In other words, if your ex gets sick do you care, at least for the sake of your kids. |
No. |
If he has a man-cold I'm not making him soup. I'd say if it involves a hospital or broken bones I'd put in some effort. I'd take the kids to see him, drive him to a dr's appt, prompt the kids to bake him cookies and draw a card, etc.
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No. Not at all. |
I care in the sense that I know how miserable it is to watch kids by yourself when you aren't feeling well, so if he has the flu or something like that I will gladly take the kids. If he was sick enough to be in the hospital, I would take the kids to see him and make sure that he had enough support when he got home (but I wouldn't do it myself). If he had a terminal illness, I would do everything I could to make sure the kids had as much quality time with him as possible until the end and help him get his affairs in order so the kids wouldn't have to handle these things on their own (if they were old enough to be expected to.) |
I still miss my ex but my aim is getting better. |
Of course I care. He's my ex, but he's like family. |
As much interest as he has in me. |
It sounds like it somewhat depends why he's your ex. Our breakup was relatively amicable, so yes, I do care when he gets sick. Now, for a man cold it's still his time with the kids and not my problem, but we have had hospitals, cancer scares and the like, and we all just adjust and help each other out. |
Yes. Even though we failed as a couple, we have worked out our differences in order to raise our children. While I don't really care about the day to day aspects of his life (unless it affects the kids), I do care about his overall health and wellbeing. He is their father and I have to always respect that.
It is important to note that he is a nice guy but we are just not suited for each other. |
Yes and No. My ex is mentally I'll and despite my recommendations and recommendations from every girlfriend he's ever had, he does not get the help that he needs. I'm not dealing with a mentally ill person that refuses to get help. |
I do care, mostly for the sake of our kids. They are 18 and 24 now so the day-to-day illnesses aren't really a problem.
However, I helped in a big way when my ex had a heart attack and bypass surgery. He hasn't remarried and his family lives far away, so technically DD is his next of kin. But she was 22 at the time and all the doctors and medical stuff was way too much for her to handle. I was aghast at how unprepared he was, honestly-- no power of attorney or new will or anything. So I ended up at the hotel by the hospital with DD for a week, supporting her with food and sympathy etc. and taking care of stuff for the small business my ex owns. I helped out for a few months while he recovered. It was hard and awkward, but I would do it again, for my children's sake. It just isn't fair to dump something like that on a young adult. My own parents are divorced, so I know all too well how hard it is when you're on your own to deal with them. I suggest that you all get your affairs in order, and think hard about what a seriously ill parent is like for an adult child of divorce. |
Are you retired? |
No, but I only work 30 hours a week. My workplace was understanding. Really, the bottom line was that I could take care of this myself, or I could dump it on DD22. And I just wasn't willing to do that to my kid. |
I want to be you when I grow up. For the sake of my daughters, I hope I am you when I grow up (they're still little). |