My child attends an elite college. It is overrated.

[Anonymous]

Anybody planning anything special for when this thread turns three years old in a couple of weeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

Hmm, my second rate grad program landed me a 6 figure job 20 years ago.... don't be so judgy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

Social climber parents confuse their kid being in the same dorm as rich kids or at parties with rich kids to be the same as genuinely in that sphere. Or even going on spring break with them.

You’re only in that sphere when you’re still living with them and vacationing with them AFTER college. And you’re REALLY in that sphere when you’re allowed to marry a high status boy or girl from that sphere. When these wealthy college friends are introducing you to potential spouses, ex their attractive siblings or classmates they went to prep school with, et al.

Most of the “connections” strivers THINK they made in college cease when everyone graduates. Maybe they’ll get invited to a wedding or two. That’s about it. Your kid is nothing to them.

Worked for Kate Middleton!

Kate’s family is wealthy and aristocracy. And she was the prettiest girl at their college. Is your son or daughter going to be the most attractive coed at an Ivy? No.

Kate's family are wealthy middle class strivers who bootstrapped their business. They would make good Americans.

[Anonymous]

I went to an elite college and it was absolutely worth it. I came from a small town, with parents who did not attend college (in fact one was a drop out). Elite colleges tend to be wealthy, so they spend more per student AND they provide need based aid. That meant it cost me less to go to this school than it would have for the state flagship. The classes were smaller and I had genuine relationships with the top academics in my chosen field. Also— the school did not offer degrees in education, nursing, physical therapy, or hotel management— these are all fine degrees and help people get jobs that pay decently but I would have been tempted by my own need (and fear) to major in these fields instead
of going to professional school. I was nurtured as a student, and most of all exposed to possibilities I never would have imagined. I agree that attending an elite institution may not be worth it for those who already run in elite circles or who squander the substantial opportunities offered, but it is absolutely worth it for people like me. The schools are considered elite for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

My kid went to a T15 LAC (not going to name it here.) I'm not sure if that qualifies as "elite," but it's a good school. It had a mix of very rich kids, some poor kids on FA, and mostly upper-middle class kids, and they all seemed to bond and get along. No barriers between rich and poor. Most of them weren't particularly status-conscious or interested in getting rich, at least not as undergraduates. In fact, getting rich was rather frowned upon as bourgeois. Kid met future spouse at school, married young, one partner earning $200K a year at 24, the other in a really good grad program, both very happy, lots of friends and interests. Perhaps they got a bit lucky.

There are many ways to be successful. Your DD must be very bright and hard-working to have gotten into an elite school, and she probably got an excellent education. That counts for a great deal, even if she isn't making a lot of money. An elite education is in itself an achievement that will always enrich your child's life in non-monetary ways. And don't be discouraged if she isn't blazing trails a few years out of school. As she gets older, that education will assert itself. If she has children, her education will help her to nourish their minds. If she joins a book club, she will enrich the experience of other members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody planning anything special for when this thread turns three years old in a couple of weeks?

🍾 🍹 🥂 🎉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody planning anything special for when this thread turns three years old in a couple of weeks?

Happy Hour hits at 5pm! Come on over for chips and dip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:… he has many friends that are either juniors in college or else taking closer to 5 years to graduate (most of the 4+ year graduates are from big OOS schools-- too hard to graduate in 4 years at those places).

Any given student an have a wonderful time at any school, but the the five-year bachelor’s track is a reason to consider sending kids to more flexible private schools, if that’s possible.

Brandeis and Case Western aren’t more prestigious UCLA, for example, but the percentage of students who have a hard time graduating in four years purely because of scheduling problems is probably very low.

For a student who would have even a low-paying job after college, the cost of an extra OOS year at a place like UCLA is about $60,000 for the extra year in school, plus at least $50,000 in lost income.