1st world problems- sick of schlepping

[Anonymous]

Just whining for a moment. I am not looking forward to being a taxi driver again this week and getting various homework assignments from clinicians. I tend to do their homework, but it's so annoying when one week you have no time and the clinician makes you feel like a lazy parent. I am actually looking forward to work (my escape), but it is annoying that 2 coworkers seem to think working part time- I just go home and eat bon bons with my kids on the sofa and then maybe go to the pool and playground.

Had to get that out. I find ways to take me time and I get a lot done in the waiting rooms when there aren't tantrums or other things going on. I know how fortunate I am in so many ways and how much easier I have it then a lot of parents. Just need a little pity party.

Anyone else sick of the schlep?? Please feel free to whine...perhaps with a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

I am with you, OP. After a reduced schedule over the summer, we are gearing up for a renewed effort in various therapies. We are having to search out and start at new places due to a revised diagnosis my child got over the summer. We need to meet with the appropriate folks at the school to put together an IEP and I don't know where to start. And my other child will be starting up fall activities too. Boy, I wish I could outsource this stuff. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Good luck with everything, OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. My worst experience was a time when dc finally got in to see an ot and was doing vision and speech therapy at the same time. Dc was very young and most nights of the week we got home close to bedtime. The ot was young and had no children of her own. She had issues and would insist I jump through hoops that she made up each week and held over my head that she had 40 people trying to get one of 4 spots she had open. She allowed only 3 missed sessions in a year and she didn't allow time off for Christmas. I would get fed up that each specialist expected me to be an expert in their field. I remember being exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel your pain. My worst experience was a time when dc finally got in to see an ot and was doing vision and speech therapy at the same time. Dc was very young and most nights of the week we got home close to bedtime. The ot was young and had no children of her own. She had issues and would insist I jump through hoops that she made up each week and held over my head that she had 40 people trying to get one of 4 spots she had open. She allowed only 3 missed sessions in a year and she didn't allow time off for Christmas. I would get fed up that each specialist expected me to be an expert in their field. I remember being exhausted.

One of my favorite OTs was a parent with 4 kids, one of whom had SN. She totally got it. The homework was so reasonable and she had ideas for tools we could make as opposed to throwing $100 here and $50 there buying whatever the OT suggests/expects us to buy. She understood we needed breaks for things like the holidays. We have had 2 OTs who were young, without kids who were great and had tremendous empathy. Have also had the childless OT who just.didn't.get.it.

I understand they give us "homework" to reinforce things. It's the sticklers who piss me off. We are going through our savings to pay your exorbitant fee. Don't give me attitude. I show us, unlike many of your other clients it seems.

I have a special place in my heart for OTs who take insurance. God bless them. They can even stress me out and I forgive them.

[Anonymous]

I just told one new professional that I would not take my son to see her during rush hour, meaning a 3 hour total trip for 45 minutes of therapy. Every week, while my other son was home alone.

She told me I wasn't doing everything I could do for my son who needed the therapy. I can't believe how stressed I was until I told her no. Sometimes you have to prioritize.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has done the schlep for years: does anyone out there really think the schlep is worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just told one new professional that I would not take my son to see her during rush hour, meaning a 3 hour total trip for 45 minutes of therapy. Every week, while my other son was home alone.

She told me I wasn't doing everything I could do for my son who needed the therapy. I can't believe how stressed I was until I told her no. Sometimes you have to prioritize.

Heck yeah!! Good for you!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has done the schlep for years: does anyone out there really think the schlep is worth it?

We're in the early stages of schlepping and I already don't think it's worth it for us. Son is 4, has some quirks, and according to the dev ped his only diagnosis will be AHDH impulsive (not inattentive). Looking at my family history, we were probably all in this category. But my family is all gifted, had great attention for school, and though we have some social quirks, we've all generally been popular and well-liked and successful.

But every time we talk to an expert, there's some new-fangled therapy that we're advised to follow. First it was OT (waste of time), now speech (unrelated to his ADHD - related to his major hearing loss from fluid), and now the words floating around are more OT, therapy, social skills groups....

The thing is, my son is exceptionally well-behaved when he's calm and low-key. I work and my husband travels all the time, so the idea of hauling my kids to three simple therapies a week from preschool is crazy stressful - for me and for him. I have pretty high confidence that my son will end up okay either way. Therapy may theoretically "fix" some of his issues. Or therapy may just resolve them earlier than they might have in the absence of intervention. But if we don't do therapy at all, worst case is that we suffer through some tough preschool years while he works out the kinds, and then he's a little off as an adult (like 95% normal) but still smart and successful and well-liked. So all this stress now -- which literally makes him worse on a day to day basis by escalating his stimulation, but has the potentially to help him long term.... I think we're going to slowly back away from this whole process, implement common sense parenting that we see helps, and just wait if/when his elementary teachers insist we get him help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just told one new professional that I would not take my son to see her during rush hour, meaning a 3 hour total trip for 45 minutes of therapy. Every week, while my other son was home alone.

