. During the time period that he was staying at the room he was renting, I was making sure he was getting to and from work because his car stopped working. This also didn't last for long. As a result, he ended up switching jobs and moving in with one of his co workers. I was often letting him use my car to get to and from work at the time the car was my mothers and come to find out his license was suspended and had been for a while. I was very hurt that he didn't tell me and when confronted he made up an excuse.

While he was living with his friend he then found out that he had a daughter who was 3 years old so he decided to break up with me and make things work with his child's mother whom he didn't know. This was a one night stand years ago which resulted in a baby that he knew nothing about. Long story short with this, she wanted to get in contact with him only to put him on child support. Sooo after this situation went south he contact me and wanted to get back together. Stupid me agreed and thought things would really work this time boy was I wrong.

He then moved yet again with another friend and this didn't last for long. He would tell them he was only staying for a few months but months turned into an extended period of time.

Currently he is living with his family member and he says he has a great job and he wants me back. He also said at the time he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I asked him why would he stay with me then because I was not forcing him. I guess my question is should I take him back or just leave him in the past. I told him I do not trust him at all considering his patter and inconsistency.

Also another side note, when we were together he would always claim that he had money but his card would always decline. I figured out his account information and discovered that his account was constantly in the negative. Along with his living situation and him being financially unstable I feel as though I should leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

The dude is homeless. He needs a place to live. He's trying you to see if you'll let him. Don't.

[Anonymous]

I did not read a single thing in your post that says anything positive about this person.

1. Liar.
2. Unprotected sex with ONS.
3. Financially irresponsible.

If there are reasons to be in a relationship with him, I certainly cannot tell what they are.

[Anonymous]

You must really feel low and out of options to even consider this. I don't even know you, but I have to believe you can do better than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been broken up with my on and off again ex for about 4 years now. When we first started dating things were cool but I soon found out that the majority of what he was saying was fabrication of the truth. For example I didn't know he had a car until I woke up one day and saw him driving off. However he did have his own apartment but this didn't last for long because he was kicked out due to some "program" that they had him under in which he said he didn't sign up for.

Soon after he was kicked out his apartment he then looked for a room to rent. During the time period that he was staying at the room he was renting, I was making sure he was getting to and from work because his car stopped working. This also didn't last for long. As a result, he ended up switching jobs and moving in with one of his co workers. I was often letting him use my car to get to and from work at the time the car was my mothers and come to find out his license was suspended and had been for a while. I was very hurt that he didn't tell me and when confronted he made up an excuse.

While he was living with his friend he then found out that he had a daughter who was 3 years old so he decided to break up with me and make things work with his child's mother whom he didn't know. This was a one night stand years ago which resulted in a baby that he knew nothing about. Long story short with this, she wanted to get in contact with him only to put him on child support. Sooo after this situation went south he contact me and wanted to get back together. Stupid me agreed and thought things would really work this time boy was I wrong.

He then moved yet again with another friend and this didn't last for long. He would tell them he was only staying for a few months but months turned into an extended period of time.

Currently he is living with his family member and he says he has a great job and he wants me back. He also said at the time he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I asked him why would he stay with me then because I was not forcing him. I guess my question is should I take him back or just leave him in the past. I told him I do not trust him at all considering his patter and inconsistency.

Also another side note, when we were together he would always claim that he had money but his card would always decline. I figured out his account information and discovered that his account was constantly in the negative. Along with his living situation and him being financially unstable I feel as though I should leave him alone.

First, I am a man.

Now, the answer to your question is simple, and please put as much sound and emphasis on this as you want but make sure it is well above a normal speaking voice, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

And please don't take this as being mean but you are too nice and I really think that some kind of counseling would be good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been broken up with my on and off again ex for about 4 years now. When we first started dating things were cool but I soon found out that the majority of what he was saying was fabrication of the truth. For example I didn't know he had a car until I woke up one day and saw him driving off. However he did have his own apartment but this didn't last for long because he was kicked out due to some "program" that they had him under in which he said he didn't sign up for.

Soon after he was kicked out his apartment he then looked for a room to rent. During the time period that he was staying at the room he was renting, I was making sure he was getting to and from work because his car stopped working. This also didn't last for long. As a result, he ended up switching jobs and moving in with one of his co workers. I was often letting him use my car to get to and from work at the time the car was my mothers and come to find out his license was suspended and had been for a while. I was very hurt that he didn't tell me and when confronted he made up an excuse.

While he was living with his friend he then found out that he had a daughter who was 3 years old so he decided to break up with me and make things work with his child's mother whom he didn't know. This was a one night stand years ago which resulted in a baby that he knew nothing about. Long story short with this, she wanted to get in contact with him only to put him on child support. Sooo after this situation went south he contact me and wanted to get back together. Stupid me agreed and thought things would really work this time boy was I wrong.

He then moved yet again with another friend and this didn't last for long. He would tell them he was only staying for a few months but months turned into an extended period of time.

Currently he is living with his family member and he says he has a great job and he wants me back. He also said at the time he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I asked him why would he stay with me then because I was not forcing him. I guess my question is should I take him back or just leave him in the past. I told him I do not trust him at all considering his patter and inconsistency.

Also another side note, when we were together he would always claim that he had money but his card would always decline. I figured out his account information and discovered that his account was constantly in the negative. Along with his living situation and him being financially unstable I feel as though I should leave him alone.

First, I am a man.

Now, the answer to your question is simple, and please put as much sound and emphasis on this as you want but make sure it is well above a normal speaking voice, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

And please don't take this as being mean but you are too nice and I really think that some kind of counseling would be good.

+1

You are way too nice and you are unable to see all the red flags. This man is a disaster. He is NOT a good person. He has no problem lying to you and taking advantage of you.

If you can't see this for yourself, pretend that a friend came to you and asked for advice using exactly the scenario you wrote out for us. There is no way you would tell your friend to date that guy. Cut your losses right now. You need to move on. There are much better men out there. Hold out for a good guy. It's easier to be alone than to be in a bad relationship with a loser.

[Anonymous]

This is an easy one.

This guy is a useless, immature, irresponsible loser.

I don't know his age, but as he is likely an adult, he has made awful choices in life which he can blame no one but himself.

He is very unstable, he is a serial liar & he totally takes you for granted.

The only reason he wants you back is because he is out to get whatever he can from you.

If you take back this jerk, sadly you will eventually lose EVERYTHING near + dear to you.

Delete this guy from your life immediately. It will be one of the best decisions you will have made to your life.

Tough, I know, but you can do it OP.

Remember this: When one person in a relationship is going up, it is nearly impossible for that person to bring the other person up along w/them.

However as is always the case in these types of situations, it is much easier for the person going down to drag the other person down w/them.

[Anonymous]

Why would you ever want to get back together with a Liar? How can you trust anything he says to you?

You need to get into therapy to figure out why you would even consider getting back together with him. Serious sign that your internal world is out of whack!

[Anonymous]

You need new people. Where are your friends? Why is any of this OK for you? Why would you want any of this for your life? Run like hell away from this man and do not look back.