How to keep sex in your marriage....

[Anonymous]

There are tons of posts on DCUM about lack of sex in relationships.

Can anyone offer advice about what they do that helps?

Some of the things I do that seem to help include:

- talking to her every day with no distractions
- helping with the household workload so shes less tired. This includes dishes, picking up, putting away laundry, kid's homework, trash, etc.
- being fiscally responisble - don't spend recklessly, etc
- staying fit and attractive

What are some other things people do?

[Anonymous]

Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

[Anonymous]

No kids in your bed. Lock on bedroom door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

Could you say a little more about how he isn't earning respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

Could you say a little more about how he isn't earning respect?

He lets me do as much as I can before I drop. Spends more than I do. Just all around lazier, and happy to let me work my fingers to the bone. Yet foolishly I'm still the one with the higher sex drive. I deeply resent that I earn 50% or a bit more of the household income, but do 90% of the household work. I don't respect a man who can live with himself, knowing there's that kind of imbalance.

[Anonymous]

Back rubs. Not the long, drawn out ones, but the random back rub when I'm getting coffee ready or whatever.

[Anonymous]

We take off work once a month (usually ends up being 9-10 time a year) and go on an all day date. The kids are in school so daycare is not an issue.

We meet for lunch once a month.

[Anonymous]

Be nice to each other, and try to do new things together, so life doesn't seem so boring. Associate excitement with each other.

[Anonymous]

I think making time for each other is really important. Scheduling date nights or day dates like PP said is really helpful for us to connect as a couple. We aren't able to do it more than maybe once a month but it's something we both look forward to.

[Anonymous]

I am a highly visual guy. What keeps the sex in big time is things like finding my wife naked in bed or inviting me into the shower. In other words, keeping some of the things going that we did when we were rating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

Could you say a little more about how he isn't earning respect?

He lets me do as much as I can before I drop. Spends more than I do. Just all around lazier, and happy to let me work my fingers to the bone. Yet foolishly I'm still the one with the higher sex drive. I deeply resent that I earn 50% or a bit more of the household income, but do 90% of the household work. I don't respect a man who can live with himself, knowing there's that kind of imbalance.

Do you have kids? Does he help with kids like pick them up, take them to doctors, take them to playground? Does he help with household at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

Could you say a little more about how he isn't earning respect?

He lets me do as much as I can before I drop. Spends more than I do. Just all around lazier, and happy to let me work my fingers to the bone. Yet foolishly I'm still the one with the higher sex drive. I deeply resent that I earn 50% or a bit more of the household income, but do 90% of the household work. I don't respect a man who can live with himself, knowing there's that kind of imbalance.

That is insane. So sorry to hear this. Really no excuse for that.

[Anonymous]

I touch her affectionately and in naughty fashion and compliment her even on days when there's no chance of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect. My husband won't have sex with me frequently enough to suit me and he claims it's because I don't respect him. My response is that respect is earned, dude. So, no, we don't have frequent sex.

Could you say a little more about how he isn't earning respect?

He lets me do as much as I can before I drop. Spends more than I do. Just all around lazier, and happy to let me work my fingers to the bone. Yet foolishly I'm still the one with the higher sex drive. I deeply resent that I earn 50% or a bit more of the household income, but do 90% of the household work. I don't respect a man who can live with himself, knowing there's that kind of imbalance.

That is insane. So sorry to hear this. Really no excuse for that.

Hence, lack of respect. He's also the only guy I've ever heard call sex work.

[Anonymous]

Foot rubs