She told me I wasn't doing everything I could do for my son who needed the therapy. I can't believe how stressed I was until I told her no. Sometimes you have to prioritize.

She's an ass. Is that therapist in practice for herself? if not, I would contact the person in charge and share this. It's fine if she doesn't have other appointments, but it is totally inappropriate for her to show a lack of empathy and try to give you a guilt trip.

For the record, I don't do any therapies during rush hour anymore. My kid is a much happier person during appointments that don't involve fighting traffic and crazy angry drivers in a rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has done the schlep for years: does anyone out there really think the schlep is worth it?

We're in the early stages of schlepping and I already don't think it's worth it for us. Son is 4, has some quirks, and according to the dev ped his only diagnosis will be AHDH impulsive (not inattentive). Looking at my family history, we were probably all in this category. But my family is all gifted, had great attention for school, and though we have some social quirks, we've all generally been popular and well-liked and successful.

But every time we talk to an expert, there's some new-fangled therapy that we're advised to follow. First it was OT (waste of time), now speech (unrelated to his ADHD - related to his major hearing loss from fluid), and now the words floating around are more OT, therapy, social skills groups....

The thing is, my son is exceptionally well-behaved when he's calm and low-key. I work and my husband travels all the time, so the idea of hauling my kids to three simple therapies a week from preschool is crazy stressful - for me and for him. I have pretty high confidence that my son will end up okay either way. Therapy may theoretically "fix" some of his issues. Or therapy may just resolve them earlier than they might have in the absence of intervention. But if we don't do therapy at all, worst case is that we suffer through some tough preschool years while he works out the kinds, and then he's a little off as an adult (like 95% normal) but still smart and successful and well-liked. So all this stress now -- which literally makes him worse on a day to day basis by escalating his stimulation, but has the potentially to help him long term.... I think we're going to slowly back away from this whole process, implement common sense parenting that we see helps, and just wait if/when his elementary teachers insist we get him help.

I've been there. If they recommend a therapy with little if any research supporting it, I just simply say we mostly stick to empirically validated treatments. I get all different opinions, talk with as many parents as possible and make the decision that works best for us. We feel ST has been well worth it. OT can be worth it, but I found it more work to find a good OT than it is to find a good ST. Some of the OTs we encountered were wackadoos who seemed to need more help than my child did with things like executive functioning, anxiety, etc or they seem like they missed the classes on child development. Some offenses we have experienced include introducing toys that are for age 10 and up for a 4 year old or giving an 18 month old toxic markers and then saying it's NBD when the kid puts it in her mouth. There was one therapist who gave pipe cleaners to our then 2 year old who proceeded to stab herself multiple times and cry. That said, there are good OTs and we do feel they have helped.

Social skills group is a waste at age 4 for our experience. Kids are still so open minded so IMO you are better off getting playdates. My child has learned so much from kids with good social skills. When we tried social skills groups the negative behaviors seemed to be contagious. One time we were told our child was the model and yet we still had pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has done the schlep for years: does anyone out there really think the schlep is worth it?

My dd is 10 and we have been seeing professionals since before she turned 1. I can honestly say at least 90% of them were not worth either the time spent on them or the money spent on them. So many people who did absolutely nothing for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just told one new professional that I would not take my son to see her during rush hour, meaning a 3 hour total trip for 45 minutes of therapy. Every week, while my other son was home alone.

She told me I wasn't doing everything I could do for my son who needed the therapy. I can't believe how stressed I was until I told her no. Sometimes you have to prioritize.

Heck yeah!! Good for you!!!

Oh that brings back memories. We were running from one clinician to another, working on the brushing protocol, parents of dc's friend are angry because we have no time to fit in multiple play dates in the week and I hear the same crap from an ot. I was told I HAD to sign dc up for gymnastics to help with motor issues, had to sign dc up for sports because dc needed it for self esteem. At this point we were in some therapy/setting Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri and had counseling on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

We have used 2 different ots and I thought both were useful. One did entirely sensory ot and she was much less helpful. If I could go back in time, we would have done that for no more than 6 months.

We endured 3 years of speech therapy and I believe it was a complete waste of time.

Vision therapy did seem to help with reading and with motor issues.

Counseling for bullying when in early elementary was useless. Group social skills training when dc was older was very helpful.

[Anonymous]

My rule is, if the therapist makes insane demands and guilt trips me, I politely assert myself and explain what we can and cannot do due to other constraints. If she give me attitude, we dump her.If the policy is you must still go back 2 or 3 more times after announcing the dumping, then I simply call the director of the place and politely explain the predicament. If that doesn't work I get bitchy and mumble about how forcing a child to use a clinician who is a bad fit should be considered malpractice. That usually does it. Only had to do that once. Most places are pretty cool about things.