Relationship makes me feel uneasy

[Anonymous]

Without going into tons of history, I'm 31 and never married. I was in two 5-year relationships that were ok but not great. Am a single Mom now. I'm dating the second man in two years and in many ways he is better than any relationship I've been in but he also makes me nervous or scared. I feel like he is too good to be true. Am I self sabotaging? Is it normal to feel reticent?

[Anonymous]

I am confused, were you married before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused, were you married before?

nevermind sorry I was confused ignore my stupidity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused, were you married before?

You've failed the course. Go try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am confused, were you married before?

nevermind sorry I was confused ignore my stupidity

Consider it ignored.

[Anonymous]

I felt this way about my now-ex, and he really was too good to be true. It was all an act. He was exactly what I was looking for, not because that's who he really was but because he figured out what I wanted and pretended to be that.

Does he seem to be genuine? Or do his actions and behaviors ring hollow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt this way about my now-ex, and he really was too good to be true. It was all an act. He was exactly what I was looking for, not because that's who he really was but because he figured out what I wanted and pretended to be that.

Does he seem to be genuine? Or do his actions and behaviors ring hollow?

I second this one. Beware the unicorn....if it seems too good to be true, you will eventually find that it is.

[Anonymous]

The stakes are high, especially since you have a child to worry about. I'd go with my gut and be careful. Want to describe him? Some of us are pretty good at spotting subtle red flags.

[Anonymous]

If anything is too good to be true, then it most likely is.

I was told this upon graduating high school and it has always ran true.

Now, is this guy super perfect for you? Or is it the fact that you have allowed him to get close to you...And that intimacy scares you since you have had your heart broken in the past and are terrified of it happening again. Reasonable.

If it is the latter, then you need to understand that to reap any reward in life, one must take risks. Sure, there is a lot at stake, your precious heart...However a person who refuses to take risks, one who stays in their comfort zone out of fear....Well those people ultimately lose in the game of life.

[Anonymous]

*rang true

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have other trust issues from your past that you should discuss with a professional.

[Anonymous]

My husband feels this way about me because of his self confidence issues and abandonment issues. We still have a great relationship and I'm definitely not too good to be real - I'm just average in every way. I'm just more reliable than anyone in his life has ever been.

You need to figure out if the warning bells stem from his behavior or your own insecurities so you don't run from a good thing for the wrong reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels this way about me because of his self confidence issues and abandonment issues. We still have a great relationship and I'm definitely not too good to be real - I'm just average in every way. I'm just more reliable than anyone in his life has ever been.

You need to figure out if the warning bells stem from his behavior or your own insecurities so you don't run from a good thing for the wrong reasons.

This.

I have met a new man and we both had abusive pasts. We are so in love and discuss everything. We have covered so much terrain and are deeply bonded. People might think it looks "too good to e true", but we have finally found each other. Its real, based on evidence.

OP you need to give more detail on what makes you uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Trust your uneasiness and leave the relationship. Always trust your instincts.

If you're concerned about your own issues, seek therapy afterward and get some clarity before you get into another serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Actually I meant to say always trust your gut instincts when you think something is amiss.


Think critically about your instincts to jump right in with someone. Unless there are kids involved, there is a far greater risk in staying than leaving and starting fresh.