Please some advice for not-so-smart high schooler

[Anonymous]

My son isn't very smart. He's wonderful in so many ways, but academics has never been his strong suit. He struggles in school and makes mediocre grades. we live in NoVa so you can imagine the pressure all around to be great.

So, my questions:

If he consistently maintains grades around Cs will he ever get into a college?
If we move to a less demanding area, will he have a better chance of getting into college?
Should we just give it up and start prepping him for a trade school that he might enjoy?

He's a rising sophomore right now.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

What does he like to do? I'd be really tempted to start with what makes him happy and plays to his strengths. Then think of jobs that fit, then strategize about how to get there from here (which may or may not involve college -- or a trade school). If he doesn't know what he likes, try exposing him to things you think he might like. I have non college grad friends and family who do carpentry, firefighting, electrical work and financial services. And i see lots of people drawn to culinary careers. You might also think about how he likes to learn -- hands-on, one-on-one/apprenticeship, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't very smart. He's wonderful in so many ways, but academics has never been his strong suit. He struggles in school and makes mediocre grades. we live in NoVa so you can imagine the pressure all around to be great.

So, my questions:

If he consistently maintains grades around Cs will he ever get into a college?
If we move to a less demanding area, will he have a better chance of getting into college?
Should we just give it up and start prepping him for a trade school that he might enjoy?

He's a rising sophomore right now.

Thanks

I sympathize, OP. NOVA can be brutal to kids who don't excel are simply aren't into school. What does your son love to do? Does he like working with his hands? Is he outdoorsy? Or social? Artistic? Into computer games? Cars? Figuring out what he enjoys might be a good place to start. I have two brothers who were never much into school, but ended up being more financially successful than the rest of us. One had lousy grades and could only get into a community college. But growing up, he took every machine in the house apart and became a computer software engineer and has a $250,000/year job even without finishing college. Another brother got Cs and few Bs in school, which shattered his dreams of becoming a Veterinarian, but he went on to become a top pharmaceutical salesman because he could listen and get along with people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he like to do? I'd be really tempted to start with what makes him happy and plays to his strengths. Then think of jobs that fit, then strategize about how to get there from here (which may or may not involve college -- or a trade school). If he doesn't know what he likes, try exposing him to things you think he might like. I have non college grad friends and family who do carpentry, firefighting, electrical work and financial services. And i see lots of people drawn to culinary careers. You might also think about how he likes to learn -- hands-on, one-on-one/apprenticeship, etc.

great advice. +1

[Anonymous]

Thank you. OP here. Great advice. He is totally outdoorsy (offers always to rake, mow, build things) and likes cars - takes everything apart (very frustrating when he was younger). Not really sure where to turn from there. I guess looking at all the careers out there with him and exploring with him what direction he'd like to go.

Honestly, "what do you want to do when you grow up" never came up because he was always so busy struggling to keep up academically, we never explored options. We have to step back and see what he really enjoys and can excel at so he's happy and financially stable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. OP here. Great advice. He is totally outdoorsy (offers always to rake, mow, build things) and likes cars - takes everything apart (very frustrating when he was younger). Not really sure where to turn from there. I guess looking at all the careers out there with him and exploring with him what direction he'd like to go.

Honestly, "what do you want to do when you grow up" never came up because he was always so busy struggling to keep up academically, we never explored options. We have to step back and see what he really enjoys and can excel at so he's happy and financially stable.

This actually sounds like engineering. Engineers love to take things apart, fix things and figure things out. They're very hands on. It's a hard major, but you can get through anything if you want to.

I would still encourage this kid to go to college, but maybe a local or smaller college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't very smart. He's wonderful in so many ways, but academics has never been his strong suit. He struggles in school and makes mediocre grades. we live in NoVa so you can imagine the pressure all around to be great.

So, my questions:

If he consistently maintains grades around Cs will he ever get into a college?
If we move to a less demanding area, will he have a better chance of getting into college?
Should we just give it up and start prepping him for a trade school that he might enjoy?

He's a rising sophomore right now.

Thanks

If he were my son, I'd have him follow his strengths! What does he do well? What does he enjoy?

