Please some advice for not-so-smart high schooler

[Anonymous]

Can't fully funded college accounts be used for VoTech training?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's a perfect candidate for a trade apprenticeship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. OP here. Great advice. He is totally outdoorsy (offers always to rake, mow, build things) and likes cars - takes everything apart (very frustrating when he was younger). Not really sure where to turn from there. I guess looking at all the careers out there with him and exploring with him what direction he'd like to go.

Honestly, "what do you want to do when you grow up" never came up because he was always so busy struggling to keep up academically, we never explored options. We have to step back and see what he really enjoys and can excel at so he's happy and financially stable.

This actually sounds like engineering. Engineers love to take things apart, fix things and figure things out. They're very hands on. It's a hard major, but you can get through anything if you want to.

I would still encourage this kid to go to college, but maybe a local or smaller college?

How physical is he? If outdoorsy and fit - what about park ranger type? http://www.collegemajors101.com/parks_recreation_accredited_schools.htm
How socially aware is he? What about counselor-type jobs - starting with camp counselor type things.
Cars, you say? What about that? Mechanics make good money.

+1. Great options there. The mechanics one sounds like the most relevant one.

[Anonymous]

Op, make sure he is not in classes that are too advanced. He can go to college with the Standard Diploma and a C average. He can go to college w/Algebra 2 and no foreign language, no honor classes and no AP classes. What are his weak areas? And are you sure he isn't enrolled in classes over his head, or your expectations too high? I think he is too young to give up on college unless he is pushing for it.

[Anonymous]

When I was in HS they administered a test the Army gave for job placement. It was an aptitude test of sorts. I would start with an assessment of this type. He may have more ability than you give him credit and some direction may focus his energy. You can always try community college for a start and just let him explore. The CC to four year degree programs have gotten very good and many people are successful with this route. No need to sell him short or think it's a race. Relax and try to give him options more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he is "not smart"?

Did you have him tested, get his IQ?

I have lots of learning disabilities in mine and my h's family. We have electricians, chefs, car sales men, carpenters, lawyers, engineers, computer engineers, etc. in our family.

I don't think the "smartest" go to law school and the "not so smart" become electricians... Actually it might be the other way around.

There is an organization that can help you, bass educational enterprises, olney, md. You may want to get a consult.

Does you child want to go to college? If so I would start out at community college taking 3-4 classes and transfer to UMD school, maybe UMbC since it is smaller then college park.

You should google "colleges that change lives" ... They may also be good schools.

I have many relatives that did much better in college than HS, the format is better for kids that can learn but just hate certain subjects and excel at subject that interest them.

Also I have a relative doing Heating and air condition. His course load is way harder then any general studies in college.

Also, somebody that goes into a vocation would benefit from a college degree ... Especially in business. Mostly because they end up being their own business.

Sorry for all the typos, good luck.

[Anonymous]

There's a shortage of plumbers these days, OP. Most of the trades (electrician, carpenter, mechanic, etc.) are short of workers. If your DC likes any of these things, he can make a good living. College is NOT for everyone, and it's not a measure of success. I feel really badly for the C students whose abilities and interests like outside of the academic realm. DCUM reinforces this "Harvard or Bust" mentality that pervades this region. Your child does NOT have to go to college, but at some point he might want to. Encourage him to follow his interests and don't let him feel like a failure for not excelling in school. There are so many, many other ways to succeed in life.

[Anonymous]

He's probably fine! Many people, but I think especially boys have difficulty narrowing down what they really like and where their talents really exist until they are well into their 20s. For me grades k-12 were fairly awful. I had to take classes I didn't particularly enjoy, with kids and teachers I didn't particularly like; surely those feeling were mutual. I had little control of my life and I was constantly being judged by other people. Granted I was no bargain - but they weren't particularly delightful either.

Eventually, I went in the Navy, saw the world, developed some skills and realized I wasn't very dumb after all : )

Give him time before really assessing his potential. Think about the Navy. He'll visit a lot of cool places which will give him a more worldly perspective than the Army and Air Force. Of course that just my personal bias, but it's what worked for me.

[Anonymous]

That Army test is really stupid, don't have him do it. I took it to get out of class and it said I would be an excellent tugboat captain. WTF. I get seasick and hate boats. I have a law degree from Harvard now, though, and some days I think life guiding container ships in and out of port holds some allure...but then I recall the seasickness and get back to my documents.

