Relationship makes me feel uneasy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels this way about me because of his self confidence issues and abandonment issues. We still have a great relationship and I'm definitely not too good to be real - I'm just average in every way. I'm just more reliable than anyone in his life has ever been.

You need to figure out if the warning bells stem from his behavior or your own insecurities so you don't run from a good thing for the wrong reasons.

I agree with this, too. If you have been cheated on in the past or had your heart completely broken, it can be harder to trust your own instincts. In my case, my ex of 22 years cheated on me. I felt somehow like i didn't even really ever know him when I learned about all the things he did. So when I started dating again, I was never really sure whether my "spider sense" was on point or whether I was just afraid of getting hurt.

I can tell you that when my "spidey sense" told me that something wasn't quite right -- it always ended up being reliable. Where I struggle is with the really good guys and trusting myself to really be vulnerable.

Take a look at what makes you nervous. Is there something about his behavior that doesn't seem right. Do you have questions about his past and whether you know everything you should? Those are red flags.

Has he introduced you to close friends and family? Does he act like himself when he is around them? Do you like his family and friends? Those are big clues to whether he is being genuine and is just really a great guy or whether he is somehow too good to be true.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable, but be cautious and take things at a measured pace.