I remember a friend of a friend from high school who volunteered at an animal shelter. She got so much from it! She followed her passion and did well moving up in that area. I lost touch, but remember her getting credentials around it at some point. My brother's love for computers led him to a life in the tech field, where he has done very well for himself. His interests gave him the skill set. My mother's mentoring as a small business owner did the rest.

These are just examples. I wouldn't despair. Allow him to lead a bit. Opportunities may come from that.

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Oops! I see someone beat me to it!

[Anonymous]

Would he be interested in a vo-tech high school?

[Anonymous]

Moving to a less competitive area will not necessarily make him a better student. Algebra is Algebra no matter where you go and if that is not your thing in Fairfax it will not be your thing in Walnut Grove. I think that there is a wider variety of course offerings in the DC area, whereas in a smaller town you might actually be stuck taking nothing but academic oriented courses OR going the vocational track with fewer vocational options to choose from. Have you checked out the vocational classes offered by the school?

[Anonymous]

Same with my son (not so smart and struggles with everything academic regardless of how much effort he puts into it). Even though we have a fully funded college account for my son, we reached the conclusion long ago that he was not likely to succeed in college. Frankly, everyone was relieved once we started talking openly about it. My son knew he wasn't college material and the pressure of having to go was really hard on him. Starting in MS, we visited every vocational program we could find and I tried to expose him to all sorts of career options, both through visiting schools and performing volunteer work and shadowing people on their jobs. He settled on an automotive program, applied to vo tech, was accepted and starts next week (we are in MCPS, which has the same pressure to go to college). For the first time ever, he is happy that school is starting. You have no idea what a relief this is.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Get him involved in the Career and Technical Education programs in your county (Used to be called Vocational). For some, they use the classes to jump start their careers. For others, it's a stepping stone to College, then careers. But they are great for kids who struggle with the academics and are better with hands on stuff.

I'm not familiar with the other counties, but FFX County has a great Career and Technical Education programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him involved in the Career and Technical Education programs in your county (Used to be called Vocational). For some, they use the classes to jump start their careers. For others, it's a stepping stone to College, then careers. But they are great for kids who struggle with the academics and are better with hands on stuff.

I'm not familiar with the other counties, but FFX County has a great Career and Technical Education programs.

+1 My DH was not academically inclined, and none of his family went to college so it wasn't at all on his radar. He was on the tech ed track but a PT job via that program introduced him to electronics and he ended up going to college for electrical engineering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. OP here. Great advice. He is totally outdoorsy (offers always to rake, mow, build things) and likes cars - takes everything apart (very frustrating when he was younger). Not really sure where to turn from there. I guess looking at all the careers out there with him and exploring with him what direction he'd like to go.

Honestly, "what do you want to do when you grow up" never came up because he was always so busy struggling to keep up academically, we never explored options. We have to step back and see what he really enjoys and can excel at so he's happy and financially stable.

This actually sounds like engineering. Engineers love to take things apart, fix things and figure things out. They're very hands on. It's a hard major, but you can get through anything if you want to.

I would still encourage this kid to go to college, but maybe a local or smaller college?

How physical is he? If outdoorsy and fit - what about park ranger type? http://www.collegemajors101.com/parks_recreation_accredited_schools.htm
How socially aware is he? What about counselor-type jobs - starting with camp counselor type things.
Cars, you say? What about that? Mechanics make good money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't very smart. He's wonderful in so many ways, but academics has never been his strong suit. He struggles in school and makes mediocre grades. we live in NoVa so you can imagine the pressure all around to be great.

So, my questions:

If he consistently maintains grades around Cs will he ever get into a college?
If we move to a less demanding area, will he have a better chance of getting into college?
Should we just give it up and start prepping him for a trade school that he might enjoy?

He's a rising sophomore right now.

Thanks

A thought ... my husband nearly dropped out of school - got through by the skin of his teeth. Never went to college either. Multiple learning disabilities. He took right to the computer (which certainly fixed the severe dysgraphic dysfunction) and pushed forward. He was a multi-millionaire by the time he was 33.

School is not the full measure of intelligence. What's he good at? Start there. My cousin makes a fine living as a plumber. His parents were shocked at first that's what he wanted to be. He's making a killing