How old to not need after school care?

[Anonymous]

Both DH and I work full-time out of the home, and our kids are little now, so we depend on after care when school lets out. I was wondering when kids no longer needed after-care, and what they do between 3pm - 5pm/6pm? Is it high school, and they stay after school in various clubs every day of the week? Do they take the bus home (at 13ish?) and just let themselves in and stay home unattended for three hours? I'm in the thick of toddler/kindergarten age right now, so I can't imagine having a child unattended in my home for three hours, but is that how it typically goes for teenagers (or, even younger)?

[Anonymous]

In middle school they often stay home alone but I think it's inadvisable to do it often. Those are prime years for getting in trouble. There are clubs in middle school. Kids ships have a balance of engaging activities, downtime, and unsupervised time. Very kid-dependent as far as what mix works best.

[Anonymous]

I'd say the start of 6th grade

Certainly the more time w/an attending adult, or planned activities the better. I was home w/kids. Many parents weren't. Kids didn't turn out too differently. Depends on the kid - hard to anticipate.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to Kinder Care for after care. They age out of that at 12. My kids now are 7 and 9, so I'm not there yet.

[Anonymous]

It depends. In fourth grade, our ES lets kids walk or ride their bikes home alone. But if you take the bus, then at age 8 in MD it would be fine. With mine, the first went to aftercare until about the first quarter of MS. The second stopped aftercare in third grade due to sports. My youngest is also going to stop in third grade, but she lives with a older teenagers.

As to what they do, we have a rule that you cannot go to anyone's house where a parent isn't home until HS. There are some after school sports that get your kids home an hour or so later starting in 7th grade. There isn't much for 6th graders, but I've seen a few clubs that go for a few weeks each quarter. Other than that, there is homework, going swimming at the beginning and end of the school year, chores, etc.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. I know of parents who their 4th grader went home alone because he wanted alone time to do homework and he did homework without problems. However, his brother didn't stay home till 7th grade when SACC ended


You'll know when it's time. don't worry about it now.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to tell when your kids are little what you will need. My kids are old enough to stay home alone in the afternoon but often that is not practical. My 5th grader gets driven both ways to school so most days my 8th grader lets himself into the house. He is usually home alone for about an hour until my nanny gets back with the 5th grader. Then sometimes one of them stays alone and my nanny takes the other to an activity. While both of mine are fine to stay home for a few hours, I have a nanny to drive my kids to activities or just start dinner while the kids are doing homework. In any given week, they each have hours alone and that's fine. If your kids are more into staying home or have activities at home or school, then you don't need as much help. If your kids need to be driven places, then you need someone to help you.

[Anonymous]

At a certain age it is good to start to ease your kids into staying alone at home, but again it depends on the child, the ability to follow safety rules, the ability to use time constructively or at least not get into trouble. It is a good idea for both boys and girls to take a general first aide or sitter class as soon as one can if offered in your area. Also, keep a list of numbers a kid/teen can call as needed. It could be a neighbor or friend who lives closeby. The key rule for us has always been no cooking whatsoever when we are not at home.

[Anonymous]

My kids do it at 10 and 13 (and did last year at 9 and 12). They take the bus home, let themselves in, walk the dog and do their homework. Sometimes, they walk to the library or the park (but they text me to let me know). 10 year old gets home at 3:05 and 13 year old gets home at 4:15, so 10 year old is home alone for an hour or so. Sometimes one or the other will have after school activities and either I pick them up or they get a ride home (so the other is home alone).

We used to have an au pair but her time ended just as we were moving out of state, so we didn't get another. We've been doing this for about a year and haven't had any issues. The kids both seem very responsible, so I'm not concerned, but I do check in. They always have their homework done (or substantially complete) by the time I get home around 5:30. This year, though, I'm considering changing my hours to be home by 3:30 or 4:00 because they both said it's a little lonely.

[Anonymous]

PP here, I will add that I'm generally available for calls/texts at work. The little one calls me every day when she gets home and the older one generally texts me from the bus on the ride home.

[Anonymous]

I walked home from school and let myself into the house when I was 9 but this was the late 70s when this was the norm. I can't imagine my 9 year old DS even wanting to do this for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Me too PP, I went home alone starting at first grade! But I could be trusted to lock door, call my parents, and do my homework. I wouldn't do that with my ES kids though. I think my 6th grade for my older one, I will be comfortable with an hour or so being home alone. Not every day, but 2x a week wouldn't be bad as down time and home work time.

[Anonymous]

I I let them start at 4th quarter of 5th grade. It was my test period. Bus dropped them off at 4pm, I got home at 5:45. They had to let the dog out, make a snack and start homework.

Now that my boys are in middle school, they also have to start a pot of rice, boil water, etc when I'm on my way home. It's worked well thus far.

[Anonymous]

#1. Went to aftercare good 6 and 7. When #2 hit 6th grade they both came home alone together. Some times #2 is home alone when #1 has. Another activity.

[Anonymous]

Maryland home alone law says a kid must be 8 to be left Alone at home during the day for up to 1.5 hrs. 11 for up to 3 hrs. I was home alone starting in 5th grade. Came home on bus, did hw and started dinner.