Talk to your son about what his interests are but not in a "deciding your life" kind of way. A conversational way. Dont try to decide this for him, and don't be judgmental about what he thinks he wants to do. My brother was very similar in high school. He went to diesel college first, worked a while as a mechanic, then went back to college and became an elementary school teacher when he was a little older. He is a great person and does more good in the world than I will ever do, working with disadvantaged little kids. He would never have chosen that at your son's age, or been able to go through with it. He needed to grow up a bit. Nothing wrong with that, life is long and can have many paths.

[Anonymous]

BTW, my brother is very smart and if your son is good at fixing cars, etc he is too. Just in a different way than you. Grades in school are not everything. I have gotten good grades all my life but I can't fix a car worth a damn. I can hold my cell phone up to my car noise and my brother can instantly tell me what is wrong, and he is always correct. He is just as smart as me, but we have different skills and he has some ADHD problems than made school hard. He was still able to overcome it and get through college with As in his 20s with some more life behind him.

Have some respect for your son, quit saying that about him. Please just stop.

[Anonymous]

In the Norfolk, Virginia area kids like this can enter vocational programs to be machinists, welders, people who repair our nation's battleships. And they make pretty good money too.

Have you thought about having him enlist in the military? It might be worth talking to a recruiter. He could train as an airplane mechanic, a diver, etc. Lots of opportunities to be outdoors in the military, that's for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't fully funded college accounts be used for VoTech training?

The answer depends on what type of vehicle that you used to fund the college account. Also, it depends on where your child goes. A good deal of higher vocational education occurs at community colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son isn't very smart. He's wonderful in so many ways, but academics has never been his strong suit. He struggles in school and makes mediocre grades. we live in NoVa so you can imagine the pressure all around to be great.

So, my questions:

If he consistently maintains grades around Cs will he ever get into a college?
If we move to a less demanding area, will he have a better chance of getting into college?
Should we just give it up and start prepping him for a trade school that he might enjoy?

He's a rising sophomore right now.

Thanks

A thought ... my husband nearly dropped out of school - got through by the skin of his teeth. Never went to college either. Multiple learning disabilities. He took right to the computer (which certainly fixed the severe dysgraphic dysfunction) and pushed forward. He was a multi-millionaire by the time he was 33.

School is not the full measure of intelligence. What's he good at? Start there. My cousin makes a fine living as a plumber. His parents were shocked at first that's what he wanted to be. He's making a killing

[Anonymous]

Navy guy back again.

I believe the years 18-22 are very difficult for young men. You are not young and protected any longer, but you are not treated with the same degrees of adult respect afforded to someone who is 25 years of age. You have many adult responsibility but you are receiving few of the benefits of adulthood.

I respect kids who are focused at a young age and are certain they want be it college or vocational schools. However, many kids, similar to my experiences, are fairly confused about their futures at age 18.

Where I am going with this is that for kids who at 18 are at wits end and a little bit frightened about entering their next phase in their lives; adulthood, the military can offer what could be essentially a four year gap. Instead of a single gap year it can be a four gap to grow, learn, and experience the world. Think about it. Many people red-shirt their kids to give them an extra year to mature. People red-shirt their kids for education and academics in high school. Other people send their kids to prep schools before college. Those are all proactive parenting decisions designed to help their children mature. We all reach the finish line. However, few of us get there at the same precise moment in time.

The military provide young people a challenging and interesting place to "be" during those years. Clearly those are great benefits. Nevertheless, there are other socializing benefits as well. The military provides excitement, but it is also a socially protected secure environment. Bad things can happen anywhere. However, socially speaking military Commands, assure decent behavior and a safe living environment. Unless they are at war - but that's an entirely different subject. I'm addressing the way the military can help a person to mature.

The military also teaches leadership skills.

Again, I'd recommend the Navy because the travel is great, the food is alway hot, you sleep in a dry warm bunk, and in today's world it is very unlikely you'll ever come under fire. I respect every other branch of military service. But those are my experiences and things which worked for me.

Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

You have gotten some great advice, but one thing posters have not emphasized is just how young your son is right now. Some boys struggle academically in eighth and ninth grade, but do better in their later years of high school. One of my sons got several Cs as a high school freshman, but was a solid A- student taking multiple AP classes by his senior year.

FCPS, in particular, has some good Academycourses at schools like Falls Church, Chantilly, and Marshall. Most of those courses are what typically were labeled "vocational" courses in the past, and that term has a pejorative connotation in this white-collar area, but the Academies appeal to many students with a less academic bent and now also offer some more engineering-oriented courses as well. They might be a good fit for your son.

And give him a hug. Just think how many parents would love to have a son who offers to mow the yard!